@motheroffive.bsky.social
Pinned
SMITE! Republican Candidate Quits As ICE Cracks 0
SMITE! Republican Candidate Quits As ICE Cracks
“Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear.”
open.substack.com
January 27, 2026 at 3:37 PM
SMITE! Republican Candidate Quits As ICE Cracks 0
Thou Shalt Abolish And Prosecute ICE!
Thou Shalt Abolish And Prosecute ICE!
Can God get a f***ing amen?
open.substack.com
January 25, 2026 at 4:16 PM
Thou Shalt Abolish And Prosecute ICE!
Stephen Miller Reminds Picky-Eater Son That There Starving Kids In Basement —
Stephen Miller Reminds Picky-Eater Son That There Starving Kids In Basement
ARLINGTON, VA—In an apparent attempt to guilt his children into eating their vegetables Monday, White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller reportedly reminded one of his sons, a picky eater, tha...
theonion.com
January 21, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Stephen Miller Reminds Picky-Eater Son That There Starving Kids In Basement —
Archaeologists: D.C. Capitol May Have Once Been Used For Legislating —
Archaeologists: D.C. Capitol May Have Once Been Used For Legislating
WASHINGTON—Calling the discovery the “clearest proof yet” of how the U.S. government was originally designed to function, archaeologists published new evidence Thursday that suggests the Capitol build...
theonion.com
January 19, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Archaeologists: D.C. Capitol May Have Once Been Used For Legislating —
Giddy Trump Struts All Around White House With Nobel Peace Prize In Mouth —
Giddy Trump Struts All Around White House With Nobel Peace Prize In Mouth
WASHINGTON—Panting excitedly as he trotted from room to room displaying his prized possession, a giddy President Donald Trump was reportedly seen Friday strutting all around the White House with a Nob...
theonion.com
January 19, 2026 at 6:58 PM
Giddy Trump Struts All Around White House With Nobel Peace Prize In Mouth —
Melania Trump Casts Longtime Aide Into Well Of Gloom —
Melania Trump Casts Longtime Aide Into Well Of Gloom
WASHINGTON—In an abrupt termination that surprised many White House observers and raised questions about the fate of her remaining staff, first lady Melania Trump reportedly cast longtime aide Heather...
theonion.com
January 16, 2026 at 6:26 PM
Melania Trump Casts Longtime Aide Into Well Of Gloom —
Bless Whoever Defaced Trump’s Hollywood Star Again
Bless Whoever Defaced Trump’s Hollywood Star Again
Nailed it.
open.substack.com
January 13, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Bless Whoever Defaced Trump’s Hollywood Star Again
SMITE! ICE Agents Are Slipping On Ice
SMITE! ICE Agents Are Slipping On Ice
You're welcome.
open.substack.com
January 12, 2026 at 8:17 PM
SMITE! ICE Agents Are Slipping On Ice
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession —
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
theonion.com
January 6, 2026 at 5:28 PM
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession —
Thou Shalt Not Illegally Start Wars
Thou Shalt Not Illegally Start Wars
Trump bombed Venezuela last night.
open.substack.com
January 3, 2026 at 3:44 PM
Thou Shalt Not Illegally Start Wars
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
WASHINGTON—Despite the president’s sagging approval rating overall, a Gallup Poll released Tuesday confirmed that Donald Trump’s support remained overwhelmingly strong among working-class American ped...
theonion.com
January 1, 2026 at 5:11 PM
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
MAGA Finds Out Their Health Insurance Is Going Up
MAGA Finds Out Their Health Insurance Is Going Up
They voted for this.
open.substack.com
December 28, 2025 at 6:33 PM
MAGA Finds Out Their Health Insurance Is Going Up
Bless The Boxer Who Knocked Jake Paul the Fuck Out
Bless The Boxer Who Knocked Jake Paul the Fuck Out
So shines a good smite in a weary world.
open.substack.com
December 22, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Bless The Boxer Who Knocked Jake Paul the Fuck Out
Bless Indiana For Making Trump’s Head Explode
Bless Indiana For Making Trump’s Head Explode
Can God get an amen?
