Marjhak
@marjhak.bsky.social
She/They
~10 minutes older than you
🏳️⚧️
Walking stereotype
Certified Oreo muncher
~10 minutes older than you
🏳️⚧️
Walking stereotype
Certified Oreo muncher
Pinned
Marjhak
@marjhak.bsky.social
· Apr 9
Might as well get started, eh?
During my time on Twitter, I would often use it to scream into the void, but in quieter, more subdued ways. However, nobody I know is actually on this platform, so I can scream all I want.
This both can and will be a journal of my mind, both the good and very bad.
During my time on Twitter, I would often use it to scream into the void, but in quieter, more subdued ways. However, nobody I know is actually on this platform, so I can scream all I want.
This both can and will be a journal of my mind, both the good and very bad.
It's kinda crazy how sometimes things work out in very different ways if you have people around you.
I finished a game the other day that was... shall we say, emotionally resonant. And I was in a call with a friend streaming it to him as I played.
I finished a game the other day that was... shall we say, emotionally resonant. And I was in a call with a friend streaming it to him as I played.
October 20, 2025 at 11:44 PM
It's kinda crazy how sometimes things work out in very different ways if you have people around you.
I finished a game the other day that was... shall we say, emotionally resonant. And I was in a call with a friend streaming it to him as I played.
I finished a game the other day that was... shall we say, emotionally resonant. And I was in a call with a friend streaming it to him as I played.
I am awake at 9:30 in the morning.
Why am I awake.
I want to be asleep so I can pretend the world can't hurt me and my feelings don't exist.
Why am I awake.
I want to be asleep so I can pretend the world can't hurt me and my feelings don't exist.
October 3, 2025 at 1:23 PM
I am awake at 9:30 in the morning.
Why am I awake.
I want to be asleep so I can pretend the world can't hurt me and my feelings don't exist.
Why am I awake.
I want to be asleep so I can pretend the world can't hurt me and my feelings don't exist.
I am tired.
As if often the case.
As if often the case.
October 2, 2025 at 11:14 PM
I am tired.
As if often the case.
As if often the case.
HE KNEW. HE KNEW I WAS LYING THE LITTLE SHIT.
Both have been bad ideas historically, but there really isn't a middle ground here, and I already know I need to tell my friend, but WOW, is it embarrassing to be like, "Hey, you know that thing I said I didn't think was true? Turns out I was lying to myself and also to you, lol."
August 18, 2025 at 9:01 AM
HE KNEW. HE KNEW I WAS LYING THE LITTLE SHIT.
Okay, a small thing today.
Well, small for everyone else, but not for me.
So, earlier this week, I was hanging out with a friend in FFXIV. He showed me his FC house because he's quite proud of the (admittedly very nice) decor that he and his clanmates created.
Well, small for everyone else, but not for me.
So, earlier this week, I was hanging out with a friend in FFXIV. He showed me his FC house because he's quite proud of the (admittedly very nice) decor that he and his clanmates created.
August 17, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Okay, a small thing today.
Well, small for everyone else, but not for me.
So, earlier this week, I was hanging out with a friend in FFXIV. He showed me his FC house because he's quite proud of the (admittedly very nice) decor that he and his clanmates created.
Well, small for everyone else, but not for me.
So, earlier this week, I was hanging out with a friend in FFXIV. He showed me his FC house because he's quite proud of the (admittedly very nice) decor that he and his clanmates created.
In the summer, it's hot outside.
Hot outside becomes hot inside.
Hot inside means I am warm.
Being warm makes me sleepy.
In the winter, it's cold outside.
Cold outside becomes cold inside.
I'm extremely sensitive to cold, so I put on lots of cozy clothing and layers.
Clothes make me warm.
Sleepy.
Hot outside becomes hot inside.
Hot inside means I am warm.
Being warm makes me sleepy.
In the winter, it's cold outside.
Cold outside becomes cold inside.
I'm extremely sensitive to cold, so I put on lots of cozy clothing and layers.
Clothes make me warm.
Sleepy.
August 8, 2025 at 6:34 PM
In the summer, it's hot outside.
Hot outside becomes hot inside.
Hot inside means I am warm.
Being warm makes me sleepy.
In the winter, it's cold outside.
Cold outside becomes cold inside.
I'm extremely sensitive to cold, so I put on lots of cozy clothing and layers.
Clothes make me warm.
Sleepy.
Hot outside becomes hot inside.
Hot inside means I am warm.
Being warm makes me sleepy.
In the winter, it's cold outside.
Cold outside becomes cold inside.
I'm extremely sensitive to cold, so I put on lots of cozy clothing and layers.
Clothes make me warm.
Sleepy.
