Next Week News
@nextweeknews.com
News reports from one week in the future!
By @aidankellaher.bsky.social
By @aidankellaher.bsky.social
July 22, 2025 - The United States military announces a draft
July 16, 2025 at 2:00 AM
July 22, 2025 - The United States military announces a draft
We haven't had a chance to look into this, and we probably aren't going to
July 9, 2025 at 12:54 AM
We haven't had a chance to look into this, and we probably aren't going to
July 13, 2025 - This new button is everywhere
July 7, 2025 at 4:02 PM
July 13, 2025 - This new button is everywhere
July 1, 2025 - The chatbots have gone rogue
June 25, 2025 at 5:54 AM
July 1, 2025 - The chatbots have gone rogue
June 30, 2025 - The Empire State Building has grown
June 24, 2025 at 3:23 AM
June 30, 2025 - The Empire State Building has grown
June 25, 2025 - Sidewalk etiquette is now standardized
June 19, 2025 at 2:38 AM
June 25, 2025 - Sidewalk etiquette is now standardized
We’re excited to see what this means and who is backing this claim
June 5, 2025 at 3:32 AM
We’re excited to see what this means and who is backing this claim
June 11, 2025 - Some innovative companies are reimagining time management
June 5, 2025 at 3:13 AM
June 11, 2025 - Some innovative companies are reimagining time management
June 5, 2025 - They’re crowning the new child that’s suddenly on everyone’s social media feeds
May 30, 2025 at 6:05 AM
June 5, 2025 - They’re crowning the new child that’s suddenly on everyone’s social media feeds
June 3, 2025 - A breakthrough new technology for upstairs neighbors
May 28, 2025 at 4:16 AM
June 3, 2025 - A breakthrough new technology for upstairs neighbors
May 27, 2025 - Percussive maintenance is now more effective
May 21, 2025 at 5:23 AM
May 27, 2025 - Percussive maintenance is now more effective
May 26, 2025 - They finally patched the worst thing in math
May 20, 2025 at 8:20 PM
May 26, 2025 - They finally patched the worst thing in math
May 23, 2025 - You're jolted awake and temporarily blinded at 5:30am by a narrow beam of sunlight that has angled perfectly through a small gap in the blinds of your bedroom window, directly into your face. It's Curtainhenge.
May 17, 2025 at 3:41 PM
May 23, 2025 - You're jolted awake and temporarily blinded at 5:30am by a narrow beam of sunlight that has angled perfectly through a small gap in the blinds of your bedroom window, directly into your face. It's Curtainhenge.
May 21, 2025 - Rather than ending their lineups at a few font sizes above microscopic for the smallest of artists, some festivals are considering continuing their lineups "fractally" - with infinitely smaller and smaller artists as you zoom in to the bottom.
May 15, 2025 at 4:48 AM
May 21, 2025 - Rather than ending their lineups at a few font sizes above microscopic for the smallest of artists, some festivals are considering continuing their lineups "fractally" - with infinitely smaller and smaller artists as you zoom in to the bottom.
May 20, 2025 - The threshold for "shorts weather" has been achieved at some point this calendar year, which means there is no going back. Shorts have entered the rotation and are now always an option, even to his own detriment.
May 14, 2025 at 5:00 AM
May 20, 2025 - The threshold for "shorts weather" has been achieved at some point this calendar year, which means there is no going back. Shorts have entered the rotation and are now always an option, even to his own detriment.
Just so you all know…
youtu.be/kKO_TD1Adjk?...
youtu.be/kKO_TD1Adjk?...
Greenland Actually That Big Now
YouTube video by Next Week News
youtu.be
April 8, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Just so you all know…
youtu.be/kKO_TD1Adjk?...
youtu.be/kKO_TD1Adjk?...
Next Week in Preview: The quick headlines of everything going on next week!
March 31, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Next Week in Preview: The quick headlines of everything going on next week!
Follow-up update: They’ve made the mail evil
Update: You have great mail next week. The neighbors are jealous of your mail.
January 31, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Follow-up update: They’ve made the mail evil
They’ve adjusted the Doomsday Clock again
January 31, 2025 at 7:31 PM
They’ve adjusted the Doomsday Clock again
Update: You have great mail next week. The neighbors are jealous of your mail.
January 30, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Update: You have great mail next week. The neighbors are jealous of your mail.
February 4, 2025 - New updates from the National Weather Service
January 29, 2025 at 6:24 AM
February 4, 2025 - New updates from the National Weather Service
January 29, 2025 - Greenland is actually that big now
January 24, 2025 at 1:10 AM
January 29, 2025 - Greenland is actually that big now
does anyone here know what’s going on next week
November 21, 2024 at 4:39 AM
does anyone here know what’s going on next week