Fia Akseliane Ekeland
@ostogvann.bsky.social
A 🇨🇦/🇳🇴 punk loving failed musician. I like skateboarding, Tank Girl, Warhammer 40k, and being a dad. 150% gay and married to another hot lesbian. Masters in Archival Studies. I'll try to be normal. I ❤️ Jahna/Rem ❤️
She/her
She/her
Blart simpon say iconic catchphrase hawk tuah man
November 20, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Blart simpon say iconic catchphrase hawk tuah man
Dude, I dress like a fucking nerd for work. Every day, it's been like a sweater and slacks. Dress codes suck something else. Gosh, dang, mandatory green pants or some shit...
November 17, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Dude, I dress like a fucking nerd for work. Every day, it's been like a sweater and slacks. Dress codes suck something else. Gosh, dang, mandatory green pants or some shit...
The term "Big Beautiful Bill" has a whole new meaning today... I did not need to read that.
November 14, 2025 at 3:36 PM
The term "Big Beautiful Bill" has a whole new meaning today... I did not need to read that.
Dude, getting extra cash this year for the holiday blackhole was kinda easy this time. Did more work for my neighbors, doing overtime and weaponizing my ass again. Men will pay wild prices for butts. There is nothing better than dirty money.
November 13, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Dude, getting extra cash this year for the holiday blackhole was kinda easy this time. Did more work for my neighbors, doing overtime and weaponizing my ass again. Men will pay wild prices for butts. There is nothing better than dirty money.
Why dis shark laughing? Why dis bitch look old, yet hot?
November 13, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Why dis shark laughing? Why dis bitch look old, yet hot?
I've had to read green eggs and ham every night this past week for our daughter. Last week, it was fox in socks. I like twisting my tongue, but not like this!
November 13, 2025 at 2:58 PM
I've had to read green eggs and ham every night this past week for our daughter. Last week, it was fox in socks. I like twisting my tongue, but not like this!
“Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time, we created a lot of value for the shareholders”
November 7, 2025 at 1:43 PM
“Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time, we created a lot of value for the shareholders”
How the hell do babies bounce on their knees and butts like rubber? It physically hurts to bend, but these little shits are doing their best pogo impression to mock me.
November 7, 2025 at 12:48 AM
How the hell do babies bounce on their knees and butts like rubber? It physically hurts to bend, but these little shits are doing their best pogo impression to mock me.
Going out like Micheal Douglas... death by pussy 😤
November 6, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Going out like Micheal Douglas... death by pussy 😤
Alright, good luck this week, my American buds! I don't know what's coming this week, but it's probably more of the same.
November 2, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Alright, good luck this week, my American buds! I don't know what's coming this week, but it's probably more of the same.
I love my baby girls, but they never let us rest. "Dada... Dada... look, Dada! Look, Dada! Look! Dada! Dada!" I finally answer after trying to nap, "yes, Riley?" This little shit just giggled and ran away.
November 1, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I love my baby girls, but they never let us rest. "Dada... Dada... look, Dada! Look, Dada! Look! Dada! Dada!" I finally answer after trying to nap, "yes, Riley?" This little shit just giggled and ran away.
Happy Halloween! Today, our little one is trick or treating for the first time, and the twins' very first costumes as pumpkins. It ain't our fault their bellies are chubby and perfect pumpkin shape, and their big sister was a pumpkin last year, too, so...
October 31, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Happy Halloween! Today, our little one is trick or treating for the first time, and the twins' very first costumes as pumpkins. It ain't our fault their bellies are chubby and perfect pumpkin shape, and their big sister was a pumpkin last year, too, so...
Our little girl was so happy to be a spider for her daycare thing they're doing. That cheap and goofy looking costume made her so happy, and I don't know know what I felt at that moment. It's a good feeling, though. Like a wish came through kinda deal, and I helped.
October 30, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Our little girl was so happy to be a spider for her daycare thing they're doing. That cheap and goofy looking costume made her so happy, and I don't know know what I felt at that moment. It's a good feeling, though. Like a wish came through kinda deal, and I helped.
Stayed up most of the night, making a spider costume for our daughter. They didn't have "just a spider" because it was all man. I hope she's happy with it. My dad never did anything like this for me so wtf.
October 30, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Stayed up most of the night, making a spider costume for our daughter. They didn't have "just a spider" because it was all man. I hope she's happy with it. My dad never did anything like this for me so wtf.
Dude, I don't understand twin behavior. Our girls will just sit on their chubby butts, stare into each other, giggle, and repeat. Do twins have telepathy or something? They making fun of me?
October 28, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Dude, I don't understand twin behavior. Our girls will just sit on their chubby butts, stare into each other, giggle, and repeat. Do twins have telepathy or something? They making fun of me?
"Dada, I be spider for howwoween!" Spiderman? Man spider? No, she just wants to be a spider. Children are the cutest, honestly, mine especially. 😤
October 26, 2025 at 1:16 PM
"Dada, I be spider for howwoween!" Spiderman? Man spider? No, she just wants to be a spider. Children are the cutest, honestly, mine especially. 😤
How are the American peeps doing this week? Ya made it to Friday! Congratulations on another week of living in decline!
October 24, 2025 at 1:34 PM
How are the American peeps doing this week? Ya made it to Friday! Congratulations on another week of living in decline!
Walking around with a toddler is being a tour guide 24/7. "Dadda what is door red for? Dadda look there! Dadda what is that? Dadda can I eat this obviously dangerous thing I found on the ground that will 100% kill me because I'm a big baby." You know, that stuff.
October 23, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Walking around with a toddler is being a tour guide 24/7. "Dadda what is door red for? Dadda look there! Dadda what is that? Dadda can I eat this obviously dangerous thing I found on the ground that will 100% kill me because I'm a big baby." You know, that stuff.
I made a joke about lions to my daughter. Took some pride in it.
October 22, 2025 at 1:21 PM
I made a joke about lions to my daughter. Took some pride in it.
Our kids were so hyper last night, and they zonked out hard early. We got to relax together and finally enjoy our night. Dude, it was great! We watched a movie we wanted, ate some leftovers in bed, and got in a quick 69 session followed by cuddling. Felt like when we were dating again. Was v cool!
October 21, 2025 at 8:34 AM
Our kids were so hyper last night, and they zonked out hard early. We got to relax together and finally enjoy our night. Dude, it was great! We watched a movie we wanted, ate some leftovers in bed, and got in a quick 69 session followed by cuddling. Felt like when we were dating again. Was v cool!
I'm a simple man. Give me a bag of glue and a can of cat food, and I am happy all day.
October 20, 2025 at 11:30 PM
I'm a simple man. Give me a bag of glue and a can of cat food, and I am happy all day.
Posting poopie vids to the internet like I'm presidential
October 20, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Posting poopie vids to the internet like I'm presidential
So, does like Arby's exist in The Matrix? Food isn't real, so they don't have the meats, right?
October 18, 2025 at 11:02 PM
So, does like Arby's exist in The Matrix? Food isn't real, so they don't have the meats, right?
2 girls 1 cup was essentially a lesson on sharing if you think about it
October 18, 2025 at 3:07 AM
2 girls 1 cup was essentially a lesson on sharing if you think about it