Corporate said I can’t make a $160 million dollar entry without approval. So I will be making eight $20 million dollar entries to respect their wishes.
December 5, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Corporate said I can’t make a $160 million dollar entry without approval. So I will be making eight $20 million dollar entries to respect their wishes.
We should make a song that’s really awful and unlistenable - musicians every three albums
December 5, 2025 at 1:58 PM
We should make a song that’s really awful and unlistenable - musicians every three albums
Happy Friday to all who celebrate
November 26, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Happy Friday to all who celebrate
Work side quests suck nothing like the fantasy games. I emailed the wrong person and now I have 24hrs to make a presentation.
November 25, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Work side quests suck nothing like the fantasy games. I emailed the wrong person and now I have 24hrs to make a presentation.
I want a premium feature on the iPhone that I can make one of my contact’s phone randomly buzz without a notification. Willing to pay $10 per noto
November 24, 2025 at 8:19 PM
I want a premium feature on the iPhone that I can make one of my contact’s phone randomly buzz without a notification. Willing to pay $10 per noto
Reduce the amount of medication in a pill. I have better odds of remembering if I swallowed twelve pills this morning instead of one.
November 21, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Reduce the amount of medication in a pill. I have better odds of remembering if I swallowed twelve pills this morning instead of one.
New Wedding Vow: I will turn down any offer by Mr. Beast to get divorced no matter how large the sum of money
November 21, 2025 at 12:53 PM
New Wedding Vow: I will turn down any offer by Mr. Beast to get divorced no matter how large the sum of money
“International” House of Pancakes? Sounds like DEI to me IHOP
November 21, 2025 at 11:26 AM
“International” House of Pancakes? Sounds like DEI to me IHOP
Calling my boss by his full first, middle, and last name until he tells me to stop
November 20, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Calling my boss by his full first, middle, and last name until he tells me to stop
The hornets that occupy the stairwell are growing restless. Soon they will require a sacrifice of the flesh.
November 19, 2025 at 6:19 PM
The hornets that occupy the stairwell are growing restless. Soon they will require a sacrifice of the flesh.
Ranking Historical Authors by who would be intrigued by the OmegaVerse
November 18, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Ranking Historical Authors by who would be intrigued by the OmegaVerse
No Wonka, I want you to feel comfortable staying at my place but you can’t make it so my sink pours 7up without talking to me first.
November 14, 2025 at 3:15 PM
No Wonka, I want you to feel comfortable staying at my place but you can’t make it so my sink pours 7up without talking to me first.
Balance so good they started calling me the flamingo
November 13, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Balance so good they started calling me the flamingo
“Nancy Drew and the curious case of why is my company buying so many books? We do not sell books. I’ve never seen one in this building. Do we have a secret library under the west stair case? Everytime someone gets promoted do they get to buy a bunch of books for their new office?” - Only on Audible
November 13, 2025 at 9:19 PM
“Nancy Drew and the curious case of why is my company buying so many books? We do not sell books. I’ve never seen one in this building. Do we have a secret library under the west stair case? Everytime someone gets promoted do they get to buy a bunch of books for their new office?” - Only on Audible
If you have read receipts turned on for emails I will slash your tires.
November 6, 2025 at 3:42 PM
If you have read receipts turned on for emails I will slash your tires.
Me and the squad going up the mountain to look for some molehills
October 30, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Me and the squad going up the mountain to look for some molehills
Stereotypical couples argument in a movie but the guy who works on the railroad yells “I’m out there all the live long day”
October 28, 2025 at 11:42 AM
Stereotypical couples argument in a movie but the guy who works on the railroad yells “I’m out there all the live long day”
Yeah not to brag but I speak macaroni Latin and croissant French
October 23, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Yeah not to brag but I speak macaroni Latin and croissant French
Aliens coming to Earth and getting distracted by subway surfer videos
October 23, 2025 at 11:10 AM
Aliens coming to Earth and getting distracted by subway surfer videos
I don’t have a devil and angel on my shoulder I have many tiny incarnations of Nicholas cage
October 22, 2025 at 12:57 AM
I don’t have a devil and angel on my shoulder I have many tiny incarnations of Nicholas cage
Dropping “Huge News” in the group chat then immediately turning my phone off and going to bed
October 21, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Dropping “Huge News” in the group chat then immediately turning my phone off and going to bed
Trying to recapture that spark by throwing a fork in the office microwave
October 21, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Trying to recapture that spark by throwing a fork in the office microwave
Excel telling me a file I made might be dangerous. “Aw you think I’m capable of making a virus that’s so sweet”
October 17, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Excel telling me a file I made might be dangerous. “Aw you think I’m capable of making a virus that’s so sweet”
Officer I don’t know what to tell you. I think some Hooligan keeps putting expired tags on my car. Happened last year too.
October 16, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Officer I don’t know what to tell you. I think some Hooligan keeps putting expired tags on my car. Happened last year too.
I may not have haters but I do have a stomach and that thing fucking loathes me.
October 14, 2025 at 1:50 PM
I may not have haters but I do have a stomach and that thing fucking loathes me.