Nikki Coates
banner
nikkicoates.bsky.social
Nikki Coates
@nikkicoates.bsky.social
Someone told me the type of brain I have means I have a poor sense of self so expecting me to write this is very ableist actually. SE London. Some kind of regulator and that still surprises me.
On a brief holiday away from my doom-laden country & on yesterday’s bus trip through the middle of Malta the two women behind me were discussing how Keir Starmer hadn’t done enough to stop either the imposition of Sharia Law or trans women in women’s prisons and we should bring back Boris
November 15, 2025 at 7:45 AM
Any day you go to an aquarium is a good day but I’ve come to realise that something is up with the marine biologists and we’ve got to get to the bottom of it. pics (not mine) display: a zebra shark, a stripey, a sexy shrimp
November 13, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Actually a bit worried about some of you that seem to do a lot of your assessment of character based on syntax and punctuation: ‘what is surprising is how unimpressive he is’ - what?
November 13, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Ace thread. Am proud & grateful that Dimi saw enough in us to join us.
Personal note: London has been home for a very, very long time, but as of today, I am also officially a Brit - that is to say, a British citizen. I feel relieved and I feel grateful - but not, perhaps, in the forelock-tugging way GB News/Starmer expect a new immigrant to be.
November 12, 2025 at 9:04 AM
Reposted by Nikki Coates
I was told it was quicker at street level, but instead found myself in a completely different station called "Monument". A strange and savage nation.
November 12, 2025 at 7:48 AM
How do we engineer the situation where Noah Smith has to change lines at Bank? Imagine the fun we could have
November 12, 2025 at 7:46 AM
When we got to the door of St Paul’s in Mdina we found a sign telling us to buy tickets at the cathedral museum. So we did, and the helpful man at the counter recommended we go to the museum first as it closed first
November 11, 2025 at 6:35 PM
I’m having a lovely time on holiday in Malta and I cannot tell you how happy I am that when I return to London this will still be none of my concern
I really don’t think this is true and it’s unclear to be why the BoE does
November 10, 2025 at 10:50 AM
Sitting on my typing thumbs so I don’t come off as a Bluesky Scold™️ but I have just seen the most astonishing hijack: a famous complaint made by a famous woman about structural unfairness applied to how nice men operate at a disadvantage
November 8, 2025 at 9:22 AM
Reposted by Nikki Coates
Alan Carr........Best Actor Oscar. Nobel Prize. MacArthur Genius Grant. Ballon d’Or. Fields Medal. Legion of Honour. Victoria Cross. Presidential Medal of Freedom. Order of the British Empire. Key to the City. Grand Slam. Miss Universe.
October 29, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Vale Cat Burns and thank you for getting the whole ‘honestly talking to neurotypicals is exhausting and that’s why I keep sleeping’ thing out there
November 6, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Guys I can now buy guanciale, chinotto pop and fennel salami in a shop ~3 min walk from my house and I am prepared to hold weekly Truth Sessions with the rest of the Charlton residents to ensure that this precious business survives
November 6, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Today I have had to reset the ‘days since last security incident’ sign on the cat food cupboard to zero once again.

On the upside, at least Bam! isn’t letting Bonfire Night stress him out too much
November 5, 2025 at 6:17 PM
The Labour Party feels to me like a 10 year old laptop that you’ve just realised has frozen because you haven’t properly closed an app in 3 months. Turn it off and turn it on again.
October 29, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Dreadful, isn’t it, when you read the world’s most famous long short story/short novella of an evening for what may be the first time in a quarter-century OR maybe ever, and you want to talk about it but it’s late and who needs the tip for TWMFLSS/SN?

Anyway ‘The Metamorphosis’ is pretty good
October 29, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Reposted by Nikki Coates
Once again, @mcsweeneys.net does not miss.

------------------------------------------------

"In 2004, you saw some college guy using me and thought, 'What a lazy cheater.'

Now you’d think, 'At least he’s not asking Gemini.'

In a few years, you’ll say, 'Wow, look, a human being who can read.'"
Hi, It’s Me, Wikipedia, and I Am Ready for Your Apology
“Wikipedia, the constantly changing knowledge base created by a global free-for-all of anonymous users, now stands as the leading force for the dum...
www.mcsweeneys.net
October 28, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Important not to over-interpret the signs and portents but it does worry me quite a bit that while I have never before listened to an audiobook on Spotify, it thought I might want to start with the Unabomber manifesto:
October 21, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Gang, this has been a life-affirming if heterodox week: I saw John Shuttleworth! I bought a (ahem) ‘groovebox’! I applied for a scary course! I went to Little Simz at the O2! Charlton beat Sheffield Wednesday! I read that bonkers judgment about Vivien Saunders! The frogs on the American streets!
October 19, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Just submitted an application for a MA that scares me a bit so might be what I need. Let’s see, eh?
October 19, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Completely embarrassing stuff going on the BBC news at Ten as Chris Mason attempts to form a synthesis of an 18 page document (witness statements on the China espionage row) in real time, flicking back and forth between pages of a printout.
October 15, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Slightly aside from the point here but I remember saying in 2016 that it’d take a decade to recover from Brexit and I didn’t have one to spare and ah, well
October 14, 2025 at 8:13 AM
Recency bias v obvious in my unhinged literary takes there
October 13, 2025 at 11:24 PM
You should read more poetry, it would make you a better reader of novels.

Also, Life of Pi is a horrible novel and the *~* Wonder Of Stories *~* does nothing for suffering 9 times out of 10
Tell me your most unhinged literary opinion, as a little treat
October 13, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Anyhow. I’m in a bit of pain right this moment, relieved by keeping my limbs locked straight for as long as I can and by paracetamol. I still have ambitions to leave the house now and then and I just dislike thinking that every stranger is mentally assessing my laziness when I avoid stairs. Nbd.
October 10, 2025 at 10:05 AM
[subtweet of a much bigger account cos no one needs more of these types of argument] Ah you can have all the mild mannered TfL signs you like saying that not all disabilities are visible and yet people seem pretty confident they can spot arthritic joints from the outside
October 10, 2025 at 9:30 AM