OGfattcatt
@ogfattcatt.bsky.social
King of the Lowbies | The Arby’s of Shitposters | Hot, for all you know
He/Him
He/Him
Post a bird to support @sbworkersunited.org and warn your followers not to buy Starbucks for the duration of the strike 🪶
November 14, 2025 at 5:43 AM
Post a bird to support @sbworkersunited.org and warn your followers not to buy Starbucks for the duration of the strike 🪶
If we’re going to keep making shows about the Kardashians can we at least make them do something other than sit around being rich and shitty to each other?
Make them solve mysteries or renovate an old farmhouse or hunt down Bigfoot. I’d watch that.
Make them solve mysteries or renovate an old farmhouse or hunt down Bigfoot. I’d watch that.
November 14, 2025 at 5:39 AM
If we’re going to keep making shows about the Kardashians can we at least make them do something other than sit around being rich and shitty to each other?
Make them solve mysteries or renovate an old farmhouse or hunt down Bigfoot. I’d watch that.
Make them solve mysteries or renovate an old farmhouse or hunt down Bigfoot. I’d watch that.
Me: “I hate that we lose certain things as we grow up.”
Friend: “I know man. I watch my kids play with legos and remember how creative my brain used to be, and honestly, idk if I can ever get back to that.”
Me: “I mean like the ability to scream and puke in public and have it be acceptable.”
Friend: “I know man. I watch my kids play with legos and remember how creative my brain used to be, and honestly, idk if I can ever get back to that.”
Me: “I mean like the ability to scream and puke in public and have it be acceptable.”
November 14, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Me: “I hate that we lose certain things as we grow up.”
Friend: “I know man. I watch my kids play with legos and remember how creative my brain used to be, and honestly, idk if I can ever get back to that.”
Me: “I mean like the ability to scream and puke in public and have it be acceptable.”
Friend: “I know man. I watch my kids play with legos and remember how creative my brain used to be, and honestly, idk if I can ever get back to that.”
Me: “I mean like the ability to scream and puke in public and have it be acceptable.”
Jerking off into the Ancestry dot com master maintain so it says I’m related to everyone, thereby incurring countless more Christmas presents
November 14, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Jerking off into the Ancestry dot com master maintain so it says I’m related to everyone, thereby incurring countless more Christmas presents
We won our first major city planning commission victory to expand treatment services for our rehab center!
The NIMBYs really pulled out all the stops. One even posed as a former employee and made up stories about how unsafe the facility was.
The look on their faces when we won lol
The NIMBYs really pulled out all the stops. One even posed as a former employee and made up stories about how unsafe the facility was.
The look on their faces when we won lol
November 14, 2025 at 5:13 AM
We won our first major city planning commission victory to expand treatment services for our rehab center!
The NIMBYs really pulled out all the stops. One even posed as a former employee and made up stories about how unsafe the facility was.
The look on their faces when we won lol
The NIMBYs really pulled out all the stops. One even posed as a former employee and made up stories about how unsafe the facility was.
The look on their faces when we won lol
Arriving in hell: “ok, where do I go?”
Devil: “just anywhere… roam around. It’s all hell.”
Me: “no, no, no. I’ve been told my whole life there was a ‘special place’ in here for me.”
Devil: “that’s just sort of an expression people say.”
Me: “…I need to see your manager, please… right now.”
Devil: “just anywhere… roam around. It’s all hell.”
Me: “no, no, no. I’ve been told my whole life there was a ‘special place’ in here for me.”
Devil: “that’s just sort of an expression people say.”
Me: “…I need to see your manager, please… right now.”
November 13, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Arriving in hell: “ok, where do I go?”
Devil: “just anywhere… roam around. It’s all hell.”
Me: “no, no, no. I’ve been told my whole life there was a ‘special place’ in here for me.”
Devil: “that’s just sort of an expression people say.”
Me: “…I need to see your manager, please… right now.”
Devil: “just anywhere… roam around. It’s all hell.”
Me: “no, no, no. I’ve been told my whole life there was a ‘special place’ in here for me.”
Devil: “that’s just sort of an expression people say.”
Me: “…I need to see your manager, please… right now.”
If I could fly a plane I would be the only commercial pilot ever suspended by the FAA for saying “we’re not in Kansas anymore” every time I flew out of Kansas airspace.
November 13, 2025 at 7:54 AM
If I could fly a plane I would be the only commercial pilot ever suspended by the FAA for saying “we’re not in Kansas anymore” every time I flew out of Kansas airspace.
