Louise Atkinson
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latkinson.bsky.social
Louise Atkinson
@latkinson.bsky.social
Comedian. Hullian. Googly eyes enthusiast-ian
"What will you be dressing up as for the xmas party?"

Me:
November 27, 2025 at 5:03 PM
I think tables 1 and 4 pushed together and table 3 near by. Happy for table 2 to be by the toilets or something.
November 25, 2025 at 7:50 PM
people saying its that time of year when we hate Alan Rickman for breaking Emma Thompson’s heart. But don’t forget it’s ALSO the season where we all wish we were dating Jack Black in The Holiday and lived in a remote cottage in Surrey, where we just sit and drink wine and read books all xmas.
November 24, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Feel we need to update the 'you've won a beauty contest' card in Monopoly before Christmas.
More 2025 would be:
Congratulations! You’ve won the ‘Sitting in your pants watching Netflix the longest, with a bit of cheese down your front’ contest.
More realistic and, frankly, a far greater achievement.
November 19, 2025 at 12:22 PM
A mince pie, brioche style wrap. It's a no from me. The best way I can describe it is it tastes like a poundland shop at Christmas. No thank you.
November 18, 2025 at 5:52 PM
If method actors must live in character 24/7, can one of them please play a billionaire philanthropist next? Build us all something. Or just give us all a little cash. Or even just some nice cheese. Cheese would be good.
November 18, 2025 at 11:20 AM
“I shall treat myself,” I said, cheerfully, purchasing a new top. Wears once and looks at label: 'hand-wash only'. Oh sure, let me just time-travel to 1892 and fetch my mangle. No thanks. I’ve got cheese to eat and television to judge. State of it.
November 12, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Who do you think has the greatest love story?

Others: Anthony & Cleopatra. Napoleon & Josephine. Elizabeth Bennett & Mr Darcy

Me: probably these guys....
November 7, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Somewhere between my 20s and 30s, “shots” stopped being sambuca and started being kombucha.I was killing off bacteria with alcohol and now I’m cultivating them with some vinegar. I’ve gone from toxic to probiotic.
November 5, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Trick or treating but for adults and instead of sweets it's tiny bottles of alcohol and ibuprofen
October 26, 2025 at 10:46 AM
Flake are apparently replacing éclairs in the Cadburys Heroes box. Which I believe means the new Cadbury Heroes tier system is as follows....
October 24, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Footage of the thieves from the recent heist at the louvre has become available....
October 19, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Just told my mate I don’t remember Kisstory being around when we were kids and she goes, “Yeah, that’s because it was just Kiss back then, it wasn’t historical hits, it was current affairs.”
Nothing like realising you’re already rehearsing your care home chat in your 30s.
October 17, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Yesterday, I was one of 81,000 fans at Twickenham Stadium watching the Women’s Rugby World Cup final. The Canadian team, who played brilliantly and even had the tournament’s best player on their squad, had to crowdfund just to make it there. Start 👏 funding 👏 women’s 👏 sport 👏
September 28, 2025 at 8:12 AM
This man's head seems to double as a mini roundabout
September 27, 2025 at 2:21 PM
I'm sorry, why is there not more conversation about the fact that Greggs is opening it's first pub this weekend called 'The Golden Flake Tavern' and on one of its sharing platters it lists a sausage roll as *checks notes* a garnish...
September 25, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Part of my ADHD is vocal stimming — I’ll randomly interrupt myself mid-sentence to blurt half a movie quote. If you don’t catch it, you usually back away slowly. My dream? That one day I’ll stim-quote, and someone instantly replies with the other half. My perfect match. An ADHD Cinderella moment.
September 25, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Like so many the phrase of lefty loosey, righty tighty is one of the most useful helpful tips I have ever learned and I wish adulthood came with more of those. Like…
“Left is sweaty, right is regretty” for the thermostat.
"Breif is relief, long is wrong" for office meetings.
This kind of thing
September 23, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Every autumn, pumpkins turn into the Regina George of root vegetables: "I love your latte, where did you get it". They’re everywhere, they’re in everything, and somehow we’ve all just accepted it. Meanwhile, turnips are at the mathletes table waiting for their moment
September 22, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Me: northerners aren’t just walking clichés.

Also me: burned my arm getting a pie out of the oven

I'll just go get my flat cap and use my gravy powered car to get to the whippet race. State of it
September 21, 2025 at 10:03 AM
There are some times when I think my days, the Internet is a horrid place and should be burned. Then there are times like today, when my social media tells me it's the national ploughing championships in Ireland and there is a brown bead baking competition and then I'm happy again.
September 19, 2025 at 9:31 AM
Peak UK laundry struggle season: too chilly for clothes to dry outside, too mild to justify putting the heating on and stuffing knickers down the side of the radiator to dry. Basically all Brits will be damp from now until November.
September 9, 2025 at 2:57 PM
If anyone was wondering just how pale and ginger I look, I walked into a corner shop just now and without me opening my mouth the man by the till said "the Irish section is down here". So, just left with 7 blocks of kerry gold to not embarrass myself
September 7, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Seems to be a trend of people calling recipes things like "marry me chicken" or "engagement beans" for cooking to impress your partner, and I would just like to see the alternatives for break up foods - "restraining order risotto" or "its not you its meat pie" this kind of thing
September 6, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Joined the air fryer community.
Didn't know what to do. Panicked. Now dehydrating a banana for 8 hours
September 5, 2025 at 12:09 PM