Jeffrey D Parfitt
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parfitt.bsky.social
Jeffrey D Parfitt
@parfitt.bsky.social
270 followers 1.2K following 37 posts
Alexandria, VA
#ALLCAPS
Sometimes I write
Sometimes I bartend
Buy my book: https://tinyurl.com/82d2vrew
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parfitt.bsky.social
Holly doesn’t do tea and healing circles. She enters knife throwing contests to fund gun repairs so she can hunt down the shithead who killed her mother. If you’re here for something cozy, keep scrolling. #mustread #books #horror #urbanfantasy #indieauthor

www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-kings-ra...
A King's Ransom|Paperback
Her mom's dead. Her dad's pissed. And the gun tying it all together just got stolen.Plagued by years of torment after witnessing her mother's murder, the daughter of two ex-assassins navigates Los Ang...
www.barnesandnoble.com
November 6, 2025 at 8:02 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Holly Ransom is what happens when John Wick and Buffy Summers have a baby, then unleash her into the world of Sandman Slim. Except, she’s not hunting monsters, just one man she’s promised to knife-fuck into the afterlife.

#QuestPit #my #h #p #wtf #unhinged #a #RatedR
November 6, 2025 at 1:12 AM
parfitt.bsky.social
'A King’s Ransom' recipe:

1 part Buffy the Vampire Slayer
1 part Welcome to Night Vale
1 part Sandman Slim

Directions: Shake it like a newborn w/ no neck support and serve intravenously.

Rated R for rage, ruin, and raw chaos.

#p #urbanFantasy #h #a #my #questpit
November 5, 2025 at 10:21 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Dresden Files x True Blood x Deadpool

Holly doesn’t do tea and healing circles. She enters knife throwing contests to fund gun repairs so she can hunt down the shithead who killed her mother. If you’re here for something cozy, keep scrolling.
#QuestPit #my #h #p #wtf
November 5, 2025 at 10:07 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
The Highball Debacle
Day 1 at new bartending job. The bartender training me says: "Double drinks must be rung up as two singles for inventory reasons."Highballs (vodka/soda, Jack/Coke, tequila/OJ) = $13 each. Doubles = $26 total.Cocktails are different at $16. Easy enough!
July 30, 2025 at 9:26 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
The leader of China’s Shaolin Temple is under investigation for embezzlement and fathering illegitimate children. Authorities got suspicious when he said he took a vow of seduction, not silence.
#jokes #comedy #monologuejokes #fyp #trending #news #viral
July 29, 2025 at 5:44 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Holly's checklist:
✅ Survive mafia politics
✅ Outfight junkie vampires
❌ Solve mom's murder

If sarcasm, ultraviolence, and crime families are your thing, check out A KING’S RANSOM. Or don’t. Holly doesn’t care.
amazon.com/dp/B0FGRP4SXB
#AntiHeroine #Booksky #wtf #UrbanFantasy #fyp #trending
July 25, 2025 at 10:44 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
A man in Argentina was awarded $12,500 after Google Street View captured him naked in his front yard. In related news, Argentina has just launched a universal income program with zero cost to taxpayers; everyone just has to stand naked in their front yard once a year.

#jokes
#comedy
#trending
#fyp
July 25, 2025 at 4:11 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
After a judicial decision this week to not extend her appointment, President Trump’s former attorney, Alina Habba, said on Thursday that she would voluntarily remain in New Jersey because on the scale of fake tans it’s only a little better.

#news #snl #politics #weekendupdate #news #jokes
July 24, 2025 at 11:32 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Inmates at Idaho’s only maximum security prison were excited to learn Bryan Kohberger settled in to start his consecutive life sentences along with his new job as a prison pocket.

#jokes #breakingnews #trending #weekendupdate #latenightcomedy #SNL
July 24, 2025 at 10:43 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Holly's checklist:
✅Survive #mafia politics
✅Outfight junkie #vampires
❌Solve mom's #murder

If sarcasm, ultraviolence, and crime families are your thing, check out A KING’S RANSOM. Or don’t. Holly doesn’t care.
amazon.com/dp/B0FGRP4SXB
#AntiHeroine #Booksky #wtf #UrbanFantasy
July 22, 2025 at 1:36 AM
parfitt.bsky.social
'A King's Ransom'
Recipe:
1 part Buffyverse
1 part Welcome to Night Vale
1 part Sandman Slim
Shake it like a newborn
Serve intravenously

Buy it here: a.co/d/gPSO1yS
#AmWriting
#IndieAuthor
#UrbanFantasy
#WritersOfBlueSky
#DarkFiction
#WritingCommunity
#Booksky
#WriterSky
#horrorsky
July 11, 2025 at 10:01 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Hellspice and everything not so nice.

A King's Ransom is a gritty #urbanfantasy #mystery that'll make you feel it in all the right places.

Available on Kindle and paperback. Hardcover coming soon. amazon.com/dp/B0FGQM8JGM

#writingcommunity
#indieauthor
#amwriting
#darkhumor
#RatedR
#bookworm
July 11, 2025 at 4:10 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Take your mind off politics and bad news by checking out A King's Ransom, a weird fuckin' #UrbanFantasy #Mystery with a good amount of #horror.

Available on Kindle. Paperback & Hardcover coming soon. amazon.com/dp/B0FGQM8JGM

#RatedR
#writersky
#booksky
#mustread
#fantasybooks
#bookworm
#noir
July 10, 2025 at 6:08 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Her mom’s dead. Her dad’s pissed. And the gun tying it all together just got stolen.

Check out A King's Ransom, an #UrbanFantasy #Mystery.

Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited. Paperback & Hardcover coming soon. www.amazon.com/dp/B0FGQM8JGM #booksky #writingcommunity #indieauthor
July 10, 2025 at 4:33 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Proof copies arrived today. =) #writersky #writingcommunity #booksky #urbanfantasy #mystery #MakeItWeirder
July 8, 2025 at 9:40 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Working on the cover/back for my debut #novel. What do you all think? It's an urban fantasy mystery. #writingcommunity
\m/

If you like @jasonkpargin.bsky.social, @nightvaleradio.bsky.social, Elmore Leonard, @richardkadrey.bsky.social, Douglas Adams or @keithrosson.bsky.social you'll love this.
July 7, 2025 at 12:33 AM
parfitt.bsky.social
I now have an MFA. Looking forward to asking people if they'd like fries with that.
April 1, 2025 at 12:44 AM
parfitt.bsky.social
ugh
February 17, 2025 at 9:26 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
Pringles mustache commercial > Justice League reshoots.
#superbowl
February 10, 2025 at 1:03 AM
parfitt.bsky.social
Authors... how long do you let your manuscript sit before going back for an edit?
January 17, 2025 at 4:48 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
New pilot finished. 5 ch to go on novel. Do I smash head on keyboard, or keyboard on head?
November 15, 2024 at 2:39 PM
parfitt.bsky.social
If you followed me on Twitter, add me!
November 15, 2024 at 2:35 PM