M.M. Kaufman
@mmkaufman.bsky.social
Meet me at the car wash. Writer. Managing editor at Rejection Letters. Latest words at Okay Donkey, Identity Theory, Farewell Transmission, JAKE.
It’s here. My favorite thing I’ve ever written. Let’s go to the carwash!
"You had no idea all the ways life can break you, and wouldn’t you give anything to have that ignorance back?"
@mmkaufman.bsky.social's "The Carwash Essay"
trampset.org/the-carwash-...
@mmkaufman.bsky.social's "The Carwash Essay"
trampset.org/the-carwash-...
The Carwash Essay
by M.M. Kaufman
trampset.org
October 31, 2025 at 3:35 PM
It’s here. My favorite thing I’ve ever written. Let’s go to the carwash!
You’ll never guess what my piece is about…
October 28, 2025 at 3:01 PM
You’ll never guess what my piece is about…
I made two strangers happy-cry (like fr) in my office today. So my work is done here. I think I can go home.
October 15, 2025 at 6:31 PM
I made two strangers happy-cry (like fr) in my office today. So my work is done here. I think I can go home.
Got good news today for enthusiasts of both carwashes and my writing. Stay tuned!
October 15, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Got good news today for enthusiasts of both carwashes and my writing. Stay tuned!
Reposted by M.M. Kaufman
oh hi, we're opening for submissions tomorrow, Friday 9/5! 200 cap & we'll stay open until filled. mark ur calendars 👇
September 4, 2025 at 2:07 PM
oh hi, we're opening for submissions tomorrow, Friday 9/5! 200 cap & we'll stay open until filled. mark ur calendars 👇
I think I’m in the minority of diehard Wuthering Heights fans who are actually excited about Emerald Fennell’s new film. But maybe that’s because my only published poem is a cliff notes version of who and why everyone hooks up in the novel? 🤷♀️ 🥵 #hottake
jmwwblog.wordpress.com/the-modern-r...
jmwwblog.wordpress.com/the-modern-r...
The Modern Reader’s Cliff Notes to Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë—But Make It Hot by M.M. Kaufmann
(Cathy sr. re Heathcliff)Is he hot or is he the only guy you’ve ever known who isn’t related to you?Is he hot or did your dad bring him home and you and brother mistook him for a dog?Is he hot or i…
jmwwblog.wordpress.com
September 4, 2025 at 10:55 PM
I think I’m in the minority of diehard Wuthering Heights fans who are actually excited about Emerald Fennell’s new film. But maybe that’s because my only published poem is a cliff notes version of who and why everyone hooks up in the novel? 🤷♀️ 🥵 #hottake
jmwwblog.wordpress.com/the-modern-r...
jmwwblog.wordpress.com/the-modern-r...
Shout out to the birds that live around my neighborhood. Y’all sound real good today.
August 31, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Shout out to the birds that live around my neighborhood. Y’all sound real good today.
Reposted by M.M. Kaufman
Um. Everybody... stop what you're doing and check out @mmkaufman.bsky.social's new banger "PLATEAUED"... up today at @poolpartymag.com 🔥🔥🔥
"Her breath caught in her chest and wouldn’t release. She hadn’t taken an edible, but this felt like a terrible trip."
We're soooooo excited to publish the story "Plateaued" by one of our favorite writers in the world, the carwash queen
@mm_kaufman 🔥
poolpartymag.com/plateaued/
We're soooooo excited to publish the story "Plateaued" by one of our favorite writers in the world, the carwash queen
@mm_kaufman 🔥
poolpartymag.com/plateaued/
Plateaued by M.M. Kaufman
Cooper and CeCe were sitting in the backyard watching their respective daughters, Lily and Anya, play at the bottom of the sloping hill. They sat in Adirondack chairs while their Aperol spritzes colle...
poolpartymag.com
August 28, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Um. Everybody... stop what you're doing and check out @mmkaufman.bsky.social's new banger "PLATEAUED"... up today at @poolpartymag.com 🔥🔥🔥
Pulling up to yoga class blasting Rage Against the Machine because that’s where I’m at right now.
August 25, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Pulling up to yoga class blasting Rage Against the Machine because that’s where I’m at right now.
Are people aware of what flight anxiety is really like? What it’s about, the triggers, the origins, and how it presents? Do I need to put off my novel projects again to write a CNF piece about this plague?
August 22, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Are people aware of what flight anxiety is really like? What it’s about, the triggers, the origins, and how it presents? Do I need to put off my novel projects again to write a CNF piece about this plague?
