Matt Oswalt
@mattoswaltva.bsky.social
remember me? We met on Twitter and would get together every Tuesday afternoon at the Motel 6 outside Fresno.
just a hopeless romantic looking to spend Valentines Day with an Ivy League woman into classy cinema, soft music, the calming feel of ocean waves, and sunsets.
February 14, 2026 at 9:45 PM
just a hopeless romantic looking to spend Valentines Day with an Ivy League woman into classy cinema, soft music, the calming feel of ocean waves, and sunsets.
"Why are you protecting pedophiles?"
PAM BONDI:
PAM BONDI:
February 11, 2026 at 5:48 PM
"Why are you protecting pedophiles?"
PAM BONDI:
PAM BONDI:
See what happens when you eliminate DEI, trans, political correct wokeness and instead focus on excellence?
The most successful pedophile ring in the world!!!
The most successful pedophile ring in the world!!!
February 9, 2026 at 10:38 PM
See what happens when you eliminate DEI, trans, political correct wokeness and instead focus on excellence?
The most successful pedophile ring in the world!!!
The most successful pedophile ring in the world!!!
Bad Bunny gave his Grammy to Liam Ramos though I thought the most emotional moment of the night was when Kid Rock brought Erica Kirk up on stage and gave her herpes
February 9, 2026 at 3:19 AM
Bad Bunny gave his Grammy to Liam Ramos though I thought the most emotional moment of the night was when Kid Rock brought Erica Kirk up on stage and gave her herpes
it's Cinemax After Dark night at the New Beverly Cinema.
www.instagram.com/mattoswaltva/
www.instagram.com/mattoswaltva/
February 8, 2026 at 2:49 AM
it's Cinemax After Dark night at the New Beverly Cinema.
www.instagram.com/mattoswaltva/
www.instagram.com/mattoswaltva/
I grew up on the Washington Post, especially the sports section. Shirley Povich, Michael Wilbon, Sally Jenkins, Tony Kornheiser. All gone.
Though if Jeff Bezos was forced to end 150 years of journalism in order to give the gift of the Melania documentary to the world, it was worth it.
Though if Jeff Bezos was forced to end 150 years of journalism in order to give the gift of the Melania documentary to the world, it was worth it.
February 4, 2026 at 5:35 PM
I grew up on the Washington Post, especially the sports section. Shirley Povich, Michael Wilbon, Sally Jenkins, Tony Kornheiser. All gone.
Though if Jeff Bezos was forced to end 150 years of journalism in order to give the gift of the Melania documentary to the world, it was worth it.
Though if Jeff Bezos was forced to end 150 years of journalism in order to give the gift of the Melania documentary to the world, it was worth it.
Ed Gein: "It's not a crime to make furniture."
February 3, 2026 at 2:57 AM
Ed Gein: "It's not a crime to make furniture."
maybe if Trump raped children while wearing a tan suit MAGA might care
February 1, 2026 at 5:19 PM
maybe if Trump raped children while wearing a tan suit MAGA might care
more details have been released about the guy who sprayed Ilhan Omar with apple cider vinegar last night than the guy who tried to assassinate Trump over a year ago.
January 28, 2026 at 11:19 PM
more details have been released about the guy who sprayed Ilhan Omar with apple cider vinegar last night than the guy who tried to assassinate Trump over a year ago.
Melania reviews are out
January 28, 2026 at 10:21 PM
Melania reviews are out
Happy Birthday to my brother who has won more Grammys than The Who, Guns N Roses, The Doors, Queen, Rush, The Velvet Underground, Diana Ross, The Beach Boys, Kiss, Janis Joplin, Depeche Mode, ABBA, Deep Purple, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Jimi Hendrix, Kiss, Bob Marley, and Chuck Berry combined
January 28, 2026 at 1:15 AM
Happy Birthday to my brother who has won more Grammys than The Who, Guns N Roses, The Doors, Queen, Rush, The Velvet Underground, Diana Ross, The Beach Boys, Kiss, Janis Joplin, Depeche Mode, ABBA, Deep Purple, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Jimi Hendrix, Kiss, Bob Marley, and Chuck Berry combined
Greg Bovino has left ICE to spend more time playing a Zoltar machine
January 27, 2026 at 12:56 AM
Greg Bovino has left ICE to spend more time playing a Zoltar machine
I've meticulously analyzed the ICE shooting in Minnesota frame by frame and have reached the conclusion that only 2% of the Epstein files have been released and Trump is mentioned over 1500 times.
