Ryan Menezes
@menezescracked.bsky.social
In excellent health. https://www.cracked.com/members/Menezes
The banana has a phallic reputation. Odd, since it's curved, unlike most phallic objects.
The reputation goes back at least as far as the 1800s, back when the variant we eat today, the Cavendish banana, did not yet exist. They ate Gros Michel bananas, which curved less.
The reputation goes back at least as far as the 1800s, back when the variant we eat today, the Cavendish banana, did not yet exist. They ate Gros Michel bananas, which curved less.
November 21, 2025 at 2:44 AM
The banana has a phallic reputation. Odd, since it's curved, unlike most phallic objects.
The reputation goes back at least as far as the 1800s, back when the variant we eat today, the Cavendish banana, did not yet exist. They ate Gros Michel bananas, which curved less.
The reputation goes back at least as far as the 1800s, back when the variant we eat today, the Cavendish banana, did not yet exist. They ate Gros Michel bananas, which curved less.
If Tetris pieces fell randomly, you'd soon hit a long stretch of zigzag tiles you couldn't possibly eliminate, no matter how well you play. Modern versions of Tetris avoid this with nonrandom drops.
One A.I. playing the NES version decided the optimal strategy was to give up.
One A.I. playing the NES version decided the optimal strategy was to give up.
November 16, 2025 at 2:30 PM
If Tetris pieces fell randomly, you'd soon hit a long stretch of zigzag tiles you couldn't possibly eliminate, no matter how well you play. Modern versions of Tetris avoid this with nonrandom drops.
One A.I. playing the NES version decided the optimal strategy was to give up.
One A.I. playing the NES version decided the optimal strategy was to give up.
When confronted in October 2016 about saying "grab 'em by the pussy," Trump issued a statement, saying, "Bill Clinton has said far worse to me."
Call it deflection, but it really did come off as an oddly honest response, and quite believable.
Call it deflection, but it really did come off as an oddly honest response, and quite believable.
November 15, 2025 at 4:31 PM
When confronted in October 2016 about saying "grab 'em by the pussy," Trump issued a statement, saying, "Bill Clinton has said far worse to me."
Call it deflection, but it really did come off as an oddly honest response, and quite believable.
Call it deflection, but it really did come off as an oddly honest response, and quite believable.
Messages between a husband and wife, two undertakers caught piling 190 bodies in their funeral home instead of cremating them.
November 15, 2025 at 1:53 AM
Messages between a husband and wife, two undertakers caught piling 190 bodies in their funeral home instead of cremating them.
Pluribus opened with a green and purple tint, and I thought that was an interesting artistic choice. I only gradually realized it uses Dolby Vision color, and my screen wasn't decoding it properly.
November 13, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Pluribus opened with a green and purple tint, and I thought that was an interesting artistic choice. I only gradually realized it uses Dolby Vision color, and my screen wasn't decoding it properly.
Just remembered I wrote this in 2021, as a joke. Then this year, it became actual White House strategy.
November 10, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Just remembered I wrote this in 2021, as a joke. Then this year, it became actual White House strategy.
"A twenty should do it," says the Titanic guy, about compensating Jack for saving Rose's life. Then he reconsiders and offers something more gracious: one dinner with the first class crowd.
A twenty was $660 in today's money and could rent a room in 1912 New York for six months.
A twenty was $660 in today's money and could rent a room in 1912 New York for six months.
November 9, 2025 at 10:08 PM
"A twenty should do it," says the Titanic guy, about compensating Jack for saving Rose's life. Then he reconsiders and offers something more gracious: one dinner with the first class crowd.
A twenty was $660 in today's money and could rent a room in 1912 New York for six months.
A twenty was $660 in today's money and could rent a room in 1912 New York for six months.
Car pulls over.
Driver: "Hey, do you know how to get to ___"
Me: "Let me see. I could show you on my phone."
Driver: (angry) "Even I could look it up on my phone." *drives away*
Driver: "Hey, do you know how to get to ___"
Me: "Let me see. I could show you on my phone."
Driver: (angry) "Even I could look it up on my phone." *drives away*
November 6, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Car pulls over.
Driver: "Hey, do you know how to get to ___"
Me: "Let me see. I could show you on my phone."
Driver: (angry) "Even I could look it up on my phone." *drives away*
Driver: "Hey, do you know how to get to ___"
Me: "Let me see. I could show you on my phone."
