Melissa Attree
@melattree.bsky.social
Marketing & Branding Consultant.
👉🏻Corny Joke Fridays
digitalmagpie.beehiiv.com for my sporadic newsletter with interesting online discoveries.
👉🏻Corny Joke Fridays
digitalmagpie.beehiiv.com for my sporadic newsletter with interesting online discoveries.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare-line.
November 14, 2025 at 7:19 AM
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare-line.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
November 7, 2025 at 7:44 AM
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.
October 31, 2025 at 7:46 AM
I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.
A well executed theft without any fingerprints is a stainless steal.
October 24, 2025 at 5:51 AM
A well executed theft without any fingerprints is a stainless steal.
A man walks into a library and asks where the books on paranoia are. The librarian replies, “Look over your shoulder.”
October 17, 2025 at 9:01 AM
A man walks into a library and asks where the books on paranoia are. The librarian replies, “Look over your shoulder.”
I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.
October 10, 2025 at 7:10 AM
I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.
I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap.
October 3, 2025 at 7:13 AM
I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the nobell prize.
He won the nobell prize.
September 27, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the nobell prize.
He won the nobell prize.
Why did the crab cross the road?
It didn’t, it used the sidewalk.
It didn’t, it used the sidewalk.
September 19, 2025 at 11:45 AM
Why did the crab cross the road?
It didn’t, it used the sidewalk.
It didn’t, it used the sidewalk.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycombs
Because they use a honeycombs
September 12, 2025 at 7:25 AM
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycombs
Because they use a honeycombs
What kind of music do balloons like?
Pop
Pop
September 5, 2025 at 9:16 AM
What kind of music do balloons like?
Pop
Pop
I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5.
Turns out he only does odd jobs.
Turns out he only does odd jobs.
August 29, 2025 at 7:01 AM
I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5.
Turns out he only does odd jobs.
Turns out he only does odd jobs.
What does a nosy pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business
It gets jalapeño business
August 22, 2025 at 6:13 AM
What does a nosy pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business
It gets jalapeño business
Why did the banana visit the doctor?
She wasn’t peeling well.
She wasn’t peeling well.
August 15, 2025 at 8:33 AM
Why did the banana visit the doctor?
She wasn’t peeling well.
She wasn’t peeling well.
Why was the little strawberry crying. Because he was in a jam.
August 10, 2025 at 6:15 AM
Why was the little strawberry crying. Because he was in a jam.
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!
August 1, 2025 at 6:31 AM
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!
Some people think my dad jokes are childish, which is ridiculous.
They are obviously full groan.
They are obviously full groan.
July 25, 2025 at 6:13 AM
Some people think my dad jokes are childish, which is ridiculous.
They are obviously full groan.
They are obviously full groan.
What vegetable is cool, but not that cool?
Radish.
Radish.
July 18, 2025 at 1:42 PM
What vegetable is cool, but not that cool?
Radish.
Radish.
Be careful not to buy too many art supplies. You could have an excess stencil crisis.
July 11, 2025 at 9:13 AM
Be careful not to buy too many art supplies. You could have an excess stencil crisis.
Why aren’t Koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the Koalifications.
They don’t meet the Koalifications.
July 4, 2025 at 6:58 AM
Why aren’t Koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the Koalifications.
They don’t meet the Koalifications.
Where does a lizard go after it drops its tail?
To the retail store.
To the retail store.
June 27, 2025 at 6:14 AM
Where does a lizard go after it drops its tail?
To the retail store.
To the retail store.
Why do ducks have feathers on their tails? To cover their butt quacks
June 20, 2025 at 6:13 AM
Why do ducks have feathers on their tails? To cover their butt quacks
Reposted by Melissa Attree
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.
An irrelephant.
June 13, 2025 at 6:35 AM
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.
An irrelephant.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
A carrot.
June 7, 2025 at 8:17 AM
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
A carrot.