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ohhthatmatt.bsky.social
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@ohhthatmatt.bsky.social
If the insomnia wasn't enough I just got a coat rack and now it looks like my dead Uncle Bob's hanging out in the corner of my room
February 15, 2026 at 9:34 AM
I would've taken a date night selfie but her parole officer was acting weird
February 15, 2026 at 8:02 AM
If y'all have AMC plus go check out Tales from the Rez. It's an anthology series of horror-comedy shorts from Blackfoot Nation films. Definitely worth a watch
February 15, 2026 at 6:44 AM
Don't forget to tip the person at the front counter so they don't yell out heart shaped pizza for one
February 14, 2026 at 7:01 AM
Friday the 13th and then Valentine's?! This weekend has something for everyone
February 13, 2026 at 7:52 AM
*puts burritos on my vision board*
February 12, 2026 at 9:24 AM
I hope Pam Bondi steps in dog poo
February 12, 2026 at 7:41 AM
I use my drafts to write love letters to the administrators that are trying to steal my jokes
February 11, 2026 at 7:50 AM
Only 5 more weeks til jorts season 🥳
February 10, 2026 at 9:22 AM
Okay how about a paranormal show to explore why they ghosted us
February 10, 2026 at 8:41 AM
Oh no. Shut out on social media again. Time to cry myself to sleep
February 10, 2026 at 8:03 AM
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i can't think of anymore posts, so i'm using my draft folder for my shopping list.
February 10, 2026 at 4:22 AM
BREAKING: Saliva tried to kill me in my sleep again
February 9, 2026 at 5:55 PM
Y'all won't believe this but I just saw someone being creepy on the internet (not me)
February 9, 2026 at 8:17 AM
Like some women put their hand over their cleavage when they bend down, I do the same thing, but with butt crack
February 9, 2026 at 6:40 AM
Well I anti halftimed their anti halftime by forgetting what we're talking about, oh yeah, Nazis, fuck them
February 9, 2026 at 5:35 AM
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All gods children are terrible
i just don’t think we’re going to ever have The Most Ethical social media platform and should get used to the idea that all social media is made by bad people. it’s for bad people who do bad things (post).
February 8, 2026 at 9:24 PM
If this isn't proof then I don't what is
February 8, 2026 at 8:02 AM
Set obtainable goals for yourself,

Like getting kicked out of the super bowl party for eating all the wings
February 8, 2026 at 7:16 AM
The calm app works for the devil. I'll have proof in the morning
February 7, 2026 at 9:48 AM
So fri yay isn't just a French fry reference?
February 7, 2026 at 8:12 AM
I put my face on for this?! (Drinking beer and mindlessly scrolling the internet)
February 7, 2026 at 7:03 AM
Forget flowers I've been saving up for some Valentine's jerky
February 6, 2026 at 8:55 AM