Driver: (angry) "Even I could look it up on my phone." *drives away*
People magazine didn't start doing Sexiest Man Alive because they thought it would be a good idea to pick the sexiest man alive. They were just doing a profile of a celeb one month, like they do regularly, and they went with "sexiest man alive" as the line to stick on the cover.
November 6, 2025 at 3:49 AM
People magazine didn't start doing Sexiest Man Alive because they thought it would be a good idea to pick the sexiest man alive. They were just doing a profile of a celeb one month, like they do regularly, and they went with "sexiest man alive" as the line to stick on the cover.
What saves more gas? Raising an engine's efficiency from 10 MPG to 15 MPG or raising it from 25 MPG to 50 MPG?
Answer: Raising from 10 to 15.
Answer: Raising from 10 to 15.
November 4, 2025 at 2:43 PM
What saves more gas? Raising an engine's efficiency from 10 MPG to 15 MPG or raising it from 25 MPG to 50 MPG?
Answer: Raising from 10 to 15.
Answer: Raising from 10 to 15.
Hitler did not try getting a Nobel Peace Prize, no.
He did get so angry about one going to an enemy that he banned all Germans from accepting Nobel prizes going forward. He set up a rival German prize for Art and Science (but not for peace, as he did not honor peace).
He did get so angry about one going to an enemy that he banned all Germans from accepting Nobel prizes going forward. He set up a rival German prize for Art and Science (but not for peace, as he did not honor peace).
November 3, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Hitler did not try getting a Nobel Peace Prize, no.
He did get so angry about one going to an enemy that he banned all Germans from accepting Nobel prizes going forward. He set up a rival German prize for Art and Science (but not for peace, as he did not honor peace).
He did get so angry about one going to an enemy that he banned all Germans from accepting Nobel prizes going forward. He set up a rival German prize for Art and Science (but not for peace, as he did not honor peace).
If a disease makes someone's skin look weird, you might assume you'll catch it by touching them. That's often untrue.
For centuries, people thought leprosy transmits via skin contact. It doesn't. It transmits via the respiratory system. Also, 95% of people are naturally immune.
For centuries, people thought leprosy transmits via skin contact. It doesn't. It transmits via the respiratory system. Also, 95% of people are naturally immune.
November 2, 2025 at 11:55 PM
If a disease makes someone's skin look weird, you might assume you'll catch it by touching them. That's often untrue.
For centuries, people thought leprosy transmits via skin contact. It doesn't. It transmits via the respiratory system. Also, 95% of people are naturally immune.
For centuries, people thought leprosy transmits via skin contact. It doesn't. It transmits via the respiratory system. Also, 95% of people are naturally immune.
Food stamps were originally restricted to specific kinds of food to provide a subsidy to farmers.
Stamps were administered by the Federal Surplus Commodities Corporation, whose job was to sell surplus farm products without letting prices drop naturally to the market rate.
Stamps were administered by the Federal Surplus Commodities Corporation, whose job was to sell surplus farm products without letting prices drop naturally to the market rate.
October 31, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Food stamps were originally restricted to specific kinds of food to provide a subsidy to farmers.
Stamps were administered by the Federal Surplus Commodities Corporation, whose job was to sell surplus farm products without letting prices drop naturally to the market rate.
Stamps were administered by the Federal Surplus Commodities Corporation, whose job was to sell surplus farm products without letting prices drop naturally to the market rate.
Sociologists have researched where the fear of neighbors poisoning Halloween candy came from. There are no actual cases of that ever happening.
One theory: People started mistrusting neighbors more thanks to racial integration.
One theory: People started mistrusting neighbors more thanks to racial integration.
October 27, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Sociologists have researched where the fear of neighbors poisoning Halloween candy came from. There are no actual cases of that ever happening.
One theory: People started mistrusting neighbors more thanks to racial integration.
One theory: People started mistrusting neighbors more thanks to racial integration.
I'd been looking for an excuse to write this synopsis somewhere
October 26, 2025 at 2:59 PM
I'd been looking for an excuse to write this synopsis somewhere
Aww. I thought "clapback" derived from people actually clapping at each other, with their hands. Punctuating their words with hand claps. But no:
October 25, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Aww. I thought "clapback" derived from people actually clapping at each other, with their hands. Punctuating their words with hand claps. But no:
Americans considered chicken wings an extreme low-class food before the 1960s. Not because you eat them with your hands but because each has so little meat. They were treated like chicken feet, good only for boiling to make stock.
