I hope the commercials know that I mute them
December 3, 2025 at 3:51 AM
I hope the commercials know that I mute them
The 9.99 charge from Apple every month is one life's great mysteries. Can we get a documentary about where it originated and why it exists?
November 30, 2025 at 2:13 AM
The 9.99 charge from Apple every month is one life's great mysteries. Can we get a documentary about where it originated and why it exists?
If I’m next to someone working on a screenplay in a coffee shop or on an airplane, I lean over and comment ‘She would never say that’.
November 27, 2025 at 9:15 PM
If I’m next to someone working on a screenplay in a coffee shop or on an airplane, I lean over and comment ‘She would never say that’.
In nature, have you ever shit on a stick to prevent the poop from touching the ground?
November 21, 2025 at 7:27 PM
In nature, have you ever shit on a stick to prevent the poop from touching the ground?
You don't like AI actress Tilly Norwood or anything she stands for? Tell that to my cousin who I just caught jacking off to her. #tillynorwood
November 19, 2025 at 6:43 PM
You don't like AI actress Tilly Norwood or anything she stands for? Tell that to my cousin who I just caught jacking off to her. #tillynorwood
Hey Millie's diner, you been serving decaf? I'm not feelin' shit!!
November 13, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Hey Millie's diner, you been serving decaf? I'm not feelin' shit!!
If you don't put actual gloves in your 'glove box', the game of life has eluded you, and it will be all but impossible for us to hang in the same circles.
November 9, 2025 at 8:30 PM
If you don't put actual gloves in your 'glove box', the game of life has eluded you, and it will be all but impossible for us to hang in the same circles.
If you stay at my house, shower, and FLOSS YOUR ASS with one of my towels, good riddance forever.
November 8, 2025 at 2:55 AM
If you stay at my house, shower, and FLOSS YOUR ASS with one of my towels, good riddance forever.
Everyone knows the song Splish Splash I was takin’ a bath is about jerkin’ off in the bath tub right?
November 8, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Everyone knows the song Splish Splash I was takin’ a bath is about jerkin’ off in the bath tub right?
I hate when a toilet can't handle the truth.
September 18, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I hate when a toilet can't handle the truth.
When you used the word MOTHERLOAD at work, did you realize it means the load of semen that results in a pregnancy?
September 1, 2025 at 12:02 AM
When you used the word MOTHERLOAD at work, did you realize it means the load of semen that results in a pregnancy?
I used to drink and smoke weed every night and felt worn out in the morning.
I've replaced those things with gym workouts, and feel much worse in the morning.
I've replaced those things with gym workouts, and feel much worse in the morning.
August 9, 2025 at 8:29 PM
I used to drink and smoke weed every night and felt worn out in the morning.
I've replaced those things with gym workouts, and feel much worse in the morning.
I've replaced those things with gym workouts, and feel much worse in the morning.
“Play hard work hard”?
Most of the time playing hard becomes work.
Most of the time playing hard becomes work.
June 24, 2025 at 4:47 AM
“Play hard work hard”?
Most of the time playing hard becomes work.
Most of the time playing hard becomes work.
When I need a break from my screen, I go to my other screen.
June 7, 2025 at 1:57 AM
When I need a break from my screen, I go to my other screen.
Do birds and bees fuck or something? Why is it called that?
May 24, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Do birds and bees fuck or something? Why is it called that?
I'm so sorry; there was no hidden meaning to that butterfly flying next you. It was just an animal.
May 23, 2025 at 7:28 PM
I'm so sorry; there was no hidden meaning to that butterfly flying next you. It was just an animal.
May 18, 2025 at 11:15 PM
A New Hope that Andor 2 doesn't steal all my ideas!
May 2, 2025 at 11:39 PM
A New Hope that Andor 2 doesn't steal all my ideas!
Reposted by Lanus
If you liked Nosferatu, but felt it didn’t have enough talk about cunnilingus, “Sinners” is for you!
May 2, 2025 at 10:20 PM
If you liked Nosferatu, but felt it didn’t have enough talk about cunnilingus, “Sinners” is for you!
I knew it! Revenge of the Sith is the best movie according to Spielberg.
May 1, 2025 at 10:03 PM
I knew it! Revenge of the Sith is the best movie according to Spielberg.
BREAKING White Lotus Season 4 teaser just dropped
Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger) confirmed returning cast.
All-star crossover with #Terminator
#whitelotus
Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger) confirmed returning cast.
All-star crossover with #Terminator
#whitelotus
April 9, 2025 at 6:37 PM
BREAKING White Lotus Season 4 teaser just dropped
Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger) confirmed returning cast.
All-star crossover with #Terminator
#whitelotus
Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger) confirmed returning cast.
All-star crossover with #Terminator
#whitelotus
I always thought it was called Sanfordy Sons.
March 25, 2025 at 5:10 AM
I always thought it was called Sanfordy Sons.
March 9, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Love Adrien Brody but did he say the ‘award is the destination’ was his line from the film? It was literally someone else’s line #oscars #oscars2025 #brutalist
March 4, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Love Adrien Brody but did he say the ‘award is the destination’ was his line from the film? It was literally someone else’s line #oscars #oscars2025 #brutalist