Everytime I start to think "damn i enjoy my job, I could stay here for years" the universe punishes my naive ass with some bullshit

Most based reason to join a gym

I knew I was having a weird day when the breast cancer awareness volunteers stationed outside my store started arguing loudly between themselves 💀

The way I'll forget to eat or sleep if I'm caught up in a good game play or book 🙃

Starting the new year with one of those pimples that sits inside the flesh of your nostril and just hurts is so much fun 🫤

That awkward period between December 27th and December 30th is so humbling, but I can't explain why

I just remembered how, in my first ever job interview, the interviewer asked me what one of my weaknesses was and I replied after genuinely 40 seconds with "umm history??". He wrote it down and under his breath, he repeated what I said with a sigh. I've never emotionally recovered.

I so want to be one with nature and frolick in the fields and bushland, but I hate insects too much to be doing all that.

You know you have good people around you when they get you Lego completely unprompted

I've recently discovered how much I love Vodka compared to other alcoholic beverages..............it's so over for me homies 😭

Damn....there really isn't a SINGLE unique human experience huh 😭

TO THE OLDER COUPLE WHO VERY AGGRESSIVELY BANGED ON THE SHUTTER DOOR 30MINS AFTER I HAD SHUT AND PROCEEDED TO ARGUE ABOUT WHETHER THE STORE WAS SHUT OR NOT.......IM GOING TO EAT YOUR WHOLE HOUSE

To the young family of 5 that came into the store 10mins before closing but quickly left because they realised we were about to shut and apologised. Thank you for using context clues and making my day 😊

Check your receipt, you may be eligible for a refund

Was literally speaking French to my mum at a concert when an older gentleman turned around next to us and said "oh you must be Brazilian. ".......he wasn't even joking 💀