OnlyCans
@onlycans.bsky.social
local milf driven half mad by an accumulation of text and images
Pinned
Donate to Running a Marathon for Robyn and Dee's Trans Healthcare, organized by Sophie Cee
Hi, I'm Sophie. On the 7th of December I'll be running 26.2 miles i… Sophie Cee needs your support for Running a Marathon for Robyn and Dee's Trans Healthcare
gofund.me
I'm running the Valencia marathon in 6 weeks and i've decided to use the occasion to help boost the trans healthcare fundraisers of legends @deeboom.bsky.social and @sapphicalui.bsky.social
Any amount of money and any shares massively appreciated 🙏🖤❤️ Ty Ty
gofund.me/24190224a
Any amount of money and any shares massively appreciated 🙏🖤❤️ Ty Ty
gofund.me/24190224a
i did exactly as much respect as this today. i hope you did too 📯
November 11, 2025 at 11:41 AM
i did exactly as much respect as this today. i hope you did too 📯
ah, welcome back 007. you're probably wondering what manner of contraption you find yourself in. i like to call it a "pronoun circle". it's a fascinating device. one by one the participants go around the room and ... well you'll see... goodnight mx bond.
November 11, 2025 at 11:22 AM
ah, welcome back 007. you're probably wondering what manner of contraption you find yourself in. i like to call it a "pronoun circle". it's a fascinating device. one by one the participants go around the room and ... well you'll see... goodnight mx bond.
hi writer here, you can just have him walk out some mist, turn to camera, wink and say, "mist me much??" *bam* theme tune starts. rest writes itself. one million pounds please.
James Bond’s death in No Time to Die is causing a nightmare for the next film. Writers are stuck because Bond “was blown to pieces.”
Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:
“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."
radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:
“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."
radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
November 11, 2025 at 10:56 AM
hi writer here, you can just have him walk out some mist, turn to camera, wink and say, "mist me much??" *bam* theme tune starts. rest writes itself. one million pounds please.
so I went to the zoo yesterday... there was a ciabatta in one of the cages ... when I asked the zookeeper what was going on he replied .... that ... it ... was... bread ... in .... captivity 🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️
November 11, 2025 at 10:52 AM
so I went to the zoo yesterday... there was a ciabatta in one of the cages ... when I asked the zookeeper what was going on he replied .... that ... it ... was... bread ... in .... captivity 🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️🏄♀️
I am so sick and my nbife is even sicker. just been lying in a plague pit for days with an ever growing pile of tissues. occasionally I get up to sweat round the park and empty the dog. I am absolutely putrid. rotten. stinking.
November 10, 2025 at 10:32 PM
I am so sick and my nbife is even sicker. just been lying in a plague pit for days with an ever growing pile of tissues. occasionally I get up to sweat round the park and empty the dog. I am absolutely putrid. rotten. stinking.
Reposted by OnlyCans
Reposted by OnlyCans
Despite it's seductions, there are very few that can post well while drunk, and in fact the only certified members of the drunk posters pantheon are Wayne Rooney, pre-media lock-out Rhihanna, and Drew Carey at The Sphere (only then)
speed is the posters' drug. all other drugs lead only to the impairment of posting: derangements, meandering thought, empty merriments, heretical texts. only speed allows us the clarity of thought to see the truth e.g the existence of gaz top implies the existence of a submissive, gaz bottom.
November 10, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Despite it's seductions, there are very few that can post well while drunk, and in fact the only certified members of the drunk posters pantheon are Wayne Rooney, pre-media lock-out Rhihanna, and Drew Carey at The Sphere (only then)
not actually sure how the BBC could get *more* transphobic, but i guess we're about to find out.
November 10, 2025 at 12:26 PM
not actually sure how the BBC could get *more* transphobic, but i guess we're about to find out.
Reposted by OnlyCans
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.
speed is the posters' drug. all other drugs lead only to the impairment of posting: derangements, meandering thought, empty merriments, heretical texts. only speed allows us the clarity of thought to see the truth e.g the existence of gaz top implies the existence of a submissive, gaz bottom.
