I actually do npt understand what are those mood swings. Did i just not care in the first place? Or do i have somekind of inbuilt clock that stops me from dooming and sets me back into euphory

All of my strawpage doodles have reached their receivers 🥳

Now i don't feel as hopeless a bit

what a poetic traumadump of a person who's essentially just yet another doomer reddit 4chan chud

sorry for shitting all over your feeds my followers

i just can't see getting rid of those traits. reflecting on myself and thinking about myself as the other person watching them from the same lens — it's clear, they should not exist. i should not exist. i don't believe in change, and that person is a hazard, so it has to be restrainted

all this snot, it's just a bottom barrel scrap of my opressive and capricious nature. literally if someone has differing opinion than mine i wish misery upon them, i literally want them to be deprived of rights

was probably deserved accounting the fact that apparently i didn't change since then if i still have grudge

that's why i wanted to contact them. i wanted to be shamed, i wanted to be harassed. i dunno whether it's bcuz i wanted to be a victim again or i genuinely wanted them to drive me to suicide

yesyesterday i had a thought of contacting an old acquaintance of my that i hate because as a teenager i was a complete annoying dumbfuck and got bullied for it (i've been brainrotted so thankfully (or not) i can't recall anything precisely from that time) by almost whole group in it

have you noticed the "good person"? that's yet another of my guilt tripping tactics to self-loath myself and push away any attempt at growing the fuck up

i straight up don't want to work on myself any tiny bit. i hoped that asking for psychotherapist's help would lend me a hand but it just revealed the obvious truth that i am just piece of shit and literally every good person is dealing with those issues on their own everyday without complaining

Can anyone tell me what's the fucking point of learning if i can't even do 4 × 4 and will actively cry and shit myself if someone attempts to teach me? wouldn't it be easier to get rid of such pests as me? than why shouldn't i just stay in this misery pit forever until i kms?

Ok, good, realizing how far i've fallen behind people of age has sent me a bit back in that doomscrolling mood again

I need this thing called cognitive-behavior therapy but that shit costs money

I thought they could provide it to me in my polyclinic for free since my status as somewhat disabled person gives me right for free psychological help but apparently they don't do that in here for some reason

TRYING TO SINCERELY EXPRESS MY FEELING WITHOUT SELF-DEPRECARING FOR THE SAKE OF VICTIM COMPLEX IS AGONIZING AND MAKES ME REALIZE HOW WORTHLESS MY LIFE IS

HOW TF AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE AND LEARN IF NOT JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT FRIENDSHIP IS BUT I STRAIGHT UP CAN'T SOCIALIZE

Yabusame Houlen

A

I forgot to upload another Marx creature
I don like them as much as the alien one (on my pfp) tho

Here's my authentication that i am infact a real person ig