Melissa Todd
@melissartodd.bsky.social
Writer, performer, elderly model. Enjoys late Victorian fiction and breath play.
Melissatodd.co.uk
Melissatodd.co.uk
Pinned
I've been called a "washed up prozzy" for writing this. Why, I'm at the very peak of my career. Also, not relevant.
www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/...
www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/...
‘Nobody risks drowning in the Channel for a shot at stallion-handling’
KentOnline columnist Melissa Todd attended a UKIP gathering and counter protest at the weekend, here is what she encountered…
www.kentonline.co.uk
October 1, 2025 at 9:21 PM
I've been called a "washed up prozzy" for writing this. Why, I'm at the very peak of my career. Also, not relevant.
www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/...
www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/...
"Do you enjoy hurting people?"
With the earnest and delightful Alex Branson Cole.
youtu.be/dO9qNNCKz6s?...
With the earnest and delightful Alex Branson Cole.
youtu.be/dO9qNNCKz6s?...
Alex Branson-Cole Faversham's Boxer competing in the Southern Area Title Fight.
YouTube video by Radio Faversham
youtu.be
August 31, 2025 at 12:10 PM
"Do you enjoy hurting people?"
With the earnest and delightful Alex Branson Cole.
youtu.be/dO9qNNCKz6s?...
With the earnest and delightful Alex Branson Cole.
youtu.be/dO9qNNCKz6s?...
New book available on Waterstones website too, Amazon haters! www.waterstones.com/book/gag-wri...
Gag Writer by Melissa Todd | Waterstones
Buy Gag Writer by Melissa Todd from Waterstones today! Click and Collect from your local Waterstones or get FREE UK delivery on orders over £25.
www.waterstones.com
August 28, 2025 at 6:01 PM
New book available on Waterstones website too, Amazon haters! www.waterstones.com/book/gag-wri...
Reading from the new book at Screaming alley cabaret last night!
August 20, 2025 at 7:35 AM
Reading from the new book at Screaming alley cabaret last night!
Reposted by Melissa Todd
Saw @melissartodd.bsky.social yesterday in Gravesend reading from her new book and I absolutely recommend picking it up www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0FBL712S...
I haven't finished it yet but it's incredibly well written, very funny, and she was quite lovely in person too. So yeah. Buy this book is my advice
I haven't finished it yet but it's incredibly well written, very funny, and she was quite lovely in person too. So yeah. Buy this book is my advice
Gag Writer: 129 of her best Love It! columns: Amazon.co.uk: Todd, Melissa: 9798308328230: Books
Buy Gag Writer: 129 of her best Love It! columns by Todd, Melissa (ISBN: 9798308328230) from Amazon's Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.
www.amazon.co.uk
August 18, 2025 at 8:07 AM
Saw @melissartodd.bsky.social yesterday in Gravesend reading from her new book and I absolutely recommend picking it up www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0FBL712S...
I haven't finished it yet but it's incredibly well written, very funny, and she was quite lovely in person too. So yeah. Buy this book is my advice
I haven't finished it yet but it's incredibly well written, very funny, and she was quite lovely in person too. So yeah. Buy this book is my advice
A week today I will be in Gravesend reading from the new book and telling a few mucky anecdotes and it would be absolutely ripping were some of you to join me. facebook.com/events/s/hol...
Holy Moly featuring Melissa Todd
Event in Gravesend, United Kingdom by Holy Moly Spoken Word on Sunday, August 17 2025
facebook.com
August 10, 2025 at 8:56 PM
A week today I will be in Gravesend reading from the new book and telling a few mucky anecdotes and it would be absolutely ripping were some of you to join me. facebook.com/events/s/hol...
From July 27 to August 10 I will have no internet access. At all. No phone, no nothing. So if you message me here or elsewhere I will not see it. Not ignoring you or dead, just off grid. And I can't tell you why either. Yet. But it's not prison.