open.substack.com
December 13, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Bless Indiana For Making Trump’s Head Explode
Total Morons Sean Duffy And RFK Jr Do Pull-ups At Airport
Total Morons Sean Duffy And RFK Jr Do Pull-ups At Airport
The Trump admin wants you to wear a suit to work out at the airport.
open.substack.com
December 9, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Total Morons Sean Duffy And RFK Jr Do Pull-ups At Airport
Thou Shalt Leave The Walz Family The Fuck Alone
Thou Shalt Leave The Walz Family The Fuck Alone
Can God get a flipping amen?
open.substack.com
December 8, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Thou Shalt Leave The Walz Family The Fuck Alone
Bless Costco For Suing Trump And Making MAGA Furious
Bless Costco For Suing Trump And Making MAGA Furious
More hotdogs for you and more hotdogs for me.
open.substack.com
December 5, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Bless Costco For Suing Trump And Making MAGA Furious
Trump Voter Finally Realizes Trump Is A Moron
Trump Voter Finally Realizes Trump Is A Moron
Don Snorleone is in big trouble.
open.substack.com
December 4, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Trump Voter Finally Realizes Trump Is A Moron
Musk Accidentally Proves 70% Of MAGA Accounts On Twitter Live In Russia
Musk Accidentally Proves 70% Of MAGA Accounts On Twitter Live In Russia
Whoops!
open.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Musk Accidentally Proves 70% Of MAGA Accounts On Twitter Live In Russia
Thou Shalt Not Threaten To Kill Members Of Congress
Thou Shalt Not Threaten To Kill Members Of Congress
Can God get a frigging amen?
www.thegodpodcast.com
November 21, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Thou Shalt Not Threaten To Kill Members Of Congress
‘Temu Jigsaw’ Laura Loomer Suddenly Very Worried About GOP's 'Nazi Problem'
‘Temu Jigsaw’ Laura Loomer Suddenly Very Worried About GOP's 'Nazi Problem'
What was her first clue?
open.substack.com
November 20, 2025 at 3:52 PM
‘Temu Jigsaw’ Laura Loomer Suddenly Very Worried About GOP's 'Nazi Problem'
Orange Pedo, eat your heart out.
A peek inside the Colonna Palace, Rome’s most exclusive tourist site
A peek inside the Colonna Palace, Rome’s most exclusive tourist site
A peek inside the Colonna Palace, Rome’s most exclusive tourist site
Every year, millions visit Rome's famous sites, but few enter the exclusive Colonna Palace. This private home-museum, hidden in the city center, opens only to small groups for a few hours on Friday an...
apnews.com
November 17, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Orange Pedo, eat your heart out.
A peek inside the Colonna Palace, Rome’s most exclusive tourist site
A peek inside the Colonna Palace, Rome’s most exclusive tourist site
Trump Voters Are Getting the Black Lung Because of Him
Killing his supporters. Must be a new high for him and his cult.
Killing his supporters. Must be a new high for him and his cult.
Trump Voters Are Getting the Black Lung Because of Him
“They’re doing everything they can to hurt the working man."
open.substack.com
November 9, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Trump Voters Are Getting the Black Lung Because of Him
Killing his supporters. Must be a new high for him and his cult.
Killing his supporters. Must be a new high for him and his cult.
this week in stupid: November 8 edition
this week in stupid: November 8 edition
Donny Convict labels it, Jesse Watters enables it, and so much more...
open.substack.com
November 8, 2025 at 4:54 PM
this week in stupid: November 8 edition
Melania Increases Tariffs on Canada to 10,000% to Retaliate for Katy Perry Dating Justin Trudeau
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Melania Increases Tariffs on Canada to 10,000% to Retaliate for Katy Perry Dating Justin Trudeau
The First Lady's move has further imperiled relations between the US and its northern neighbor.
open.substack.com
October 27, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Melania Increases Tariffs on Canada to 10,000% to Retaliate for Katy Perry Dating Justin Trudeau
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...