November 10, 2025 at 10:45 AM
speed is the posters' drug. all other drugs lead only to the impairment of posting: derangements, meandering thought, empty merriments, heretical texts. only speed allows us the clarity of thought to see the truth e.g the existence of gaz top implies the existence of a submissive, gaz bottom.
mods asleep, post biblically accurate owlbear
November 10, 2025 at 9:56 AM
mods asleep, post biblically accurate owlbear
they're lifting A NEW BRIDGE over the river trent tomorrow and they're using EUROPE'S LARGEST CRANE to do it. i'm gonna take sick day and try not to end up on some kind of giant crane jumbotron.
November 9, 2025 at 7:34 PM
they're lifting A NEW BRIDGE over the river trent tomorrow and they're using EUROPE'S LARGEST CRANE to do it. i'm gonna take sick day and try not to end up on some kind of giant crane jumbotron.
not my dog begging me to have a sip of my science in sport isotonic running gel.
November 9, 2025 at 1:44 PM
not my dog begging me to have a sip of my science in sport isotonic running gel.
doing a three minutes silence. the extra minute is for all the flags that died. you'd do it too if you gave a shit. flag hater.
November 9, 2025 at 1:12 PM
doing a three minutes silence. the extra minute is for all the flags that died. you'd do it too if you gave a shit. flag hater.
my next door neighbour when i was growing up was a semi-legendary 1970s scottish football player, so i grew up thinking being a pro athlete was about mainly shuffling about your driveway in a dressing gown, drinking a scotch whilst smoking your way through a packet of benson and hedges.
November 9, 2025 at 1:00 PM
my next door neighbour when i was growing up was a semi-legendary 1970s scottish football player, so i grew up thinking being a pro athlete was about mainly shuffling about your driveway in a dressing gown, drinking a scotch whilst smoking your way through a packet of benson and hedges.
gender? I hardly knew her
November 9, 2025 at 11:25 AM
gender? I hardly knew her
Reposted by OnlyCans
had too many beers last night and now i have to run 18 miles. current emotional state: cried in the shower imagining myself as a member of a herd of wild horses.
November 9, 2025 at 10:52 AM
had too many beers last night and now i have to run 18 miles. current emotional state: cried in the shower imagining myself as a member of a herd of wild horses.
help part of me wants a KFC double down burger even though i know it will be abysmal.
November 8, 2025 at 4:57 PM
help part of me wants a KFC double down burger even though i know it will be abysmal.
where's your poppy, horse? oh sorry, my bad, there it is @remembrancewatch.bsky.social
November 8, 2025 at 3:54 PM
where's your poppy, horse? oh sorry, my bad, there it is @remembrancewatch.bsky.social
Reposted by OnlyCans
Oh shit I'm gonna be getting vocal surgery one month today 😬😬😬
If anyone feels able you can contribute to my fundraiser to help me over the line paying for the procedure
Please donate or share if you can
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
chuffed.org/project/131234
If anyone feels able you can contribute to my fundraiser to help me over the line paying for the procedure
Please donate or share if you can
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
chuffed.org/project/131234
Help Dee Get Her Gender Affirming Surgeries 🌈🏳️⚧️
Hi, I'm Talyn, a good friend of Dee's and I want to get her at least off to a good start fulfilling her dream of getting gender affirming surgeries.
chuffed.org
November 8, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Oh shit I'm gonna be getting vocal surgery one month today 😬😬😬
If anyone feels able you can contribute to my fundraiser to help me over the line paying for the procedure
Please donate or share if you can
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
chuffed.org/project/131234
If anyone feels able you can contribute to my fundraiser to help me over the line paying for the procedure
Please donate or share if you can
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
chuffed.org/project/131234
when you ban dogs from your zine fair, this is who you're banning 😤
November 8, 2025 at 12:04 PM
when you ban dogs from your zine fair, this is who you're banning 😤
What looks like a trap, and is actually a trap?
November 8, 2025 at 11:38 AM
What looks like a trap, and is actually a trap?
I'm not ashamed to say it, I've come full circle on one the most divisive political issues of our times. dogs *should* be allowed at zine fairs.
November 8, 2025 at 10:54 AM
I'm not ashamed to say it, I've come full circle on one the most divisive political issues of our times. dogs *should* be allowed at zine fairs.