Parker Swift | he?/they
@linehopper.bsky.social
Not affiliated with this Flash family or any other. Or that one singer. Please stop asking why I look familiar.
» Dimension-hopping speedster
DCRP OC | written by bardlockcafe
» Story & Banter, Happy to plot.
» Current setting: Gotham? Too fast to tell.
» Dimension-hopping speedster
DCRP OC | written by bardlockcafe
» Story & Banter, Happy to plot.
» Current setting: Gotham? Too fast to tell.
Pinned
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘤𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺.
Congrats, queen! @nettlebehr.bsky.social
I'm not a god of capitalism but I do also need to feed my fiancee.
January 2, 2026 at 5:44 AM
Congrats, queen! @nettlebehr.bsky.social
"This is the real impact of absent fathers. Ya hate to see it."
“It could also be the 1% Sam Stryker DNA. Or is more likely he spent most of his early years watching 90’s TV shows and movies with Rex Leech.”
That's 50% You saying that, big guy.
December 26, 2025 at 8:20 PM
"This is the real impact of absent fathers. Ya hate to see it."
You could say, "stop that."
November 23, 2025 at 9:25 PM
You could say, "stop that."
That's 50% You saying that, big guy.
………..On the other hand….
“I just realized I can use my tactile telekinesis to make a spiral while pissing!”
November 22, 2025 at 8:09 PM
That's 50% You saying that, big guy.
Reposted by Parker Swift | he?/they
The D in DILF can indeed stand for Dilapidated.
November 14, 2025 at 2:05 AM
The D in DILF can indeed stand for Dilapidated.
"To be fair I basically pay attention to nothing ever."
“One of life’s great mysteries. Thankfully, they’d have to be a very quick draw of the pistol to shoot you on sight.”
"It's a mystery to everyone."
November 14, 2025 at 2:09 AM
"To be fair I basically pay attention to nothing ever."
"It's a mystery to everyone."
“I feel like a lot of people want to shoot Parker on sight”
November 14, 2025 at 1:16 AM
"It's a mystery to everyone."
I do! I should probably be shot on sight.
You've got a point
One man's dilapidated is another man's DILF.
November 13, 2025 at 11:20 PM
I do! I should probably be shot on sight.
One man's dilapidated is another man's DILF.
November 13, 2025 at 11:15 PM
One man's dilapidated is another man's DILF.
"Well, if you're gonna twist my arm."
“Oh by the way. Don’t hit the child, please. I know that conversation happened a while ago but I got…distracted.”
November 10, 2025 at 3:03 AM
"Well, if you're gonna twist my arm."
Me neither. You're the one who was being an a-
...mean? I don't remember when kids start swearing.
...mean? I don't remember when kids start swearing.
[she seemed to give the question a fair amount of thought.]
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
Why do you seem mad about this?
November 10, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Me neither. You're the one who was being an a-
...mean? I don't remember when kids start swearing.
...mean? I don't remember when kids start swearing.
Why do you seem mad about this?
Then why haven't you punched me already? You a coward? Only cowards make threats and then don't do them.
You could [swing.] You wouldn't land it.
November 10, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Why do you seem mad about this?
You could [swing.] You wouldn't land it.
I'd punch back?
So what if I punched a kid?
November 10, 2025 at 1:40 AM
You could [swing.] You wouldn't land it.
So what if I punched a kid?
Yours is ugly too!
…..Oh.
November 10, 2025 at 1:31 AM
So what if I punched a kid?
Doo dooo dododo.
🤓 it's actually pronounced bna-ha-bra
Who?
November 2, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Doo dooo dododo.
I hate it here.
Have you gone to that cool spooky bakery? There's good donuts there!
Buddy I have been TRYING.
November 2, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I hate it here.
Buddy I have been TRYING.
Let's start with the donuts
I was thinking barbershop quartet BUT we'll probably need donuts for that.
November 2, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Buddy I have been TRYING.
I was thinking barbershop quartet BUT we'll probably need donuts for that.
What are you thinking? I was thinking about donuts.
No, I'm way to impatient for that and I'm bad at enough kinds of things as is.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
You thinking what I'm thinking?
November 2, 2025 at 3:27 AM
I was thinking barbershop quartet BUT we'll probably need donuts for that.
No, I'm way to impatient for that and I'm bad at enough kinds of things as is.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
You thinking what I'm thinking?
Do you play any instruments? Cause I don't.
We should start a band.
November 2, 2025 at 3:26 AM
No, I'm way to impatient for that and I'm bad at enough kinds of things as is.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
You thinking what I'm thinking?
We should start a band.
You get me
I said this shit is
November 2, 2025 at 3:24 AM
We should start a band.
I said this shit is
Bnananaba
November 2, 2025 at 3:21 AM
I said this shit is
Y'know, I'll just ask the town crier when I get there.
Oh you mean the spooky interdimensional one?
What's service at the bakeries like there?
November 2, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Y'know, I'll just ask the town crier when I get there.
What's service at the bakeries like there?
You could always visit but I will warn you: there's a dragon being a problem
What's going on in THAT dimension?
November 2, 2025 at 1:24 AM
What's service at the bakeries like there?
What's going on in THAT dimension?
November 2, 2025 at 1:06 AM
What's going on in THAT dimension?
I'm gonna open MY OWN bakery.
November 2, 2025 at 1:04 AM
I'm gonna open MY OWN bakery.