Lyndon Baines Johnson
@lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social
This account is a parody. Label applied on the advice of Abe Fortas, Esq. Due to ongoing disputes with management, all messages here are reviewed by Fortas and Associates LLP before posting.
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Actually, as the first talk of college football begins, we've done you the service of updating our guide to Texas college football, who you are allowed to root for, and whom you're obligated to root against. -OS
Every journalist rushing to the example of Noriega is a good demonstration of why journalists are shit historians-- two seconds of historical thought would remind you the War on Drugs was *not a great example of life legitimate and lawful use of American force abroad.* -OS
January 3, 2026 at 5:54 PM
Every journalist rushing to the example of Noriega is a good demonstration of why journalists are shit historians-- two seconds of historical thought would remind you the War on Drugs was *not a great example of life legitimate and lawful use of American force abroad.* -OS
They going to park Maduro with Ghislaine in Bryan?
January 3, 2026 at 5:26 PM
They going to park Maduro with Ghislaine in Bryan?
Georgia will disappoint you because you know they know better. Mississippi will never disappoint you because you know they have no better angels.
January 2, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Georgia will disappoint you because you know they know better. Mississippi will never disappoint you because you know they have no better angels.
I, as a matter of principle, never want Alabama to win anything.
January 1, 2026 at 9:43 PM
I, as a matter of principle, never want Alabama to win anything.
I'll say, I was not mad to see all them Permian oil boy's money go up in smoke against Oregon.
January 1, 2026 at 8:39 PM
I'll say, I was not mad to see all them Permian oil boy's money go up in smoke against Oregon.
Dear readers, happy new year. A toast to good health, good luck, good cheer, and lots of Democratic victories in 2026. -WJ
January 1, 2026 at 6:08 AM
Dear readers, happy new year. A toast to good health, good luck, good cheer, and lots of Democratic victories in 2026. -WJ
Of course, the last second win against Michigan in the Rose Bowl would probably be remembered as the finest game of Vince Young's career if not for what he did against USC in the 4th quarter of the Championship the following year. -OS
It is kind of weird that Texas and Michigan have only crossed paths three times, and that they're all in the last twenty years, and that Michigan has lost to Vince Young, Quinn Ewers, and now Arch Manning. -OS
January 1, 2026 at 5:27 AM
Of course, the last second win against Michigan in the Rose Bowl would probably be remembered as the finest game of Vince Young's career if not for what he did against USC in the 4th quarter of the Championship the following year. -OS
It is kind of weird that Texas and Michigan have only crossed paths three times, and that they're all in the last twenty years, and that Michigan has lost to Vince Young, Quinn Ewers, and now Arch Manning. -OS
January 1, 2026 at 5:23 AM
It is kind of weird that Texas and Michigan have only crossed paths three times, and that they're all in the last twenty years, and that Michigan has lost to Vince Young, Quinn Ewers, and now Arch Manning. -OS
It started as a great day for the BIG 10. It ain't ending that way.
January 1, 2026 at 3:44 AM
It started as a great day for the BIG 10. It ain't ending that way.
Dammit, Miami remembered they suck. -OS
January 1, 2026 at 3:12 AM
Dammit, Miami remembered they suck. -OS
Yikes, Ohio State. -OS
January 1, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Yikes, Ohio State. -OS
Brandon Underwood's done been hooked.
December 31, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Brandon Underwood's done been hooked.
Fuckin' A, Arch.
December 31, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Fuckin' A, Arch.
9 starters out and that Texas D can still wield a knife.
December 31, 2025 at 11:30 PM
9 starters out and that Texas D can still wield a knife.
It good to see bowl season hasn't been totally devalued. Because Texas vs. Michigan is good fuckin' football. -OS
December 31, 2025 at 11:27 PM
It good to see bowl season hasn't been totally devalued. Because Texas vs. Michigan is good fuckin' football. -OS
Arch is going to be good. He just needed a season to get his feet under him.
December 31, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Arch is going to be good. He just needed a season to get his feet under him.
Simmons is a killer.
December 31, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Simmons is a killer.
I think its very likely the candidate in 2028 is someone who is not even being talked about right now.
December 31, 2025 at 7:39 AM
I think its very likely the candidate in 2028 is someone who is not even being talked about right now.
No.
Newsom?
December 31, 2025 at 6:29 AM
No.
No.
Who do think will be the nominee? Pritzker?
December 31, 2025 at 5:57 AM
No.
At the other place, Chicagoans are very mad that we said the differences between their precious city and Houston are infintesimal. -OS
December 31, 2025 at 4:21 AM
At the other place, Chicagoans are very mad that we said the differences between their precious city and Houston are infintesimal. -OS
She's not going to be the nominee.
Harris chooses ____ as her running mate in 2028 if she’s the nominee.
December 31, 2025 at 4:11 AM
She's not going to be the nominee.
Agreeing to be the vice presidential candidate was the worst decision Tim Walz has ever made. In his defense, its also the worse decision I've ever made.
December 31, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Agreeing to be the vice presidential candidate was the worst decision Tim Walz has ever made. In his defense, its also the worse decision I've ever made.
Our fundamental political crisis is that having cool stuff everywhere was only made possible by tamping down discrimination. Conservatives like artisan food and booze too, but hate that it comes with gay people living open lives and minority-owned businesses. -OS
December 31, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Our fundamental political crisis is that having cool stuff everywhere was only made possible by tamping down discrimination. Conservatives like artisan food and booze too, but hate that it comes with gay people living open lives and minority-owned businesses. -OS