Kolchak
@kolchak.bsky.social
Writer. Former tweeter. Who knows anymore?
Also on Threads @Kolchak.
Buy me a coffee: coff.ee/zgrmbndfzv
Also on Threads @Kolchak.
Buy me a coffee: coff.ee/zgrmbndfzv
I’m old enough to remember DOGE, which cost billions, saved nothing and gave Elon Musk access to everyone’s social security information.
This should go well.
This should go well.
January 29, 2026 at 7:16 AM
I’m old enough to remember DOGE, which cost billions, saved nothing and gave Elon Musk access to everyone’s social security information.
This should go well.
This should go well.
“Well, this is clearly AI” - Me watching Circue Du Soleil
January 29, 2026 at 5:13 AM
“Well, this is clearly AI” - Me watching Circue Du Soleil
We REALLY need to work on media literacy.
January 29, 2026 at 4:35 AM
We REALLY need to work on media literacy.
They remembered Alex Pretti. It was personal.
January 29, 2026 at 4:02 AM
They remembered Alex Pretti. It was personal.
Elon, how can you justify Tesla’s valuation?
January 29, 2026 at 1:44 AM
Elon, how can you justify Tesla’s valuation?
“This person didn’t deserve to be shot multiple times in the back.”
“Oh yeah? Well what if I told you HE KICKED A CAR?!”
You goofy MAGA fucks need to take a step back and listen to what you’re saying.
“Oh yeah? Well what if I told you HE KICKED A CAR?!”
You goofy MAGA fucks need to take a step back and listen to what you’re saying.
January 29, 2026 at 1:07 AM
“This person didn’t deserve to be shot multiple times in the back.”
“Oh yeah? Well what if I told you HE KICKED A CAR?!”
You goofy MAGA fucks need to take a step back and listen to what you’re saying.
“Oh yeah? Well what if I told you HE KICKED A CAR?!”
You goofy MAGA fucks need to take a step back and listen to what you’re saying.
Elon: “Everyone in the world will buy two of my robots for $50k each!”
“Why?”
Elon: “Look at this one scooping popcorn very slowly!”
“Okay…but can it do laundry?”
Elon: “No, but it can pretend to do pre-programmed karate.”
“Why?”
Elon: “Look at this one scooping popcorn very slowly!”
“Okay…but can it do laundry?”
Elon: “No, but it can pretend to do pre-programmed karate.”
January 29, 2026 at 12:39 AM
Elon: “Everyone in the world will buy two of my robots for $50k each!”
“Why?”
Elon: “Look at this one scooping popcorn very slowly!”
“Okay…but can it do laundry?”
Elon: “No, but it can pretend to do pre-programmed karate.”
“Why?”
Elon: “Look at this one scooping popcorn very slowly!”
“Okay…but can it do laundry?”
Elon: “No, but it can pretend to do pre-programmed karate.”
If Nicki Minaj was even slightly critical of ICE, all of her new MAGA fans would be calling for her to be deported to a gulag.
January 29, 2026 at 12:23 AM
If Nicki Minaj was even slightly critical of ICE, all of her new MAGA fans would be calling for her to be deported to a gulag.
Genuinely curious how many people who are not chronically online even know about the Friday general strike.
January 28, 2026 at 11:13 PM
Genuinely curious how many people who are not chronically online even know about the Friday general strike.
People are going to do TERRIBLE things to those Melania popcorn buckets.
January 28, 2026 at 9:45 PM
People are going to do TERRIBLE things to those Melania popcorn buckets.
Unemployed and on disability? A violent Trump supporter? Can’t be.
January 28, 2026 at 6:06 AM
Unemployed and on disability? A violent Trump supporter? Can’t be.
REPLACE TIM APPLE WITH FIONA APPLE
January 27, 2026 at 11:05 PM
REPLACE TIM APPLE WITH FIONA APPLE
Trump now has a 27% approval rating with independents. They must betired of winning. today.yougov.com/politics/art...
Donald Trump's support from Independents hits a new low | YouGov
Donald Trump remains broadly unpopular, with record low job approval among Independents and a record high 49% of Americans who say they strongly disapprove of Trump's job handling
today.yougov.com
January 27, 2026 at 10:24 PM
Trump now has a 27% approval rating with independents. They must betired of winning. today.yougov.com/politics/art...
The president says you can’t have guns.
You can’t have affordable healthcare.
You can’t have affordable goods.
But you can be murdered on sight.
You can’t have affordable healthcare.
You can’t have affordable goods.
But you can be murdered on sight.
January 27, 2026 at 9:32 PM
The president says you can’t have guns.
You can’t have affordable healthcare.
You can’t have affordable goods.
But you can be murdered on sight.
You can’t have affordable healthcare.
You can’t have affordable goods.
But you can be murdered on sight.
Greg Bovino is launching a new shoe line.
January 27, 2026 at 8:53 PM
Greg Bovino is launching a new shoe line.
I really wish Twitter would experience the mass exodus TikTok currently is.
January 27, 2026 at 8:26 PM
I really wish Twitter would experience the mass exodus TikTok currently is.
“I voted to protect pedophiles and murder people on the streets.”
“Why?”
“I couldn’t afford eggs.”
“Why?”
“I couldn’t afford eggs.”
January 27, 2026 at 8:18 PM
“I voted to protect pedophiles and murder people on the streets.”
“Why?”
“I couldn’t afford eggs.”
“Why?”
“I couldn’t afford eggs.”
When Carl’s Jr. named the “Big Carl,” they were clearly targeting cannibals.
January 27, 2026 at 7:39 AM
When Carl’s Jr. named the “Big Carl,” they were clearly targeting cannibals.
“Bill Gates is trying to kill you.”
Tell the dude to hurry up, then. Sheesh.
Tell the dude to hurry up, then. Sheesh.
January 27, 2026 at 4:50 AM
“Bill Gates is trying to kill you.”
Tell the dude to hurry up, then. Sheesh.
Tell the dude to hurry up, then. Sheesh.
If you ask someone their favorite things and they come up with “brown paper packages tied up with string,” there’s a good chance they’re a bomber.
January 27, 2026 at 4:16 AM
If you ask someone their favorite things and they come up with “brown paper packages tied up with string,” there’s a good chance they’re a bomber.
You know a Chili’s waitress hates to see Tom Homan coming.
January 27, 2026 at 4:13 AM
You know a Chili’s waitress hates to see Tom Homan coming.
The ghost of Steve Jobs hovering over Tim Cook in the Melania screening whispering “check your notifications” every ten seconds.
January 27, 2026 at 3:34 AM
The ghost of Steve Jobs hovering over Tim Cook in the Melania screening whispering “check your notifications” every ten seconds.
Chuck Schumer retire and start a YouTube channel where you review different types of bisques 2026 challenge
January 27, 2026 at 3:11 AM
Chuck Schumer retire and start a YouTube channel where you review different types of bisques 2026 challenge
The E in Wile E. Coyote stands for Epstein.
January 27, 2026 at 1:51 AM
The E in Wile E. Coyote stands for Epstein.