Marvin the Paranoid Android
@marvintherobot666.bsky.social
They/them 🏳️🌈
Science lover 🔬
Biomedical major 🧪
Douglas Adams fan (if that wasn't obvious)
Fuckin' love Hank Green
AuDHD haver
Trans rights, because even as an android I have basic human empathy 🏳️⚧️
Wish I were Canadian right now 🇨🇦🫡
Science lover 🔬
Biomedical major 🧪
Douglas Adams fan (if that wasn't obvious)
Fuckin' love Hank Green
AuDHD haver
Trans rights, because even as an android I have basic human empathy 🏳️⚧️
Wish I were Canadian right now 🇨🇦🫡
ICE agents are all just trying to get some extra cash so that they can afford the dick lengthening surgeries and ball implants, cause lord knows they're severely lacking in both right now.
February 2, 2026 at 3:58 PM
ICE agents are all just trying to get some extra cash so that they can afford the dick lengthening surgeries and ball implants, cause lord knows they're severely lacking in both right now.
Um, so I just called my dermatologist and instead of making me wait on the line for like, 10 minutes they're holding my spot in line and calling me back when they're free??? THIS WHOLE TIME THAT WAS AN OPTION??
February 2, 2026 at 3:54 PM
Um, so I just called my dermatologist and instead of making me wait on the line for like, 10 minutes they're holding my spot in line and calling me back when they're free??? THIS WHOLE TIME THAT WAS AN OPTION??
The "Melania" documentary director being photographed with Epstein is the ABSOLUTE MOST UNSURPRISING THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
February 1, 2026 at 10:56 PM
The "Melania" documentary director being photographed with Epstein is the ABSOLUTE MOST UNSURPRISING THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
Swatting is a horrible crime that no one should ever commit. That being said, the next time someone says "They should just comply" I'm calling SWAT on their house to see how well they handle that situation.
January 31, 2026 at 3:29 PM
Swatting is a horrible crime that no one should ever commit. That being said, the next time someone says "They should just comply" I'm calling SWAT on their house to see how well they handle that situation.
America is so fucked right now that my college literally sent out an email to students acknowledging the recent news and directing us towards mental health resources.
January 30, 2026 at 3:33 PM
America is so fucked right now that my college literally sent out an email to students acknowledging the recent news and directing us towards mental health resources.
If I were a doctor and my patient could not remember the word "Alzheimer's" while explaining to me that he's perfectly mentally competent, I'd have him admitted.
January 30, 2026 at 3:31 PM
If I were a doctor and my patient could not remember the word "Alzheimer's" while explaining to me that he's perfectly mentally competent, I'd have him admitted.
I hope that the Democrats that fold like a fucking leaf knows that when it comes time to tell of the horrors people were subjected to by ICE, they will be on the side of the villains.
Grow a fucking spine or get the fuck out. We're done with this bullshit, and trust me- voters won't forget this.
Grow a fucking spine or get the fuck out. We're done with this bullshit, and trust me- voters won't forget this.
January 30, 2026 at 3:29 PM
I hope that the Democrats that fold like a fucking leaf knows that when it comes time to tell of the horrors people were subjected to by ICE, they will be on the side of the villains.
Grow a fucking spine or get the fuck out. We're done with this bullshit, and trust me- voters won't forget this.
Grow a fucking spine or get the fuck out. We're done with this bullshit, and trust me- voters won't forget this.
I've learned a neat hack for changing minds.
If someone tells me they support ICE and deporting immigrants, I show them the videos taken from outside detention camps where you can hear women and children screaming for help.
Really makes them have to bend over backwards to justify it.
If someone tells me they support ICE and deporting immigrants, I show them the videos taken from outside detention camps where you can hear women and children screaming for help.
Really makes them have to bend over backwards to justify it.
January 30, 2026 at 3:26 PM
I've learned a neat hack for changing minds.
If someone tells me they support ICE and deporting immigrants, I show them the videos taken from outside detention camps where you can hear women and children screaming for help.
Really makes them have to bend over backwards to justify it.
If someone tells me they support ICE and deporting immigrants, I show them the videos taken from outside detention camps where you can hear women and children screaming for help.
Really makes them have to bend over backwards to justify it.
ICE has killed so many people so far, as opposed to protesters that (to my current knowledge) haven't killed any ICE agents. So, statistically, an ICE agent is more likely to be killed by another ICE agent than a protester. Also they killed a baby with a pepper bomb.
January 29, 2026 at 1:42 PM
ICE has killed so many people so far, as opposed to protesters that (to my current knowledge) haven't killed any ICE agents. So, statistically, an ICE agent is more likely to be killed by another ICE agent than a protester. Also they killed a baby with a pepper bomb.
The fact that the DOJ is blatantly flying in the face of the law just to prevent the release of the Epstein Files makes me think there's something even more horrendous than what we already know (that Trump is a bonafide pedophile). Either he's also a baby murderer, or he's secretly gay. Or both.
January 22, 2026 at 10:25 PM
The fact that the DOJ is blatantly flying in the face of the law just to prevent the release of the Epstein Files makes me think there's something even more horrendous than what we already know (that Trump is a bonafide pedophile). Either he's also a baby murderer, or he's secretly gay. Or both.
Glad that ICE has finally dropped the facade that they're only going after violent criminals. Unless they're gonna claim the five year old was involved in MS13.
January 22, 2026 at 10:20 PM
Glad that ICE has finally dropped the facade that they're only going after violent criminals. Unless they're gonna claim the five year old was involved in MS13.
I can't possibly imagine living in a world where creationism is true because dinosaurs are just cool as fuck. Who needs proof of a divine force when we have giant lizards?