Also, I'm back. The past two weeks have not been painless, but it seems to be coming to a head. The self-hatred juices are flowing in my brain again, so it's time to get sad and gay on a public platform.
July 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Also, I'm back. The past two weeks have not been painless, but it seems to be coming to a head. The self-hatred juices are flowing in my brain again, so it's time to get sad and gay on a public platform.
Day 10,132 of hurting the people that are closest to me.
I often wonder if the only way I can communicate is through pain, as if by inflicting suffering upon others I am secretly instilling them with the greatest love I can muster. It sure seems that way with how often I hurt the people close to me.
I often wonder if the only way I can communicate is through pain, as if by inflicting suffering upon others I am secretly instilling them with the greatest love I can muster. It sure seems that way with how often I hurt the people close to me.
July 28, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Day 10,132 of hurting the people that are closest to me.
I often wonder if the only way I can communicate is through pain, as if by inflicting suffering upon others I am secretly instilling them with the greatest love I can muster. It sure seems that way with how often I hurt the people close to me.
I often wonder if the only way I can communicate is through pain, as if by inflicting suffering upon others I am secretly instilling them with the greatest love I can muster. It sure seems that way with how often I hurt the people close to me.
It's hard to imagine that there was a world where I thought my insomnia would go away once I became an adult. Like, for some reason, I thought the inability to go to school because of how crippling my inability to sleep was would go away as I got older and moved into the job market. I was wrong.
July 13, 2025 at 2:16 PM
It's hard to imagine that there was a world where I thought my insomnia would go away once I became an adult. Like, for some reason, I thought the inability to go to school because of how crippling my inability to sleep was would go away as I got older and moved into the job market. I was wrong.
I got out of bed. It was cold. Straight back to bed.
July 12, 2025 at 3:47 AM
I got out of bed. It was cold. Straight back to bed.
God, everything feels so much better when you have people around to talk to.
Like, I come here to scream into the void, but that feels far less necessary when you have empathetic people you can talk to instead.
Like, I come here to scream into the void, but that feels far less necessary when you have empathetic people you can talk to instead.
July 8, 2025 at 7:50 AM
God, everything feels so much better when you have people around to talk to.
Like, I come here to scream into the void, but that feels far less necessary when you have empathetic people you can talk to instead.
Like, I come here to scream into the void, but that feels far less necessary when you have empathetic people you can talk to instead.
Seeing as how my meds can sometimes make me so drowsy I can barely walk straight I really want to try taking them, and then 45 minutes later doing, like, 8 shots to see what it's like to be double drunk.
July 4, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Seeing as how my meds can sometimes make me so drowsy I can barely walk straight I really want to try taking them, and then 45 minutes later doing, like, 8 shots to see what it's like to be double drunk.
It really shouldn't be all that surprising, considering two nights ago, but yesterday and today were an absolute trip. I had, like, four different ideas for posts, and none of them got made because they were too long, and I was too depressed to make them.
July 3, 2025 at 11:54 AM
It really shouldn't be all that surprising, considering two nights ago, but yesterday and today were an absolute trip. I had, like, four different ideas for posts, and none of them got made because they were too long, and I was too depressed to make them.
I really think it would be cool if my greatest fears would stop manifesting in my dreams and waking me up when I'm trying to be really gay. Like, I just want to have one good dream where I get to be hot and kiss girls; is that so much to ask? According to my brain, YES.
July 2, 2025 at 9:43 AM
I really think it would be cool if my greatest fears would stop manifesting in my dreams and waking me up when I'm trying to be really gay. Like, I just want to have one good dream where I get to be hot and kiss girls; is that so much to ask? According to my brain, YES.
Reinstalled the plastic guitar game after throwing some mech frets on it (at long last). Time for the agonizing grind back to the level of skill I was at before.
Though I am currently being crushed by my favorite CTH2 charts, I know I will return to my former glory. Soulless 5 7* will be mine again.
Though I am currently being crushed by my favorite CTH2 charts, I know I will return to my former glory. Soulless 5 7* will be mine again.
June 29, 2025 at 9:48 AM
Reinstalled the plastic guitar game after throwing some mech frets on it (at long last). Time for the agonizing grind back to the level of skill I was at before.
Though I am currently being crushed by my favorite CTH2 charts, I know I will return to my former glory. Soulless 5 7* will be mine again.
Though I am currently being crushed by my favorite CTH2 charts, I know I will return to my former glory. Soulless 5 7* will be mine again.
It is 8:36 PM and now seems like a good time for breakfast. 4 hours late because... of reasons.
June 25, 2025 at 12:36 AM
It is 8:36 PM and now seems like a good time for breakfast. 4 hours late because... of reasons.
