mεℓɩssα 🇨🇦
@melpollen.bsky.social
Irrepressible Thoughts of Death Barbie. Blonde who has been outdoors once.
Top 0.01% of bad at math.
IG:@enamelnailstudio
Top 0.01% of bad at math.
IG:@enamelnailstudio
Day 1 of begging @dropkickmurphys.com to please play Spicy Mchaggis at their Ottawa show 🙏🙏🙏
August 28, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Day 1 of begging @dropkickmurphys.com to please play Spicy Mchaggis at their Ottawa show 🙏🙏🙏
Reposted by mεℓɩssα 🇨🇦
Just once, when a girl scout knocks, I want to open the door dressed as the Cookie Monster and go fucking nuts.
May 19, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Just once, when a girl scout knocks, I want to open the door dressed as the Cookie Monster and go fucking nuts.
Sorry guys I keep forgetting this place exists
April 29, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Sorry guys I keep forgetting this place exists
*extremely @cinemasinsofficial.bsky.social voice* they said 'let's have him eating an apple so people will know he's an asshole'
This is a must read article on Poilievre and Trump.
bruce728.substack.com/p/trump-show...
bruce728.substack.com/p/trump-show...
Trump shows us what a rash narcissist can do to harm a country.
Pierre Poilievre isn't Trump. But they're alike in several ways.
bruce728.substack.com
April 29, 2025 at 9:01 PM
*extremely @cinemasinsofficial.bsky.social voice* they said 'let's have him eating an apple so people will know he's an asshole'
One of the most traumatic moments in my childhood was learning that piñatas don't come already stuffed with candy
January 28, 2025 at 1:25 AM
One of the most traumatic moments in my childhood was learning that piñatas don't come already stuffed with candy
Buying these sheets so I can say I Excel in bed
January 25, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Buying these sheets so I can say I Excel in bed
Telling girl friends you're losing weight: that's awesome, you'll feel so much healthier and more confident, etc etc
Telling guy friends you're losing weight: don't lose weight in your tits
Telling guy friends you're losing weight: don't lose weight in your tits
January 22, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Telling girl friends you're losing weight: that's awesome, you'll feel so much healthier and more confident, etc etc
Telling guy friends you're losing weight: don't lose weight in your tits
Telling guy friends you're losing weight: don't lose weight in your tits
Apparently today is Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year.
Pretty fitting that today is also inauguration day, the most depressing day of the next 4 years.
Pretty fitting that today is also inauguration day, the most depressing day of the next 4 years.
January 20, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Apparently today is Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year.
Pretty fitting that today is also inauguration day, the most depressing day of the next 4 years.
Pretty fitting that today is also inauguration day, the most depressing day of the next 4 years.
Sorry I yelled 'go go gadget boner' at your dick during sexytime but you said you were into foreplay
January 16, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Sorry I yelled 'go go gadget boner' at your dick during sexytime but you said you were into foreplay
Work: work from the office, it'll be fun
Also work: here's your new desk, you're missing a chair, a monitor, and your phone doesn't work, good luck!
Also work: here's your new desk, you're missing a chair, a monitor, and your phone doesn't work, good luck!
January 15, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Work: work from the office, it'll be fun
Also work: here's your new desk, you're missing a chair, a monitor, and your phone doesn't work, good luck!
Also work: here's your new desk, you're missing a chair, a monitor, and your phone doesn't work, good luck!
I've been keto for 24 hours why have I not dropped 60lbs yet this is bullshit 😂
January 13, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I've been keto for 24 hours why have I not dropped 60lbs yet this is bullshit 😂
Me: Why am I single?
Also me:
Also me:
January 7, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Me: Why am I single?
Also me:
Also me:
And here I am, once again, back on the overthinking express. Choo choo!
January 1, 2025 at 9:05 PM
And here I am, once again, back on the overthinking express. Choo choo!
In the week between Christmas and New Year, pie absolutely counts as adequate breakfast food. Follow me for more nutrition advice 😂
December 28, 2024 at 4:20 PM
In the week between Christmas and New Year, pie absolutely counts as adequate breakfast food. Follow me for more nutrition advice 😂
Sex on a train, call it getting Via Railed
December 27, 2024 at 8:24 PM
Sex on a train, call it getting Via Railed
Merry Christmas, friends 🎄🎁🎉🎅
December 25, 2024 at 1:56 PM
Merry Christmas, friends 🎄🎁🎉🎅
Might just jingle some of the way idk
December 24, 2024 at 11:09 PM
Might just jingle some of the way idk
My 69 year old father just learned that narwhals are real animals, not just something made up for Elf and it's the funniest thing I've ever heard
December 23, 2024 at 1:53 AM
My 69 year old father just learned that narwhals are real animals, not just something made up for Elf and it's the funniest thing I've ever heard
I keep forgetting this place exists
December 21, 2024 at 4:11 AM
I keep forgetting this place exists
Getting sick after the Eras tour, call it Swiftdrawals
December 10, 2024 at 1:32 AM
Getting sick after the Eras tour, call it Swiftdrawals
Me: *projectile vomits water all over the driveway* and thus concludes my impression of a Nerf Supersoaker
December 9, 2024 at 6:08 PM
Me: *projectile vomits water all over the driveway* and thus concludes my impression of a Nerf Supersoaker
Adventures in Swiftieland pt 1
December 6, 2024 at 8:29 PM
Adventures in Swiftieland pt 1