Matt Thomas
@mrmattthomas.bsky.social
All content constitutes medical advice.
Pinned
To be fair it’s a hell of a job. He looks about 2 years old there.
November 5, 2025 at 11:10 PM
To be fair it’s a hell of a job. He looks about 2 years old there.
Sub-editing hall of famers as always.
November 5, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Sub-editing hall of famers as always.
I know for a FACT that someone on the production team of The Great British Baking Show must have made a supercut of contestants saying the c-word and I would pay almost anything to see it.
November 3, 2025 at 5:14 AM
I know for a FACT that someone on the production team of The Great British Baking Show must have made a supercut of contestants saying the c-word and I would pay almost anything to see it.
My favorite accidental email of all time. I think I’m going to teach this guy and his kids to box.
November 1, 2025 at 4:37 AM
My favorite accidental email of all time. I think I’m going to teach this guy and his kids to box.
TFW when a friend is on a rant and they turn your way with an ‘and as for you…’
October 24, 2025 at 4:45 PM
TFW when a friend is on a rant and they turn your way with an ‘and as for you…’
And I have to wear this hat.
October 23, 2025 at 10:50 PM
And I have to wear this hat.
I couldn’t even tell you why he irks me so much but I have never rooted against a driver as hard as I root against Lando Norris.
October 23, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I couldn’t even tell you why he irks me so much but I have never rooted against a driver as hard as I root against Lando Norris.
Cute barista at the coffee place just handed a cappuccino to a guy in a Star Wars shirt and said ‘may the froth be with you’.
He got an erection so hard he died.
He got an erection so hard he died.
October 23, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Cute barista at the coffee place just handed a cappuccino to a guy in a Star Wars shirt and said ‘may the froth be with you’.
He got an erection so hard he died.
He got an erection so hard he died.
Was there ever a more middle-aged man than I?
October 23, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Was there ever a more middle-aged man than I?
Millennial: I uploaded this photo of us. Go tag yourself.
X-er: You go tag yourself! And where’s the rent?
X-er: You go tag yourself! And where’s the rent?
September 26, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Millennial: I uploaded this photo of us. Go tag yourself.
X-er: You go tag yourself! And where’s the rent?
X-er: You go tag yourself! And where’s the rent?
‘I think the decor is a bit much!?’ - Trump on Buckingham Palace
September 19, 2025 at 5:08 AM
‘I think the decor is a bit much!?’ - Trump on Buckingham Palace
I don’t approve of violence of any kind.
But also…
Popping up to say RIP and denounce this violence when you’ve been quiet about all kinds of violence up to this point is suspicious as hell.
But also…
Popping up to say RIP and denounce this violence when you’ve been quiet about all kinds of violence up to this point is suspicious as hell.
September 11, 2025 at 1:44 PM
I don’t approve of violence of any kind.
But also…
Popping up to say RIP and denounce this violence when you’ve been quiet about all kinds of violence up to this point is suspicious as hell.
But also…
Popping up to say RIP and denounce this violence when you’ve been quiet about all kinds of violence up to this point is suspicious as hell.
Chess . com might be exceeding its remit a bit.
September 6, 2025 at 5:37 AM
Chess . com might be exceeding its remit a bit.
Behold, the melodica. A dumb little instrument that every band decided they needed for about six months in 2004. Good riddance you fuck.
September 4, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Behold, the melodica. A dumb little instrument that every band decided they needed for about six months in 2004. Good riddance you fuck.
Bluey is amazing. It’s like Ted Lasso for grownups.
September 3, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Bluey is amazing. It’s like Ted Lasso for grownups.
Democrats: We need a Joe Rogan of the left
*Adam Friedland goes viral
Democrats: Not like that
*Adam Friedland goes viral
Democrats: Not like that
September 1, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Democrats: We need a Joe Rogan of the left
*Adam Friedland goes viral
Democrats: Not like that
*Adam Friedland goes viral
Democrats: Not like that
Every time I think I couldn’t like Oscar Piastri any more…
August 30, 2025 at 5:07 AM
Every time I think I couldn’t like Oscar Piastri any more…
The English made the word ‘right’ a synonym for ‘correct’, an explanation of basic needs, AND a direction of physical travel and never thought to change it.
We have a lot to answer for but you can’t say we’re not funny.
We have a lot to answer for but you can’t say we’re not funny.
August 25, 2025 at 2:02 PM
The English made the word ‘right’ a synonym for ‘correct’, an explanation of basic needs, AND a direction of physical travel and never thought to change it.
We have a lot to answer for but you can’t say we’re not funny.
We have a lot to answer for but you can’t say we’re not funny.
Is it that hard, guys? If they can collect phones at comedy clubs they can do it at schools.
August 25, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Is it that hard, guys? If they can collect phones at comedy clubs they can do it at schools.
A guy once invited me to go deep sea fishing. I said I would only go if he pretended to be looking for a specific fish that wronged him.
August 15, 2025 at 1:36 AM
A guy once invited me to go deep sea fishing. I said I would only go if he pretended to be looking for a specific fish that wronged him.
Seriously, who looks at this guy and doesn’t think he’s about to close the local rec center.
July 16, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Seriously, who looks at this guy and doesn’t think he’s about to close the local rec center.
To be clear, there are no circumstances under which you ‘have to hand it’ to Jeffrey Epstein but becoming a billionaire with zero clients is kind of the contractor dream!
July 10, 2025 at 3:45 PM
To be clear, there are no circumstances under which you ‘have to hand it’ to Jeffrey Epstein but becoming a billionaire with zero clients is kind of the contractor dream!
Father of two, Christian Horner.
July 10, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Father of two, Christian Horner.
It will never not be funny to me how little of a shit Kevin McCallister's Dad gave that he was home alone.
June 9, 2025 at 5:50 PM
It will never not be funny to me how little of a shit Kevin McCallister's Dad gave that he was home alone.