Battling flight anxiety with a pre airport carwash.
August 22, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Battling flight anxiety with a pre airport carwash.
There are just not enough people telling me on a daily basis that they wanna rock my Gypsy soul just like way back in the days of old.
August 20, 2025 at 8:11 PM
There are just not enough people telling me on a daily basis that they wanna rock my Gypsy soul just like way back in the days of old.
All it took was 2025 (and a whole lot of bullshit) to make me realize I’m a Rage Against the Machine girlie.
elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a fire
ALT: elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a fire
media.tenor.com
August 19, 2025 at 10:56 PM
All it took was 2025 (and a whole lot of bullshit) to make me realize I’m a Rage Against the Machine girlie.
My new practice of subbing 1 piece to 1 magazine that I think it’s really, really right for is paying off. Got a 102 minute acceptance from @poolpartymag.com! Been wanting to sub there for ages, but waited until I knew I had something up their alley. Let’s go swimming!
August 11, 2025 at 9:18 PM
My new practice of subbing 1 piece to 1 magazine that I think it’s really, really right for is paying off. Got a 102 minute acceptance from @poolpartymag.com! Been wanting to sub there for ages, but waited until I knew I had something up their alley. Let’s go swimming!
This boujee coffee cost me one small organ and I shall take a sip every 15 minutes to make it worth it.
And no I’m not writing an existential think piece/memoirella on all the major Batman films, why would you even ask?
And no I’m not writing an existential think piece/memoirella on all the major Batman films, why would you even ask?
August 9, 2025 at 5:52 PM
This boujee coffee cost me one small organ and I shall take a sip every 15 minutes to make it worth it.
And no I’m not writing an existential think piece/memoirella on all the major Batman films, why would you even ask?
And no I’m not writing an existential think piece/memoirella on all the major Batman films, why would you even ask?
I am so incredibly proud of Travis Alexander for writing this amazing story and creating this serialized podcast SIRENS. And I’m even more honored to be a part of it. Check out ya girl Tabby popping in at episode 3!
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...
SIRENS: Season of the Seawitch
Science Fiction Podcast · Series · This is a story about a machine. A big machine. A supercomputer the size and shape of an ancient pyramid. A device that runs the world from the secret recesses of th...
podcasts.apple.com
August 9, 2025 at 2:52 PM
I am so incredibly proud of Travis Alexander for writing this amazing story and creating this serialized podcast SIRENS. And I’m even more honored to be a part of it. Check out ya girl Tabby popping in at episode 3!
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...
Anyone in the market for some emotions? I think I’m gonna start selling mine off to pay my student loans.
August 8, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Anyone in the market for some emotions? I think I’m gonna start selling mine off to pay my student loans.
Anyone else find themselves thinking about Tennessee Williams’ The Glass Menagerie and muttering to themselves, Man, fuck that dude. Fuck all the dudes in that play. Just me?
August 8, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Anyone else find themselves thinking about Tennessee Williams’ The Glass Menagerie and muttering to themselves, Man, fuck that dude. Fuck all the dudes in that play. Just me?
Driving to work on a cloudy Friday morning wearing all black and singing along word-for-word to Joni Mitchell—watch out (emotional) world!
August 8, 2025 at 12:57 PM
Driving to work on a cloudy Friday morning wearing all black and singing along word-for-word to Joni Mitchell—watch out (emotional) world!
If fiction goes short story < novella < novel, can I call my cnf work-in-progress that is longer than the average essay but not a book a memoirella? Because I'm not actually asking and totally calling it that.
August 7, 2025 at 5:37 PM
If fiction goes short story < novella < novel, can I call my cnf work-in-progress that is longer than the average essay but not a book a memoirella? Because I'm not actually asking and totally calling it that.
I really miss my Dad.
August 4, 2025 at 6:26 PM
I really miss my Dad.
When you’re so sad your everyday barista asks what’s wrong with your voice. 🙃
August 4, 2025 at 6:01 PM
When you’re so sad your everyday barista asks what’s wrong with your voice. 🙃
Was up till 3am at the ER with my baby nephew (he’s gonna be fine! Whew!), so this morning I walked into a local coffee shop and said I need enough caffeine to get me right with a God I don’t believe in. The baristas doubled over in laughter and said we got you.
July 29, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Was up till 3am at the ER with my baby nephew (he’s gonna be fine! Whew!), so this morning I walked into a local coffee shop and said I need enough caffeine to get me right with a God I don’t believe in. The baristas doubled over in laughter and said we got you.