Hot take: You don’t want to be rich
You want to be safe
You want to not worry that every decision you make may ruin you financially
You want room to explore your creativity without the need to monetize the outcome
Capitalism has programmed you to believe wealth is the only path to these things
You want to be safe
You want to not worry that every decision you make may ruin you financially
You want room to explore your creativity without the need to monetize the outcome
Capitalism has programmed you to believe wealth is the only path to these things
November 13, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Hot take: You don’t want to be rich
You want to be safe
You want to not worry that every decision you make may ruin you financially
You want room to explore your creativity without the need to monetize the outcome
Capitalism has programmed you to believe wealth is the only path to these things
You want to be safe
You want to not worry that every decision you make may ruin you financially
You want room to explore your creativity without the need to monetize the outcome
Capitalism has programmed you to believe wealth is the only path to these things
Business idea: drive in-puppet show
Basically you just pull into a parking lot and I crouch down by your driver’s side door and do like a little puppet show in the window for you.
Maybe the puppet show is erotic? Idk, I don’t have it all dialed in yet but the bones are there.
The bones are there.
Basically you just pull into a parking lot and I crouch down by your driver’s side door and do like a little puppet show in the window for you.
Maybe the puppet show is erotic? Idk, I don’t have it all dialed in yet but the bones are there.
The bones are there.
November 13, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Business idea: drive in-puppet show
Basically you just pull into a parking lot and I crouch down by your driver’s side door and do like a little puppet show in the window for you.
Maybe the puppet show is erotic? Idk, I don’t have it all dialed in yet but the bones are there.
The bones are there.
Basically you just pull into a parking lot and I crouch down by your driver’s side door and do like a little puppet show in the window for you.
Maybe the puppet show is erotic? Idk, I don’t have it all dialed in yet but the bones are there.
The bones are there.
Anime MC: *works hard, pushes themselves to breaking point, surpasses their rivals - gets kick ass magic fighting powers & becomes friends with a dragon or some shit.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
November 10, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Anime MC: *works hard, pushes themselves to breaking point, surpasses their rivals - gets kick ass magic fighting powers & becomes friends with a dragon or some shit.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
Kelloggs marketer: “ok guys, how are we gonna get folks jazzed about this new cereal? What flavors can we can highli-“
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
November 7, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Kelloggs marketer: “ok guys, how are we gonna get folks jazzed about this new cereal? What flavors can we can highli-“
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
Doing that cool thing baristas do where they run their espresso drip over a little chocolate puck so it all melts into the coffee except with a babybel cheese
November 5, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Doing that cool thing baristas do where they run their espresso drip over a little chocolate puck so it all melts into the coffee except with a babybel cheese
When you use a public toilet and shit on top of someone else’s shit that’s called a New Jersey Haberdasher
November 4, 2025 at 10:33 PM
When you use a public toilet and shit on top of someone else’s shit that’s called a New Jersey Haberdasher
From the Vatican: “someone accidentally shot God in the face.”
November 4, 2025 at 7:52 PM
From the Vatican: “someone accidentally shot God in the face.”
God: “look at these lil guys I made… ha ha.. look at em running around and making little civilizations and whatnot. What a bunch of goobers…”
Angel: “yes sir. They’re very cute. Good work, as always.”
God: “…im gonna give a bunch of em cancer.”
Angel: [visibly nervous] “y-yes sir, very good sir.”
Angel: “yes sir. They’re very cute. Good work, as always.”
God: “…im gonna give a bunch of em cancer.”
Angel: [visibly nervous] “y-yes sir, very good sir.”
November 4, 2025 at 7:50 PM
God: “look at these lil guys I made… ha ha.. look at em running around and making little civilizations and whatnot. What a bunch of goobers…”
Angel: “yes sir. They’re very cute. Good work, as always.”
God: “…im gonna give a bunch of em cancer.”
Angel: [visibly nervous] “y-yes sir, very good sir.”
Angel: “yes sir. They’re very cute. Good work, as always.”
God: “…im gonna give a bunch of em cancer.”
Angel: [visibly nervous] “y-yes sir, very good sir.”
Wish me luck ya’ll. Bout to go do battle with the NIMBY hoard to expand SUD services in an area that just barely butts up against an affluent retirement community.
The kicker is we’ve already been operating there for 3 years with no issues and just want to add a couple more beds but they’re PISSED.
The kicker is we’ve already been operating there for 3 years with no issues and just want to add a couple more beds but they’re PISSED.
November 3, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Wish me luck ya’ll. Bout to go do battle with the NIMBY hoard to expand SUD services in an area that just barely butts up against an affluent retirement community.
The kicker is we’ve already been operating there for 3 years with no issues and just want to add a couple more beds but they’re PISSED.
