I want to go to NYC for my companies tradeshow, and I worked my ass off this week to prove i’m an asset they need if they’re going further north than they’ve ever been. Dallas is nothing like New York, you need a northerner, not a southern belle.
January 16, 2026 at 7:07 PM
I want to go to NYC for my companies tradeshow, and I worked my ass off this week to prove i’m an asset they need if they’re going further north than they’ve ever been. Dallas is nothing like New York, you need a northerner, not a southern belle.
I would love to be done with bare-minimum men, but there’s so many of them that I’m 4/4 in the past 10 months. Maybe I do have daddy issues too…. Damn my therapist earns her checks
January 12, 2026 at 4:13 AM
I would love to be done with bare-minimum men, but there’s so many of them that I’m 4/4 in the past 10 months. Maybe I do have daddy issues too…. Damn my therapist earns her checks
Just learned that electricians leave the screws in your outlet covers & switch plates positioned vertically so they can tell if you tried to DIY.
January 11, 2026 at 12:36 PM
Just learned that electricians leave the screws in your outlet covers & switch plates positioned vertically so they can tell if you tried to DIY.
Makeup is like a hoodie for your face. Why am I having a hot flash after applying foundation
January 10, 2026 at 10:10 PM
Makeup is like a hoodie for your face. Why am I having a hot flash after applying foundation
Both of my roommates the past 12 months have lost their key fobs for the gate & community doors. I have 3 from my last apartment alone. What’s in the water here
January 9, 2026 at 12:55 AM
Both of my roommates the past 12 months have lost their key fobs for the gate & community doors. I have 3 from my last apartment alone. What’s in the water here
The amount of times I’ve accidentally put my socks and underwear on inside out is astonishing. In my defense, it’s dark at 7am. If the sky’s not awake, I’m not awake
January 8, 2026 at 6:03 PM
The amount of times I’ve accidentally put my socks and underwear on inside out is astonishing. In my defense, it’s dark at 7am. If the sky’s not awake, I’m not awake
What is mourning if not selfish longing for something you’ll never get to hold in your own hands again? What do we mourn, the departed, or our own experiences?
January 4, 2026 at 7:40 PM
What is mourning if not selfish longing for something you’ll never get to hold in your own hands again? What do we mourn, the departed, or our own experiences?
Can I do plumbing work? Yes. Will my bidet destroy your asshole? Also yes.
December 31, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Can I do plumbing work? Yes. Will my bidet destroy your asshole? Also yes.
I left the tumtum tree 4 days ago and I am ready to return again. The rest before battle gets more meager every year
No one ever understands when I say I’m resting beneath the TumTum Tree
December 27, 2025 at 10:06 PM
I left the tumtum tree 4 days ago and I am ready to return again. The rest before battle gets more meager every year
… instagram stories always puts the person I’m fuckin at the top of my “friends that viewed your story” like… pls, i don’t need the internet robot trying to foster feelings while im trying to bury them
December 27, 2025 at 10:02 PM
… instagram stories always puts the person I’m fuckin at the top of my “friends that viewed your story” like… pls, i don’t need the internet robot trying to foster feelings while im trying to bury them
I think my body instinctively rejects female friends so that i don’t switch cycles so damn quick. Period ended, yay! Coworker asked for a tampon, bleeding again the next day. How does one survive without birth control?
December 18, 2025 at 8:19 PM
I think my body instinctively rejects female friends so that i don’t switch cycles so damn quick. Period ended, yay! Coworker asked for a tampon, bleeding again the next day. How does one survive without birth control?
Offend me once, shame on you. Offend me twice
a woman in a pink suit is holding a microphone and the words that ain 't happening are above her
ALT: a woman in a pink suit is holding a microphone and the words that ain 't happening are above her
media.tenor.com
December 18, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Offend me once, shame on you. Offend me twice
No one ever understands when I say I’m resting beneath the TumTum Tree
December 16, 2025 at 10:38 PM
No one ever understands when I say I’m resting beneath the TumTum Tree
It all means something and yet nothing to me
a man is crying while looking at a cellphone
ALT: a man is crying while looking at a cellphone
media.tenor.com
December 16, 2025 at 9:42 PM
It all means something and yet nothing to me
Being single in my late 20s has made me realize that when men are tired, they default to lazy/entitled. “I’m too old for these games” out of a man’s mouth mean they want you to shut up and/or do all the work cuz they’ve earned their relaxation and relaxation to them is being a potato that poops
December 15, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Being single in my late 20s has made me realize that when men are tired, they default to lazy/entitled. “I’m too old for these games” out of a man’s mouth mean they want you to shut up and/or do all the work cuz they’ve earned their relaxation and relaxation to them is being a potato that poops
Roomie told me I need to take a break, but like a shark, if I stop I will suffocate
December 11, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Roomie told me I need to take a break, but like a shark, if I stop I will suffocate
Using body dysmorphia to my advantage. Every time I walk away from the mirror I’m a supermodel, duh
December 11, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Using body dysmorphia to my advantage. Every time I walk away from the mirror I’m a supermodel, duh
The south is wild cuz why am I taking the blame for my friends weed vape at almost 30yrs old.
December 9, 2025 at 5:36 AM
The south is wild cuz why am I taking the blame for my friends weed vape at almost 30yrs old.
My roommate calls me his big strong man, which is all fun and games until our smoke detector beeps for 2 months cuz I’m short and he’s incapable
December 4, 2025 at 3:36 AM
My roommate calls me his big strong man, which is all fun and games until our smoke detector beeps for 2 months cuz I’m short and he’s incapable
I need to live alone because I can’t have anyone questioning why I’m baking orange slices at midnight. Leave me be, I’m not bothering you and the house smells nice
December 2, 2025 at 5:26 AM
I need to live alone because I can’t have anyone questioning why I’m baking orange slices at midnight. Leave me be, I’m not bothering you and the house smells nice
Best ain’t enough. Yes it is.
November 30, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Best ain’t enough. Yes it is.
I stopped watching insta stories when they started being jump scares. I don’t wanna see him, or him, or them. Don’t assault me with their faces
November 18, 2025 at 11:22 PM
I stopped watching insta stories when they started being jump scares. I don’t wanna see him, or him, or them. Don’t assault me with their faces
My brain is on fire every day at work I wasn’t meant for computers & spreadsheets I was meant for the outdoors & manual labor. I miss being whole
November 18, 2025 at 4:36 PM
My brain is on fire every day at work I wasn’t meant for computers & spreadsheets I was meant for the outdoors & manual labor. I miss being whole
Being a woman and also in customer service, I’m very used to accepting blame for anything and everything. Tbh at this point it’s just easier to refund or replace than to argue.
November 15, 2025 at 6:42 AM
Being a woman and also in customer service, I’m very used to accepting blame for anything and everything. Tbh at this point it’s just easier to refund or replace than to argue.
I can’t NOT respond, cuz if they ghost me then at least the ball was in their court when they fumbled
November 14, 2025 at 11:42 PM
I can’t NOT respond, cuz if they ghost me then at least the ball was in their court when they fumbled