Then Buffalo came up with hot wings.
Then Buffalo came up with hot wings.
October 24, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Americans considered chicken wings an extreme low-class food before the 1960s. Not because you eat them with your hands but because each has so little meat. They were treated like chicken feet, good only for boiling to make stock.
Then Buffalo came up with hot wings.
Then Buffalo came up with hot wings.
Every year, fourth week of October
October 23, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Every year, fourth week of October
Eddington (2025)
October 22, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Eddington (2025)
Remember when the Hobbit nostalgically brought back LOTR actors, the way legacy sequels do? Return of the King was only nine years old at the time.
Zootopia will be older than that when Zootopia 2 comes out. Incredibles 2 will be older than that when Incredibles 3 comes out.
Zootopia will be older than that when Zootopia 2 comes out. Incredibles 2 will be older than that when Incredibles 3 comes out.
October 17, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Remember when the Hobbit nostalgically brought back LOTR actors, the way legacy sequels do? Return of the King was only nine years old at the time.
Zootopia will be older than that when Zootopia 2 comes out. Incredibles 2 will be older than that when Incredibles 3 comes out.
Zootopia will be older than that when Zootopia 2 comes out. Incredibles 2 will be older than that when Incredibles 3 comes out.
When Neil Armstrong walked on the Moon, the lunar surface had a temperature of around 120°C, or 250°F.
The suit didn’t keep him warm. It kept him cool, using chilled water from a tank in his backpack.
The suit didn’t keep him warm. It kept him cool, using chilled water from a tank in his backpack.
October 16, 2025 at 5:45 PM
When Neil Armstrong walked on the Moon, the lunar surface had a temperature of around 120°C, or 250°F.
The suit didn’t keep him warm. It kept him cool, using chilled water from a tank in his backpack.
The suit didn’t keep him warm. It kept him cool, using chilled water from a tank in his backpack.
Cigarette filters respond to smoke by turning brown. The discoloration isn't trapped tar. It's a design feature, a reaction to smoke passing through the filter. The color change falsely implies the filter traps more stuff than it really does.
October 14, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Cigarette filters respond to smoke by turning brown. The discoloration isn't trapped tar. It's a design feature, a reaction to smoke passing through the filter. The color change falsely implies the filter traps more stuff than it really does.
This photo is often labeled as the mushroom cloud created by the nuclear strike at Hiroshima. That's half-true.
Nukes create mushroom clouds, but even a nuke a thousand times as big as Little Boy wouldn’t produce a mushroom cloud this size. (1/2)
Nukes create mushroom clouds, but even a nuke a thousand times as big as Little Boy wouldn’t produce a mushroom cloud this size. (1/2)
October 11, 2025 at 5:34 PM
This photo is often labeled as the mushroom cloud created by the nuclear strike at Hiroshima. That's half-true.
Nukes create mushroom clouds, but even a nuke a thousand times as big as Little Boy wouldn’t produce a mushroom cloud this size. (1/2)
Nukes create mushroom clouds, but even a nuke a thousand times as big as Little Boy wouldn’t produce a mushroom cloud this size. (1/2)
A Conservative MP named Colonel The Honourable Aubrey Nigel Henry Molyneux Herbert died from getting all his teeth removed.
He'd gone blind, and he heard that removing his teeth might restore his sight. He had other adventures too.
He'd gone blind, and he heard that removing his teeth might restore his sight. He had other adventures too.
October 5, 2025 at 4:10 PM
A Conservative MP named Colonel The Honourable Aubrey Nigel Henry Molyneux Herbert died from getting all his teeth removed.
He'd gone blind, and he heard that removing his teeth might restore his sight. He had other adventures too.
He'd gone blind, and he heard that removing his teeth might restore his sight. He had other adventures too.
Lady Gaga released a song this year that reviewers dismissively called "one of the only songs that doesn’t fit her vision."
After some debate, fans realized it's a Taylor Swift parody. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd_M...
After some debate, fans realized it's a Taylor Swift parody. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd_M...
Lady Gaga - How Bad Do U Want Me (Official Audio)
YouTube video by LadyGagaVEVO
www.youtube.com
October 4, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Lady Gaga released a song this year that reviewers dismissively called "one of the only songs that doesn’t fit her vision."
After some debate, fans realized it's a Taylor Swift parody. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd_M...
After some debate, fans realized it's a Taylor Swift parody. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd_M...