MickDundee58
@lairdmickd.bsky.social
Worked in Media & Retail, Left of Centre, Australian Scot.
"I'm not a fan of toilet humour . . . Butt."
February 16, 2026 at 6:05 AM
"I'm not a fan of toilet humour . . . Butt."
"What did the Waiter say to the person ordering pancakes?"
"They won't be long, they'll be round."
"They won't be long, they'll be round."
February 16, 2026 at 5:06 AM
"What did the Waiter say to the person ordering pancakes?"
"They won't be long, they'll be round."
"They won't be long, they'll be round."
"I think it's wrong that only one Company makes the game Monopoly."
February 16, 2026 at 3:52 AM
"I think it's wrong that only one Company makes the game Monopoly."
Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 8 am on Monday, February 16 it is another overcast day, 18°C-25°C. Visitors 10 am, then I'll try to get as much yard work done today as possible. Have a great day, keep smiling. Talk later.
February 15, 2026 at 9:08 PM
Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 8 am on Monday, February 16 it is another overcast day, 18°C-25°C. Visitors 10 am, then I'll try to get as much yard work done today as possible. Have a great day, keep smiling. Talk later.
"Age is just a number, is totally irrelevant. Unless of course you happen to be a bottle of wine."
February 15, 2026 at 7:55 AM
"Age is just a number, is totally irrelevant. Unless of course you happen to be a bottle of wine."
"If a King sleeps on a King sized bed and a Queen on a Queen sized bed, what does a Prince sleep on?"
"An Heir mattress."
"An Heir mattress."
February 15, 2026 at 6:22 AM
"If a King sleeps on a King sized bed and a Queen on a Queen sized bed, what does a Prince sleep on?"
"An Heir mattress."
"An Heir mattress."
"I was robbed by a cab driver when visiting the Great Pyramids."
"Egypt me."
"Egypt me."
February 15, 2026 at 5:43 AM
"I was robbed by a cab driver when visiting the Great Pyramids."
"Egypt me."
"Egypt me."
"Why did the Mexican take anti-depressant medication?"
"For hispanic attacks."
"For hispanic attacks."
February 15, 2026 at 4:16 AM
"Why did the Mexican take anti-depressant medication?"
"For hispanic attacks."
"For hispanic attacks."
"I asked a German girl for her phone number, I'm still waiting for the rest of the digits."
"So far I've only got nine."
"So far I've only got nine."
February 15, 2026 at 3:14 AM
"I asked a German girl for her phone number, I'm still waiting for the rest of the digits."
"So far I've only got nine."
"So far I've only got nine."
Boss: "Did you get any orders today?"
Salesman: "Yes!"
Boss: "How many?"
Salesman: "Two "
Boss: "What were they?"
Salesman: Get Out!" & "Stay Out!"
Salesman: "Yes!"
Boss: "How many?"
Salesman: "Two "
Boss: "What were they?"
Salesman: Get Out!" & "Stay Out!"
February 15, 2026 at 2:19 AM
Boss: "Did you get any orders today?"
Salesman: "Yes!"
Boss: "How many?"
Salesman: "Two "
Boss: "What were they?"
Salesman: Get Out!" & "Stay Out!"
Salesman: "Yes!"
Boss: "How many?"
Salesman: "Two "
Boss: "What were they?"
Salesman: Get Out!" & "Stay Out!"
Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 8.15 am on Sunday, February 15, it is a drizzly 18°C. Light rain predicted all day, so watching USPGA from Pebble Beach, Day 3 Bhatia leading at -21 after 8 holes today. Have a great day, talk later, keep smiling. 😀
February 14, 2026 at 9:15 PM
Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 8.15 am on Sunday, February 15, it is a drizzly 18°C. Light rain predicted all day, so watching USPGA from Pebble Beach, Day 3 Bhatia leading at -21 after 8 holes today. Have a great day, talk later, keep smiling. 😀
"I can't take my dog for a walk down to the Pond anymore, the ducks keep attacking him."
"It's my fault for buying a pure bread dog."
"It's my fault for buying a pure bread dog."
February 14, 2026 at 8:25 AM
"I can't take my dog for a walk down to the Pond anymore, the ducks keep attacking him."
"It's my fault for buying a pure bread dog."
"It's my fault for buying a pure bread dog."
"What do you say to a sad Sheep?"
"Shear-up."
"Shear-up."
February 14, 2026 at 8:20 AM
"What do you say to a sad Sheep?"
"Shear-up."
"Shear-up."
"What do you call a sheep that's really good at singing?"
"A baa-ritone."
"A baa-ritone."
February 14, 2026 at 7:18 AM
"What do you call a sheep that's really good at singing?"
"A baa-ritone."
"A baa-ritone."
"I took up oragami for a while, but I gave it up, there was just too much paperwork."
February 14, 2026 at 6:13 AM
"I took up oragami for a while, but I gave it up, there was just too much paperwork."
"Last night I became a cat."
"Don't ask meow."
"Don't ask meow."
February 14, 2026 at 5:26 AM
"Last night I became a cat."
"Don't ask meow."
"Don't ask meow."
Reposted by MickDundee58
A Rugby player goes to the Doctors and says: "It hurts when I touch my arm, my leg and my head."
The Doctor replies: "You've broken your finger."
The Doctor replies: "You've broken your finger."
February 14, 2026 at 4:21 AM
A Rugby player goes to the Doctors and says: "It hurts when I touch my arm, my leg and my head."
The Doctor replies: "You've broken your finger."
The Doctor replies: "You've broken your finger."
Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 8.30 am on Saturday, ❤️February 14❤️, it is an overcast 18°C. I will be under instructions all day.😀 A slave for my 'better half' - Have a great day, keep smiling, updates later. 😀
February 13, 2026 at 9:36 PM
Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 8.30 am on Saturday, ❤️February 14❤️, it is an overcast 18°C. I will be under instructions all day.😀 A slave for my 'better half' - Have a great day, keep smiling, updates later. 😀
"Why did the Biologist break up with the Physicist?"
"They had no Chemistry."
"They had no Chemistry."
February 13, 2026 at 9:26 AM
"Why did the Biologist break up with the Physicist?"
"They had no Chemistry."
"They had no Chemistry."
"Did you hear about the two cell phones that got married?"
"The reception was fantastic."
"The reception was fantastic."
February 13, 2026 at 8:52 AM
"Did you hear about the two cell phones that got married?"
"The reception was fantastic."
"The reception was fantastic."
"I seldom argue with vegetarians . . . I have no beef with them."
February 13, 2026 at 6:42 AM
"I seldom argue with vegetarians . . . I have no beef with them."
"Why did the transgender man only eat salad?"
Because he was a her before."
Because he was a her before."
February 13, 2026 at 5:23 AM
"Why did the transgender man only eat salad?"
Because he was a her before."
Because he was a her before."
"Where do football players go when their jumper gets torn?"
"New Jersey."
"New Jersey."
February 13, 2026 at 4:30 AM
"Where do football players go when their jumper gets torn?"
"New Jersey."
"New Jersey."
"I hear pottery isn't all it's cracked up to be!"
February 13, 2026 at 12:30 AM
"I hear pottery isn't all it's cracked up to be!"