Nury Vittachi Parody
@nuryvittachiparody.bsky.social
Parody account of the world’s worst ‘journalist’. Second-hand BREAKING NEWS about the US, through the lens of a compromised jackass. Keeping me honest feels like Mondayeveryday.
Here I make the ludicrous statement that ‘the foundation of the UK rule of law comes from the scientific method’. It takes someone special like me, a walking talking Dunning Kruger effect, to so confidently state something so fundamentally incorrect (to a woman of course). 1/2
September 2, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Here I make the ludicrous statement that ‘the foundation of the UK rule of law comes from the scientific method’. It takes someone special like me, a walking talking Dunning Kruger effect, to so confidently state something so fundamentally incorrect (to a woman of course). 1/2
Listen to me say 回. Mispronounced Chinese!
September 2, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Listen to me say 回. Mispronounced Chinese!
It’s Shenzhen’s 45th birthday! Do I make the short trip up to visit this city I heap praise upon, and make my piece there? Nah, can’t be bothered. Instead I carelessly throw some stock footage and awkward superlatives together and call it a ‘report’. Song nim fire lock Shenjim!
September 1, 2025 at 12:17 AM
It’s Shenzhen’s 45th birthday! Do I make the short trip up to visit this city I heap praise upon, and make my piece there? Nah, can’t be bothered. Instead I carelessly throw some stock footage and awkward superlatives together and call it a ‘report’. Song nim fire lock Shenjim!
This recent piece of mine has forced another game of Nury Vittachi Bingo with a record five squares in one awful article!
I start this garbage with news from Gaza, and then clumsily segue into a story from six years ago, earning us a “2019 Riots” Non Sequitur.
I start this garbage with news from Gaza, and then clumsily segue into a story from six years ago, earning us a “2019 Riots” Non Sequitur.
August 31, 2025 at 11:01 AM
This recent piece of mine has forced another game of Nury Vittachi Bingo with a record five squares in one awful article!
I start this garbage with news from Gaza, and then clumsily segue into a story from six years ago, earning us a “2019 Riots” Non Sequitur.
I start this garbage with news from Gaza, and then clumsily segue into a story from six years ago, earning us a “2019 Riots” Non Sequitur.
I add an unnecessary red circle to a graph I stole from evil western media, and call myself a journalist! This Chartjunk gives us another square, and a BINGO!! Thanks for playing everyone!
May 14, 2025 at 5:50 AM
I add an unnecessary red circle to a graph I stole from evil western media, and call myself a journalist! This Chartjunk gives us another square, and a BINGO!! Thanks for playing everyone!
Western media is all lies! Except when I agree with them. Then they can be used for confirmation!
May 14, 2025 at 5:47 AM
Western media is all lies! Except when I agree with them. Then they can be used for confirmation!
Andy Boreham is like one of five people left in Asia that has any respect for me.
May 12, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Andy Boreham is like one of five people left in Asia that has any respect for me.
Here I take the civilised and mature path of discounting criticism by attacking the source for not having many followers. This is Argumentem ad Populum, and it gets us a square for Logical Fallacy!
May 12, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Here I take the civilised and mature path of discounting criticism by attacking the source for not having many followers. This is Argumentem ad Populum, and it gets us a square for Logical Fallacy!
Using a synecdoche like “The Chinese” is horrible journalism and just plain tone deaf. I say I offer ‘News of Asia without the Western lens’, yet I constantly reinforce the otherness of people on China with my antiquated language. Three squares from one crappy video!
May 12, 2025 at 4:32 AM
Using a synecdoche like “The Chinese” is horrible journalism and just plain tone deaf. I say I offer ‘News of Asia without the Western lens’, yet I constantly reinforce the otherness of people on China with my antiquated language. Three squares from one crappy video!
I’ve horseshoed my way into praising christo-fascist scumbags Heritage Foundation. Pretty disgusting to see me cozying up to the white supremacists.
May 12, 2025 at 4:29 AM
I’ve horseshoed my way into praising christo-fascist scumbags Heritage Foundation. Pretty disgusting to see me cozying up to the white supremacists.
What the hell is going on in the background here? Like what is it even supposed to be?
May 12, 2025 at 4:27 AM
What the hell is going on in the background here? Like what is it even supposed to be?
Shenzhen is a magical place showcasing China’s role as tech innovator. It’s such a great city that I never visit myself, despite it being an hour’s journey from my house. I prefer the western comforts of Hong Kong, and I’ve not learned any Chinese despite 45 years living here. /
May 11, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Shenzhen is a magical place showcasing China’s role as tech innovator. It’s such a great city that I never visit myself, despite it being an hour’s journey from my house. I prefer the western comforts of Hong Kong, and I’ve not learned any Chinese despite 45 years living here. /
People are mad at Russia for invading their neighbour. But have they ever listened to Tchaikovsky or read Dostoyevsky? Checkmate.
May 11, 2025 at 5:59 AM
People are mad at Russia for invading their neighbour. But have they ever listened to Tchaikovsky or read Dostoyevsky? Checkmate.