January 26, 2026 at 11:40 PM
I've meticulously analyzed the ICE shooting in Minnesota frame by frame and have reached the conclusion that only 2% of the Epstein files have been released and Trump is mentioned over 1500 times.
if you're trying to impress Jodie Foster now's the time
January 25, 2026 at 8:52 PM
if you're trying to impress Jodie Foster now's the time
This is a rehearsal for the midterms.
Expect Trump's ICE Gestapo to pick fights and randomly shoot voters waiting in line in blue states to give them the excuse they need to shut down polling places.
Expect Trump's ICE Gestapo to pick fights and randomly shoot voters waiting in line in blue states to give them the excuse they need to shut down polling places.
January 24, 2026 at 11:09 PM
This is a rehearsal for the midterms.
Expect Trump's ICE Gestapo to pick fights and randomly shoot voters waiting in line in blue states to give them the excuse they need to shut down polling places.
Expect Trump's ICE Gestapo to pick fights and randomly shoot voters waiting in line in blue states to give them the excuse they need to shut down polling places.
no matter how hard Greg Bovino tries to exude rugged masculinity he always comes off like Don Knotts in a Portlandia sketch
January 23, 2026 at 2:41 AM
no matter how hard Greg Bovino tries to exude rugged masculinity he always comes off like Don Knotts in a Portlandia sketch
when he finally does die they'll hide it from the public long enough for everyone around him to cut immunity deals
January 22, 2026 at 8:09 PM
when he finally does die they'll hide it from the public long enough for everyone around him to cut immunity deals
for anyone wondering why after months of threats Trump negotiated the exact same deal with Greenland that's been in place for years thereby accomplishing nothing, when his father Fred Trump had dementia they built a fake office where he'd go every day and sign blank contracts for pretend deals
January 22, 2026 at 2:55 AM
for anyone wondering why after months of threats Trump negotiated the exact same deal with Greenland that's been in place for years thereby accomplishing nothing, when his father Fred Trump had dementia they built a fake office where he'd go every day and sign blank contracts for pretend deals
rewatching I, Claudius and you gotta hand it to the Roman's, they knew exactly how to handle a demented old tyrant who's lived too long
January 21, 2026 at 12:07 AM
rewatching I, Claudius and you gotta hand it to the Roman's, they knew exactly how to handle a demented old tyrant who's lived too long
quick someone award Jeffrey Epstein a Greatest Pedophile Ever medal and Trump will get so jealous he'll release the Epstein Files just to prove he deserves it more
January 20, 2026 at 1:04 AM
quick someone award Jeffrey Epstein a Greatest Pedophile Ever medal and Trump will get so jealous he'll release the Epstein Files just to prove he deserves it more
so all it's gonna take to stop Trump from going to war with Canada is for Glass Tiger to give him their Juno Award?
January 15, 2026 at 11:23 PM
so all it's gonna take to stop Trump from going to war with Canada is for Glass Tiger to give him their Juno Award?
somewhere in the vast ocean a fish is just swimming along completely unaware it'll soon be caught, filleted, breaded, deep fried, topped with tarter sauce and cheese, shoved in a bun, devoured, release the exact dose of cholesterol needed to stop a heartbeat, and save humanity from ruin
January 15, 2026 at 9:42 PM
somewhere in the vast ocean a fish is just swimming along completely unaware it'll soon be caught, filleted, breaded, deep fried, topped with tarter sauce and cheese, shoved in a bun, devoured, release the exact dose of cholesterol needed to stop a heartbeat, and save humanity from ruin
damn, they even put some underage girls next to him and he STILL couldn't stay awake
January 15, 2026 at 1:55 AM
damn, they even put some underage girls next to him and he STILL couldn't stay awake
1933 - Reichstag Fire
2026 - suburban mom driving Honda Pilot 3MPH
2026 - suburban mom driving Honda Pilot 3MPH
January 8, 2026 at 3:36 AM
1933 - Reichstag Fire
2026 - suburban mom driving Honda Pilot 3MPH
2026 - suburban mom driving Honda Pilot 3MPH
I hate Minnesota Nazis, too
January 8, 2026 at 2:12 AM
I hate Minnesota Nazis, too