Yolk & Oil
@mayonnaisehands.bsky.social
Middle aged single parent of two cats and one husband.
Pinned
Yolk & Oil
@mayonnaisehands.bsky.social
· Nov 19
I had a nightmare that I was drinking a Diet Coke
Two Time Loser Cuomo
November 5, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Two Time Loser Cuomo
February 11. Never forget
He’s shooting his friend in the face in the sky now
November 4, 2025 at 9:02 PM
February 11. Never forget
Fuck Dick Cheney. Rot in hell.
November 4, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Fuck Dick Cheney. Rot in hell.
This little man kills me
November 3, 2025 at 4:59 AM
This little man kills me
I desperately wanted to ask my dentist if he dreams (has nightmares) of disembodied mouths and or teeth but I figured it was inappropriate
October 25, 2025 at 12:01 AM
I desperately wanted to ask my dentist if he dreams (has nightmares) of disembodied mouths and or teeth but I figured it was inappropriate
Robin Hood confirmed that I was A. attracted to a cartoon and B. not a furry
October 24, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Robin Hood confirmed that I was A. attracted to a cartoon and B. not a furry
A short, sentimental list about Key Chains by mayonnaise hands
October 20, 2025 at 8:27 PM
A short, sentimental list about Key Chains by mayonnaise hands
If you don't think Afghan Hounds look like Judith Light we can't be friends
October 19, 2025 at 10:46 PM
If you don't think Afghan Hounds look like Judith Light we can't be friends
Did anyone ever realize that Ash Ketchum's last name foretold his future? He had to Catch 'Em all. Get it? Katchum. Catch 'em.
October 19, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Did anyone ever realize that Ash Ketchum's last name foretold his future? He had to Catch 'Em all. Get it? Katchum. Catch 'em.
Are people really out here raw-dogging YouTube?
October 18, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Are people really out here raw-dogging YouTube?
Turning off uBlock Origin and refreshing a YouTube page is fucking frightening.
October 18, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Turning off uBlock Origin and refreshing a YouTube page is fucking frightening.
Points to Angela Lansbury on the TV: Is she still alive in real life?
October 15, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Points to Angela Lansbury on the TV: Is she still alive in real life?
While it's sad she died, it was pretty funny that Diane Keaton's wiki page cited that she died in the Los Angeles fires. Riffraff will riffraff until the cops show up.
October 12, 2025 at 6:25 AM
While it's sad she died, it was pretty funny that Diane Keaton's wiki page cited that she died in the Los Angeles fires. Riffraff will riffraff until the cops show up.
Filthy Frank foretold the prophecy and will forever be culturally relevant
October 10, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Filthy Frank foretold the prophecy and will forever be culturally relevant
My reflux pills live in my nightstand next to my vibrator
October 8, 2025 at 5:58 AM
My reflux pills live in my nightstand next to my vibrator
We forced Jimmy give up his peanut farm and now Trump has a website where you can give him money
October 8, 2025 at 4:19 AM
We forced Jimmy give up his peanut farm and now Trump has a website where you can give him money
Him: Did you see the harvest moon last night? I text you about it.
His Text: Moon big
His Text: Moon big
October 8, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Him: Did you see the harvest moon last night? I text you about it.
His Text: Moon big
His Text: Moon big
Ya' know there really is something to be said about drinking a soda out of a 32oz styrofoam cup when it's 90 degrees outside in October
October 8, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Ya' know there really is something to be said about drinking a soda out of a 32oz styrofoam cup when it's 90 degrees outside in October
To the lovely lady at the Seattle Airport horking in the bathroom stall next to me... I feel you, girl.
October 3, 2025 at 3:50 PM
To the lovely lady at the Seattle Airport horking in the bathroom stall next to me... I feel you, girl.
Jane Goodall was cool as hell. I was obsessed with watching documentaries about her work and thought she was rad as fuck for wanting to chill with primates
October 1, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Jane Goodall was cool as hell. I was obsessed with watching documentaries about her work and thought she was rad as fuck for wanting to chill with primates
I slammed a Choco Pie right after I was done working out
September 24, 2025 at 1:47 AM
I slammed a Choco Pie right after I was done working out
“... we’ll have dinner together at a local restaurant and we’ll be able to walk. We don’t have to go by an armored plated vehicle.”
Trump went to dinner earlier this month a few blocks from the White House to show it was safe even for him to venture out.
He rode over in his armored limousine
Trump went to dinner earlier this month a few blocks from the White House to show it was safe even for him to venture out.
He rode over in his armored limousine
September 23, 2025 at 3:12 PM
“... we’ll have dinner together at a local restaurant and we’ll be able to walk. We don’t have to go by an armored plated vehicle.”
Trump went to dinner earlier this month a few blocks from the White House to show it was safe even for him to venture out.
He rode over in his armored limousine
Trump went to dinner earlier this month a few blocks from the White House to show it was safe even for him to venture out.
He rode over in his armored limousine
If you were ever wondering what being 5'1" at a concert was like, it's like this
September 21, 2025 at 1:11 AM
If you were ever wondering what being 5'1" at a concert was like, it's like this
There is no way iTunes Visualizer was ever as good as Milk Drop
September 21, 2025 at 12:53 AM
There is no way iTunes Visualizer was ever as good as Milk Drop