Oversized cards, players showing each other their cards, a sloppy array of ten face-up cards, and no money in play. I definitely understand poker.
May 11, 2025 at 5:58 AM
Oversized cards, players showing each other their cards, a sloppy array of ten face-up cards, and no money in play. I definitely understand poker.
When there are protests in Taiwan, I lose my mind. When there are protests in mainland, I I admonish media that covers it. This Glaring Contradiction gets us started on a new round of Nury Vittachi Bingo!
May 10, 2025 at 8:39 AM
When there are protests in Taiwan, I lose my mind. When there are protests in mainland, I I admonish media that covers it. This Glaring Contradiction gets us started on a new round of Nury Vittachi Bingo!
‘Many people say’ that I am a hack with zero journalistic integrity.
April 30, 2025 at 1:42 AM
‘Many people say’ that I am a hack with zero journalistic integrity.
To baselessly call the DPP ‘wildly unpopular’ when they won an election 15 months ago is atrocious journalism. To call the DPP a ‘wildly unpopular Washington-allied’ group twice in the span of three sentences is awful writing. I’m a horrible journalist and an even worse writer.
April 20, 2025 at 4:26 AM
To baselessly call the DPP ‘wildly unpopular’ when they won an election 15 months ago is atrocious journalism. To call the DPP a ‘wildly unpopular Washington-allied’ group twice in the span of three sentences is awful writing. I’m a horrible journalist and an even worse writer.
Never mind that both the people are wearing matching blue hats for some reason. Why are there thirteen fingers in the handshake? More AI slop from the world’s sloppiest journalist.
April 12, 2025 at 7:56 AM
Never mind that both the people are wearing matching blue hats for some reason. Why are there thirteen fingers in the handshake? More AI slop from the world’s sloppiest journalist.
My 2019 revisionism will continue to get more severe as time passes. Here I talk about incident with 1000 petrol bombs, but don’t provide the date or better yet, a contemporaneous article of mine (like a real journalist would). Nor do I provide a video of John Tse saying ‘don’t do that again lads’
April 6, 2025 at 8:16 AM
My 2019 revisionism will continue to get more severe as time passes. Here I talk about incident with 1000 petrol bombs, but don’t provide the date or better yet, a contemporaneous article of mine (like a real journalist would). Nor do I provide a video of John Tse saying ‘don’t do that again lads’
China’s customers are now mostly outside the US’ I say idiotically, as the US has never been a majority customer of China’s exports. The US has accounted for 15-25% of China’s exports for decades now. And…
April 5, 2025 at 8:49 AM
China’s customers are now mostly outside the US’ I say idiotically, as the US has never been a majority customer of China’s exports. The US has accounted for 15-25% of China’s exports for decades now. And…
Check out my video on the recent earthquake! At the 1:02 mark I conclude the video saying ‘More news to follow’. Then there is 32 seconds of darkness with faint audio from another earthquake video, followed by 25 seconds of darkness and dead silence. I’m quite the journalist huh?!?!
March 31, 2025 at 3:47 AM
Check out my video on the recent earthquake! At the 1:02 mark I conclude the video saying ‘More news to follow’. Then there is 32 seconds of darkness with faint audio from another earthquake video, followed by 25 seconds of darkness and dead silence. I’m quite the journalist huh?!?!
Happy New Year, or Sam Neen Fire Lock as we say! My resolution this year is to repeat the same abject lies of yesteryears! Here I say ‘mostly soldiers died’ in the 1989 thing, despite the fact that the Chinese gov has never ever made such a claim. An old lie for the new year from this snake!
January 31, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Happy New Year, or Sam Neen Fire Lock as we say! My resolution this year is to repeat the same abject lies of yesteryears! Here I say ‘mostly soldiers died’ in the 1989 thing, despite the fact that the Chinese gov has never ever made such a claim. An old lie for the new year from this snake!
The fact that AI is a non-count noun doesn’t stop me from having a robot say ‘I am an AI’, demonstrating what a great fundamental understanding I have on the topic. My hasty and excessive scattering of DeepSeek and Trump coverage will keep you just as informed as I am on world news!
January 29, 2025 at 5:50 AM
The fact that AI is a non-count noun doesn’t stop me from having a robot say ‘I am an AI’, demonstrating what a great fundamental understanding I have on the topic. My hasty and excessive scattering of DeepSeek and Trump coverage will keep you just as informed as I am on world news!
I often point out that US has just 4% of the world’s population yet it receives a ridiculously disproportionate amount of mAInsTrEAm MEdiA coverage. This is bad journalism, I say.
Then I proceed to make 94% (15/16) of my posts in a week about the US. Good job!
Then I proceed to make 94% (15/16) of my posts in a week about the US. Good job!
January 26, 2025 at 6:20 AM
I often point out that US has just 4% of the world’s population yet it receives a ridiculously disproportionate amount of mAInsTrEAm MEdiA coverage. This is bad journalism, I say.
Then I proceed to make 94% (15/16) of my posts in a week about the US. Good job!
Then I proceed to make 94% (15/16) of my posts in a week about the US. Good job!