July 22, 2025 at 9:21 PM
From July 27 to August 10 I will have no internet access. At all. No phone, no nothing. So if you message me here or elsewhere I will not see it. Not ignoring you or dead, just off grid. And I can't tell you why either. Yet. But it's not prison.
Look! Love it! contains a Qr code so you can get to my book direct! With huge thanks to @graemealdy.bsky.social for making it happen. Thrilled!
July 17, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Look! Love it! contains a Qr code so you can get to my book direct! With huge thanks to @graemealdy.bsky.social for making it happen. Thrilled!
On blackmail kinks. For Love it! magazine. Out today! Only 99p!
July 10, 2025 at 10:46 AM
On blackmail kinks. For Love it! magazine. Out today! Only 99p!
Gag Writer now available on audible as well as in paperback and kindle form. Listen to my daft posh voice drone on for flipping hours by clicking here: amzn.eu/d/ixLqpwb
Gag Writer: 129 of the Best Love It! Columns (Audio Download): Melissa Todd, Melissa Todd, Hags Ahoy: Amazon.co.uk: Audible Books & Originals
Gag Writer: 129 of the Best Love It! Columns (Audio Download): Melissa Todd, Melissa Todd, Hags Ahoy: Amazon.co.uk: Audible Books & Originals
amzn.eu
July 9, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Gag Writer now available on audible as well as in paperback and kindle form. Listen to my daft posh voice drone on for flipping hours by clicking here: amzn.eu/d/ixLqpwb
New bookshop is open! Plunder, 32 High street, Ramsgate. Come say hi!
June 29, 2025 at 5:38 AM
New bookshop is open! Plunder, 32 High street, Ramsgate. Come say hi!
Look, I am third in the urban legends category! Right after swearing and shitting.
June 26, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Look, I am third in the urban legends category! Right after swearing and shitting.
It's publication day! amzn.eu/d/73RIMD8
June 26, 2025 at 5:32 PM
It's publication day! amzn.eu/d/73RIMD8
Thank you! X
Just got my advanced copies of Gag Writer by @melissartodd.bsky.social
A cracking read for the beach, the plane or the poolside or even the back garden this summer.
Out on June 26. Order now.
Back copies by the same author also available.
A cracking read for the beach, the plane or the poolside or even the back garden this summer.
Out on June 26. Order now.
Back copies by the same author also available.
June 19, 2025 at 9:13 AM
Thank you! X
My new book, Gag Writer, is out June 26th! Kindle, paperback or audio, read by me! Huge thanks to the fine folk at Love it! for their help. amzn.eu/d/hnTsy2V
June 1, 2025 at 6:43 PM
My new book, Gag Writer, is out June 26th! Kindle, paperback or audio, read by me! Huge thanks to the fine folk at Love it! for their help. amzn.eu/d/hnTsy2V
On teaching three women how to domme, for Love it! magazine. Out today.
May 22, 2025 at 11:00 AM
On teaching three women how to domme, for Love it! magazine. Out today.
Journeying to Canterbury with a strap on and two pairs of dirty pants to post like a deleted scene from Chaucer.
May 22, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Journeying to Canterbury with a strap on and two pairs of dirty pants to post like a deleted scene from Chaucer.
Time for me to take off one pair of pants and put on another pair of pants and refer to it as "my career".
May 21, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Time for me to take off one pair of pants and put on another pair of pants and refer to it as "my career".
Wait...did we just rejoin the EU?
May 19, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Wait...did we just rejoin the EU?
Chap asking if I'd like to "try anything special" in our session, like I don't session 12x a week. Yeah I'd like to try this new kink where you don't ask stupid questions thanks.
May 19, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Chap asking if I'd like to "try anything special" in our session, like I don't session 12x a week. Yeah I'd like to try this new kink where you don't ask stupid questions thanks.
Suddenly everyone wants to buy my dirty knickers. What's that about? Can't dirty them fast enough.
May 19, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Suddenly everyone wants to buy my dirty knickers. What's that about? Can't dirty them fast enough.