everyone who works in a client facing role’s favourite time of year has just begun. keep em coming folks
November 22, 2025 at 6:01 PM
everyone who works in a client facing role’s favourite time of year has just begun. keep em coming folks
subtle change, shorter days, dead eyed, dead weight
November 20, 2025 at 5:40 PM
subtle change, shorter days, dead eyed, dead weight
everyone except me die right now
November 15, 2025 at 6:32 PM
everyone except me die right now
i look like a teletubby i’m wearing so many layers
November 14, 2025 at 8:31 AM
i look like a teletubby i’m wearing so many layers
my sister was at a bar and her drink was £6.70 and the guy charging her goes to his coworker “six seven six seven” and doing the hand thing then he charged her £67 by accident
November 13, 2025 at 8:43 PM
my sister was at a bar and her drink was £6.70 and the guy charging her goes to his coworker “six seven six seven” and doing the hand thing then he charged her £67 by accident
a customer i was dealing with in work showed me a document that said Milton Keynes on it and i assumed it was his name because im stupid and called him Milton throughout our entire interaction and he never corrected me
November 11, 2025 at 2:14 PM
a customer i was dealing with in work showed me a document that said Milton Keynes on it and i assumed it was his name because im stupid and called him Milton throughout our entire interaction and he never corrected me
cheese and butter pasta tastes sooooo good when u don’t have a man in ur ear telling u to eat protein
November 10, 2025 at 10:31 PM
cheese and butter pasta tastes sooooo good when u don’t have a man in ur ear telling u to eat protein
belfast town becomes unbearable with christmas shoppers 0.2 seconds after halloween ends
November 8, 2025 at 10:56 PM
belfast town becomes unbearable with christmas shoppers 0.2 seconds after halloween ends
mistake my kindness for weakness and find your card CANCELLED
November 7, 2025 at 10:25 PM
mistake my kindness for weakness and find your card CANCELLED
i love that my sisters in her mid twenties now because she’s stopped making fun of me for being old lmao
November 7, 2025 at 3:59 PM
i love that my sisters in her mid twenties now because she’s stopped making fun of me for being old lmao
my toxic trait is i will make someone move their bag on a busy bus or train and sit next to them even if other people have left the seat beside them free. i will not reward bad behaviour!!
November 6, 2025 at 9:46 PM
my toxic trait is i will make someone move their bag on a busy bus or train and sit next to them even if other people have left the seat beside them free. i will not reward bad behaviour!!
Reposted by dr fart
My god… this sandwich… it’s made of pure lunch
November 5, 2025 at 5:31 PM
My god… this sandwich… it’s made of pure lunch
udon in my pee jammers
November 5, 2025 at 11:37 PM
udon in my pee jammers
i’m watching the liverpool game and farting loads in the pub. theres so many men around my boyfriend won’t know its me
November 4, 2025 at 8:35 PM
i’m watching the liverpool game and farting loads in the pub. theres so many men around my boyfriend won’t know its me
i don’t use twitter anymore so i just found out dick cheney died there now
November 4, 2025 at 8:33 PM
i don’t use twitter anymore so i just found out dick cheney died there now
left chicken fillets in the fridge for a bit too long and suddenly jeffrey dahmers whole thing is making my head spin
October 30, 2025 at 11:15 PM
left chicken fillets in the fridge for a bit too long and suddenly jeffrey dahmers whole thing is making my head spin
he asks how much i’m drinking and i lie but doctors are always trying to tell you some torturous way to live your life, its not like they know everything ever. hey man, i went to college too!!!!
October 30, 2025 at 8:19 PM
he asks how much i’m drinking and i lie but doctors are always trying to tell you some torturous way to live your life, its not like they know everything ever. hey man, i went to college too!!!!
i bought new curlers today and unfortunately my hair has never looked better
October 30, 2025 at 7:49 PM
i bought new curlers today and unfortunately my hair has never looked better
threw up last night and woke my boyfriend up to tell him so. good to know u never grow out of the Mummy I Frew Up urge
October 29, 2025 at 7:59 PM
threw up last night and woke my boyfriend up to tell him so. good to know u never grow out of the Mummy I Frew Up urge
Reposted by dr fart
Smoking and drinking will take years off of your life, which is why I'm doing both right now.
October 25, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Smoking and drinking will take years off of your life, which is why I'm doing both right now.
you might be lord of half the world you’ll not own me as well
October 25, 2025 at 4:26 PM
you might be lord of half the world you’ll not own me as well
Reposted by dr fart
One of the people killed by Soldier F was a man who stepped out to help another of his victims as he lay dying in the street. He waved a white handkerchief as he did so. Soldier F shot him in the head. His name was Barney McGuigan and today his family had to listen to a judge acquit his killer.
October 23, 2025 at 12:33 PM
One of the people killed by Soldier F was a man who stepped out to help another of his victims as he lay dying in the street. He waved a white handkerchief as he did so. Soldier F shot him in the head. His name was Barney McGuigan and today his family had to listen to a judge acquit his killer.
making dinner takes so long and then i hoof it into me in four and a half minutes and give myself a bellyache
October 22, 2025 at 6:09 PM
making dinner takes so long and then i hoof it into me in four and a half minutes and give myself a bellyache
i know i’m an adult now bc i actually put my plans and commitments in my calendar instead of relying on my feeble brain
October 21, 2025 at 10:44 PM
i know i’m an adult now bc i actually put my plans and commitments in my calendar instead of relying on my feeble brain
got paid and went crazy style on vinted
October 21, 2025 at 10:12 PM
got paid and went crazy style on vinted