The kicker is we’ve already been operating there for 3 years with no issues and just want to add a couple more beds but they’re PISSED.
Quote of the day: “I’ve never bought a Snuggie for someone I respected”
November 3, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Quote of the day: “I’ve never bought a Snuggie for someone I respected”
The lady cutting my hair had a mental health crisis mid haircut.
She cut me twice, then cut herself, dropped a bunch of combs and shouted “this is all too much!” Before running off to the back.
She returned 5 min later and said I was all done which… no, I def was not….
She cut me twice, then cut herself, dropped a bunch of combs and shouted “this is all too much!” Before running off to the back.
She returned 5 min later and said I was all done which… no, I def was not….
November 3, 2025 at 2:57 AM
The lady cutting my hair had a mental health crisis mid haircut.
She cut me twice, then cut herself, dropped a bunch of combs and shouted “this is all too much!” Before running off to the back.
She returned 5 min later and said I was all done which… no, I def was not….
She cut me twice, then cut herself, dropped a bunch of combs and shouted “this is all too much!” Before running off to the back.
She returned 5 min later and said I was all done which… no, I def was not….
I think a lot of us have hidden talents that even we ourselves will never know about because the circumstances that would reveal them are extremely unlikely to occur.
Like, for example, I think I’d be super good at making genie wishes without leaving myself open for dark ironic consequences.
Like, for example, I think I’d be super good at making genie wishes without leaving myself open for dark ironic consequences.
November 2, 2025 at 6:05 AM
I think a lot of us have hidden talents that even we ourselves will never know about because the circumstances that would reveal them are extremely unlikely to occur.
Like, for example, I think I’d be super good at making genie wishes without leaving myself open for dark ironic consequences.
Like, for example, I think I’d be super good at making genie wishes without leaving myself open for dark ironic consequences.
Cool: we had at least 2 families walk away from our doorstep like “we remember you guys from last year! Coolest house in town!”
Not cool: so far trick’r treat traffic is way down from last year and I am gettin real worried bc I got like 90 full size candy bars to give away or I WILL eat them all
Not cool: so far trick’r treat traffic is way down from last year and I am gettin real worried bc I got like 90 full size candy bars to give away or I WILL eat them all
November 1, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Cool: we had at least 2 families walk away from our doorstep like “we remember you guys from last year! Coolest house in town!”
Not cool: so far trick’r treat traffic is way down from last year and I am gettin real worried bc I got like 90 full size candy bars to give away or I WILL eat them all
Not cool: so far trick’r treat traffic is way down from last year and I am gettin real worried bc I got like 90 full size candy bars to give away or I WILL eat them all
Treats for kids and parents!
If we are ever unable to be the “full sized bars” house on Halloween, only then, are we truly poor.
If we are ever unable to be the “full sized bars” house on Halloween, only then, are we truly poor.
November 1, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Treats for kids and parents!
If we are ever unable to be the “full sized bars” house on Halloween, only then, are we truly poor.
If we are ever unable to be the “full sized bars” house on Halloween, only then, are we truly poor.
“Hang on babe, gettin a shot of my drink for the gram…”
*send*
My grandma: “yooo, that shit 🔥🔥🔥”
Me: “love you Gram. Keep it 💯”
*send*
My grandma: “yooo, that shit 🔥🔥🔥”
Me: “love you Gram. Keep it 💯”
November 1, 2025 at 1:34 AM
“Hang on babe, gettin a shot of my drink for the gram…”
*send*
My grandma: “yooo, that shit 🔥🔥🔥”
Me: “love you Gram. Keep it 💯”
*send*
My grandma: “yooo, that shit 🔥🔥🔥”
Me: “love you Gram. Keep it 💯”
The FDA has approved my feed to contain no more than 0.2% bangers by volume.
That joke would be a lot funnier if there was still an FDA…
That joke would be a lot funnier if there was still an FDA…
October 30, 2025 at 3:26 PM
The FDA has approved my feed to contain no more than 0.2% bangers by volume.
That joke would be a lot funnier if there was still an FDA…
That joke would be a lot funnier if there was still an FDA…
Haughtily referring to anyone who prefers dildos to vibrators as a “Luddite”
October 30, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Haughtily referring to anyone who prefers dildos to vibrators as a “Luddite”
You could 100% make male birth control popular and widely adopted but it would have to have a fun secondary side effect like making your ejaculate glow in the dark or making your dick do like a slide whistle noise when you cum.
October 30, 2025 at 4:56 AM
You could 100% make male birth control popular and widely adopted but it would have to have a fun secondary side effect like making your ejaculate glow in the dark or making your dick do like a slide whistle noise when you cum.