The Ninja Comic
ninjacomic.bsky.social
The Ninja Comic
@ninjacomic.bsky.social
Formerly Stuffmybrosays (@Stuffmybrosays2) from the old place

Bad jokes mostly
Failed writer of books
I'm from "the time before"
I was searching for a new workout place and accidentally switched illuminati for pilates. Now I'm...

Fine. Everything is fine.

#joke #pilates #itsfine
November 11, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I love grilling squash on the barbecue. When you make the inevitable sacrifice to the gods of grilling, it's just squash. I don't really like eating squash.

#joke #bbq #squash
November 11, 2025 at 4:52 PM
My wife talked me into getting a facial. My pores were so tight, that when I actually broke a sweat, I looked like a patio mister in Vegas.

#joke #vegas #skincare
November 11, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Sometimes, using voice to text is a lot like how some people try to get past a language barrier. With each try they get louder, speak slower, and enunciate more. Usually they get the same result.

#joke #analogy #voicetotext
November 11, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Went to the bathroom and forgot my phone. I ended up relieving myself and coming straight back out like some kind of luddite.

#joke #firstworldproblems #cellphone
November 11, 2025 at 4:50 PM
A unicorn cyclops wouldn't work very well.

#joke #mythology #unicorn #cyclop
November 10, 2025 at 3:44 PM
I decided to try to hook up with some old army buddies. They had a weekend camping trip coming up and invited me along. When I got there, they were going to mix up some cocktails.

Pro tip: Molotov cocktails are not for drinking. I'm still missing an eyebrow.

#joke #protip
November 10, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Not a Blurb: This author perfectly executes your inner child, robbing you of joy and hope.

#joke #notablurb
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 PM
I'm starting to think that poke is just a sloppy way to eat sushi? Like somebody wanted sushi, but they were running late and had the ingredients just dumped into a bowl.

#joke #orisit #deconstuctedsushi
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Not a Blurb: This author defiantly blends themes like a cover band that mixes ska and easy listening.

#joke #notablurb
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 PM
I went to a furniture store and asked for a stool sample. Not a single person made a crude joke.

#joke #notajoke
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Imagine how infuriated a dung beetle would be if the only animals around were wombats.
November 8, 2025 at 5:43 AM
I wish people were more like trees. They provide shelter for animals, they're kinder to our environment, and once a year, everybody goes bald.

#joke #trees #environment #bald
November 7, 2025 at 3:54 PM
I set my 32 oz. Slurpee on a coaster. It spilled before it even got to the first loop.

#joke #slurpee #rollercoaster
November 7, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Back when my kid was young, whenever I took her to a new park, I would have her wear her vampire costume. Then, after a while, I'd yell at her, "Stop playing with your food!"

#joke #dadoftheyear #vampire
November 7, 2025 at 3:53 PM
When being accused of "eating all of the cookies," it does not help your case to shake a drippy ice cream spoon while saying, "You're not the boss of me!"

#joke
November 7, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Spoyalty - What your cat becomes if you always give them a bit of whatever you're eating.

#joke #newword #spoyalty #cat
November 7, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Me:
14yo:
Me: You're not dancing.
14yo: Neither are you.

Had to hit the Walgreens driver thru for some bacitracin.

#joke #burn
November 7, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Turns out that I'm not the only person that soap welds the small leftover soap bar to the new one.

#showerthoughts #lifehack
November 7, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Is it okay to make a joke right after a major disaster? It could be, if you were the first to die, just woke up in hell, and are trying to make the best of it.

#joke #toosoon #hell #showerthoughts
November 7, 2025 at 3:39 PM
The yearly physical, the appointment that turns adults into ashamed 5 year olds admitting to painting the cat.

#joke #doctor #exam #physical
November 6, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Toy lasers aren't good for making shadow puppets.

#joke #puppets #lasers
November 6, 2025 at 7:39 PM
If I ever release a software or app, I'm going to put the sentence "Things that I cannot change." just before the Accept button.

What would you hide in the agreement?

#affirmation #joke
November 6, 2025 at 7:39 PM
As humans, why did we go through a 'mail' phase? We had mail for a long time and then suddenly...e mail, voice mail, snail mail? Glad it was a recent fad. I wouldn't like pigeon mail, smoke mail, and scroll mail. Cuneiform mail?

#joke #showerthoughts #mail
November 6, 2025 at 7:38 PM
I was informed that, as a mum, you can finally quit worrying about your children about thirty minutes after you die.

#joke #mom #mum
November 6, 2025 at 7:37 PM