This month has been lighter than normal, but I can still feel the dark in there. It's in the habits I employ, the tactics I use to push it back just enough to be out of mind.
June 23, 2025 at 8:53 AM
This month has been lighter than normal, but I can still feel the dark in there. It's in the habits I employ, the tactics I use to push it back just enough to be out of mind.
It should not be allowed to be mid-thirties outside. I am going to melt because I don't have any shorts and am (paradoxically) too lazy to put on a skirt.
June 22, 2025 at 11:44 PM
It should not be allowed to be mid-thirties outside. I am going to melt because I don't have any shorts and am (paradoxically) too lazy to put on a skirt.
My computer just started playing Clairo on its own. Entirely unprompted.
Didn't know my computer was a lesbian, but good for her. Now, if she could stop being so expensive and temperamental, that'd be great.
Didn't know my computer was a lesbian, but good for her. Now, if she could stop being so expensive and temperamental, that'd be great.
June 20, 2025 at 8:00 AM
My computer just started playing Clairo on its own. Entirely unprompted.
Didn't know my computer was a lesbian, but good for her. Now, if she could stop being so expensive and temperamental, that'd be great.
Didn't know my computer was a lesbian, but good for her. Now, if she could stop being so expensive and temperamental, that'd be great.
I got to pet a dog on my walk today. It was a very cute, very friendly doggo named Magnum (after what I am assuming is a show or movie and not the type of ammunition). It's a good day.
June 19, 2025 at 12:19 AM
I got to pet a dog on my walk today. It was a very cute, very friendly doggo named Magnum (after what I am assuming is a show or movie and not the type of ammunition). It's a good day.
The only time when the demonization of trans people doesn't bother me is when it is directed at me, specifically. Like, I was born on October 31, I'm trans, and an overt sadist. I love being confusing and vague to everyone I meet.
I am the one the right despises and "centrists" pretend to tolerate.
I am the one the right despises and "centrists" pretend to tolerate.
June 18, 2025 at 10:04 PM
The only time when the demonization of trans people doesn't bother me is when it is directed at me, specifically. Like, I was born on October 31, I'm trans, and an overt sadist. I love being confusing and vague to everyone I meet.
I am the one the right despises and "centrists" pretend to tolerate.
I am the one the right despises and "centrists" pretend to tolerate.
I'm not sure what's going on this month anymore, to be honest. At first, I thought I was just happier than before, and I definitely feel like that's true, but I'm trying to identify why so I can carry that into the future and I just can't.
June 18, 2025 at 8:51 AM
I'm not sure what's going on this month anymore, to be honest. At first, I thought I was just happier than before, and I definitely feel like that's true, but I'm trying to identify why so I can carry that into the future and I just can't.
You know, of all of the things I expected HRT to change, I truly did not think I would experience attraction differently. It's an emotional response, so that shouldn't be surprising, but the depth of change is so significant I can barely even remember what it was like before.
June 16, 2025 at 7:39 AM
You know, of all of the things I expected HRT to change, I truly did not think I would experience attraction differently. It's an emotional response, so that shouldn't be surprising, but the depth of change is so significant I can barely even remember what it was like before.
Actually, no, okay, there is one thing I really want to share because I think it's really really funny.
I have two primary friend groups, the gay friends and the (mostly) straight friends. Apparently, every single member of the (mostly) straight group decided to take up writing at the same time.
I have two primary friend groups, the gay friends and the (mostly) straight friends. Apparently, every single member of the (mostly) straight group decided to take up writing at the same time.
June 15, 2025 at 6:47 AM
Actually, no, okay, there is one thing I really want to share because I think it's really really funny.
I have two primary friend groups, the gay friends and the (mostly) straight friends. Apparently, every single member of the (mostly) straight group decided to take up writing at the same time.
I have two primary friend groups, the gay friends and the (mostly) straight friends. Apparently, every single member of the (mostly) straight group decided to take up writing at the same time.
Not dead, I've just been spending a little too much time writing my little stories.
Well, story. It's just two points of view of the same events. No idea why I chose to write it this way, but it makes the sex way more interesting since I can just switch perspectives if I'm getting bored.
Well, story. It's just two points of view of the same events. No idea why I chose to write it this way, but it makes the sex way more interesting since I can just switch perspectives if I'm getting bored.
June 15, 2025 at 6:39 AM
Not dead, I've just been spending a little too much time writing my little stories.
Well, story. It's just two points of view of the same events. No idea why I chose to write it this way, but it makes the sex way more interesting since I can just switch perspectives if I'm getting bored.
Well, story. It's just two points of view of the same events. No idea why I chose to write it this way, but it makes the sex way more interesting since I can just switch perspectives if I'm getting bored.