January 22, 2026 at 4:05 PM
I can't possibly imagine living in a world where creationism is true because dinosaurs are just cool as fuck. Who needs proof of a divine force when we have giant lizards?
A study just proved that Tylenol has nothing to do with Autism. Who could've guessed.
January 22, 2026 at 3:52 AM
A study just proved that Tylenol has nothing to do with Autism. Who could've guessed.
If ICE can kill an innocent woman in "self-defense" then I think citizens whose homes are being broken into violently and detained by masked men with no regard for their safety or their lives should be able to defend themselves as well.
January 18, 2026 at 4:52 PM
If ICE can kill an innocent woman in "self-defense" then I think citizens whose homes are being broken into violently and detained by masked men with no regard for their safety or their lives should be able to defend themselves as well.
MAGA boomers at my pharmacy starting to realize that voting for Trump may have been a bad idea when their $0 prescription is suddenly costing $100+ is actually the highlight of my day.
January 16, 2026 at 4:48 PM
MAGA boomers at my pharmacy starting to realize that voting for Trump may have been a bad idea when their $0 prescription is suddenly costing $100+ is actually the highlight of my day.
Is he back on the Greenland bullshit? Damn we must be getting close to releasing the Epstein Files.
January 16, 2026 at 4:46 PM
Is he back on the Greenland bullshit? Damn we must be getting close to releasing the Epstein Files.
I'm sorry, but a woman is murdered by an "officer" and their widow is being investigated while the "officer" is left alone? Am I in the fucking twilight zone?
January 16, 2026 at 4:44 PM
I'm sorry, but a woman is murdered by an "officer" and their widow is being investigated while the "officer" is left alone? Am I in the fucking twilight zone?
Remembering the time I was talking about the phlebotomy kit I bought and one of my friends overheard and very fearfully said "..w..what? You can still.. buy that?" And I was like, "Yeah.. med students use them." And she was even more horrified. Long story short she thought I said lobotomy kit.
January 13, 2026 at 4:57 PM
Remembering the time I was talking about the phlebotomy kit I bought and one of my friends overheard and very fearfully said "..w..what? You can still.. buy that?" And I was like, "Yeah.. med students use them." And she was even more horrified. Long story short she thought I said lobotomy kit.
Warning to all cat owners:
DO NOT keep your cat's treats in a cabinet you intend to open regularly or else you will be harassed endlessly everytime you try to grab a goddamn paper towel roll.
DO NOT keep your cat's treats in a cabinet you intend to open regularly or else you will be harassed endlessly everytime you try to grab a goddamn paper towel roll.
January 9, 2026 at 7:52 PM
Warning to all cat owners:
DO NOT keep your cat's treats in a cabinet you intend to open regularly or else you will be harassed endlessly everytime you try to grab a goddamn paper towel roll.
DO NOT keep your cat's treats in a cabinet you intend to open regularly or else you will be harassed endlessly everytime you try to grab a goddamn paper towel roll.
Saw someone reply to the
*"It's like holding a sirloin steak in front of a dog and telling him not to eat it."*
By saying that anyone who genuinely agrees with this analogy needs to be neutered and kept on a leash and just thought I should share that today.
*"It's like holding a sirloin steak in front of a dog and telling him not to eat it."*
By saying that anyone who genuinely agrees with this analogy needs to be neutered and kept on a leash and just thought I should share that today.
January 7, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Saw someone reply to the
*"It's like holding a sirloin steak in front of a dog and telling him not to eat it."*
By saying that anyone who genuinely agrees with this analogy needs to be neutered and kept on a leash and just thought I should share that today.
*"It's like holding a sirloin steak in front of a dog and telling him not to eat it."*
By saying that anyone who genuinely agrees with this analogy needs to be neutered and kept on a leash and just thought I should share that today.
If there was a benevolent God we would be able to talk to pets so that they would know how much we love them.
January 6, 2026 at 6:02 PM
If there was a benevolent God we would be able to talk to pets so that they would know how much we love them.
Bought a stuffed animal today and the woman at the counter said, "I'm sure your little one will LOVE this!"
I'm the little one. And yes, I do love it.
I'm the little one. And yes, I do love it.
January 3, 2026 at 2:43 AM
Bought a stuffed animal today and the woman at the counter said, "I'm sure your little one will LOVE this!"
I'm the little one. And yes, I do love it.
I'm the little one. And yes, I do love it.
No better way to start the year then shaving your fat ass cat's butt cause he's too fat to clean himself right. He's on a diet btw, down three pounds from this time last year (but still fat as hell)
December 31, 2025 at 4:05 PM
No better way to start the year then shaving your fat ass cat's butt cause he's too fat to clean himself right. He's on a diet btw, down three pounds from this time last year (but still fat as hell)
If the price of an ambulance ride doesn't get fixed imma have to get a medical bracelet that says "in case of an emergency, put my ass in an Uber"
December 29, 2025 at 12:25 AM
If the price of an ambulance ride doesn't get fixed imma have to get a medical bracelet that says "in case of an emergency, put my ass in an Uber"
I think it's funny when people come onto Bluesky and complain that everything is politics. Bestie, do you know where you are? This is liberal Twitter, what were you expecting?
Do you go to a retirement home and ask why everyone is old there?
Do you go to a retirement home and ask why everyone is old there?
December 24, 2025 at 8:06 PM
I think it's funny when people come onto Bluesky and complain that everything is politics. Bestie, do you know where you are? This is liberal Twitter, what were you expecting?
Do you go to a retirement home and ask why everyone is old there?
Do you go to a retirement home and ask why everyone is old there?