Kolchak
@kolchak.bsky.social
Writer. Former tweeter. Who knows anymore?
Also on Threads @Kolchak.
Buy me a coffee: coff.ee/zgrmbndfzv
Also on Threads @Kolchak.
Buy me a coffee: coff.ee/zgrmbndfzv
Trump is starring in his own version of The Tell-Tale Heart except instead of a heartbeat it’s just the muffled sounds of the AOL “YOU’VE GOT MAIL” guy beneath the floorboards.
November 14, 2025 at 6:34 AM
Trump is starring in his own version of The Tell-Tale Heart except instead of a heartbeat it’s just the muffled sounds of the AOL “YOU’VE GOT MAIL” guy beneath the floorboards.
Remember when Elon backed out of fighting Zuckerberg because of “back issues”? Or when he received a black eye from someone in the White House and blamed it on his toddler? Or when cherished author Joyce Carol Oates evicerated him on his own platform so badly he tweaked Grok to say he reads a lot?
November 14, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Remember when Elon backed out of fighting Zuckerberg because of “back issues”? Or when he received a black eye from someone in the White House and blamed it on his toddler? Or when cherished author Joyce Carol Oates evicerated him on his own platform so badly he tweaked Grok to say he reads a lot?
This makes way more sense now.
November 14, 2025 at 5:47 AM
This makes way more sense now.
One thing the Epstein emails have made abundantly clear is that absolutely no one enjoys the company of Donald Trump. They all laughed at him behind his back, much like we laugh at him openly now.
November 14, 2025 at 5:28 AM
One thing the Epstein emails have made abundantly clear is that absolutely no one enjoys the company of Donald Trump. They all laughed at him behind his back, much like we laugh at him openly now.
Trump hasn’t posted since 2:37 EST yesterday, so you know it’s bad.
November 14, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Trump hasn’t posted since 2:37 EST yesterday, so you know it’s bad.
Go back in time to kill baby Hitler but also making a pit stop to show Heinz Easy Squirt to Claude Monet.
November 13, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Go back in time to kill baby Hitler but also making a pit stop to show Heinz Easy Squirt to Claude Monet.
When the Wall Street Journal produced a pedophile poem written by the president to his pedophile best friend, J.D. Vance was quick to play defense.
He’s real quiet now.
He’s real quiet now.
November 13, 2025 at 8:31 PM
When the Wall Street Journal produced a pedophile poem written by the president to his pedophile best friend, J.D. Vance was quick to play defense.
He’s real quiet now.
He’s real quiet now.
Reminder that Donald Trump picked Matt Gaetz, who raped a child, to be Attorney General knowing full well who he was.
They are birds of a feather.
They are birds of a feather.
November 13, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Reminder that Donald Trump picked Matt Gaetz, who raped a child, to be Attorney General knowing full well who he was.
They are birds of a feather.
They are birds of a feather.
People in LA getting ready to drive like they normally do and hydroplane into a freeway guardrail.
a stuffed duck wearing sunglasses is driving a car on a road
ALT: a stuffed duck wearing sunglasses is driving a car on a road
media.tenor.com
November 13, 2025 at 8:07 PM
People in LA getting ready to drive like they normally do and hydroplane into a freeway guardrail.
Just because October is over doesn’t mean we can’t have Kim Director in Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 vibes.
November 13, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Just because October is over doesn’t mean we can’t have Kim Director in Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 vibes.
“Why didn’t the Biden administration release the Epstein files?”
They were largely sealed under a court order. A better question is “Why can’t you denounce child rapists and their associates?”
They were largely sealed under a court order. A better question is “Why can’t you denounce child rapists and their associates?”
November 13, 2025 at 7:41 PM
“Why didn’t the Biden administration release the Epstein files?”
They were largely sealed under a court order. A better question is “Why can’t you denounce child rapists and their associates?”
They were largely sealed under a court order. A better question is “Why can’t you denounce child rapists and their associates?”
Predators stick together.
November 13, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Predators stick together.
ARK Invest’s Cathie Wood is a certified con woman, going on television and telling the public Tesla will be worth $2,600 a share by 2029.
Yesterday ARK dumped $30 million in shares. Classic “Do as I say, not as I do.”
Yesterday ARK dumped $30 million in shares. Classic “Do as I say, not as I do.”
November 13, 2025 at 6:56 PM
ARK Invest’s Cathie Wood is a certified con woman, going on television and telling the public Tesla will be worth $2,600 a share by 2029.
Yesterday ARK dumped $30 million in shares. Classic “Do as I say, not as I do.”
Yesterday ARK dumped $30 million in shares. Classic “Do as I say, not as I do.”
GOP messaging is so bad, the best they can come up with is “don’t let the president’s pedophilia distract you from the fact that we want to take away your healthcare.”
November 13, 2025 at 6:52 PM
GOP messaging is so bad, the best they can come up with is “don’t let the president’s pedophilia distract you from the fact that we want to take away your healthcare.”
All of Jeffrey Epstein’s emails read like that time Bret Easton Ellis accidentally tweeted out a text to his coke dealer.
November 13, 2025 at 6:23 PM
All of Jeffrey Epstein’s emails read like that time Bret Easton Ellis accidentally tweeted out a text to his coke dealer.
I wish this man a full recovery and a quick resignation. abcnews.go.com/Politics/joh...
Sen. John Fetterman hospitalized after fall near his home - ABC News
Sen. John Fetterman's office reported the Pennsylvania Democrat had "sustained a fall" near his home in Braddock, Pennsylvania, during an early Thursday morning walk.
abcnews.go.com
November 13, 2025 at 6:18 PM
I wish this man a full recovery and a quick resignation. abcnews.go.com/Politics/joh...
The world needs to bankrupt Tesla.
November 13, 2025 at 5:12 PM
The world needs to bankrupt Tesla.
Jr. says stop going after your political enemies and release the Epstein list.
November 13, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Jr. says stop going after your political enemies and release the Epstein list.
Byron Donalds gets the kiss of death for his Florida gubernatorial campaign.
November 13, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Byron Donalds gets the kiss of death for his Florida gubernatorial campaign.
And now, it’s yaujta time.
November 13, 2025 at 2:33 AM
And now, it’s yaujta time.
I need everyone to understand that walking in large crowds paying no attention to where you’re going because you’re staring at your phone is dumb unless I do it because I’m looking at much more important stuff.
November 13, 2025 at 2:23 AM
I need everyone to understand that walking in large crowds paying no attention to where you’re going because you’re staring at your phone is dumb unless I do it because I’m looking at much more important stuff.
The Epstein coverup makes Watergate seem quaint.
November 13, 2025 at 2:03 AM
The Epstein coverup makes Watergate seem quaint.
Lots of MAGA dudes in sunglasses sitting in giant trucks wondering what they’re supposed to tell their four Facebook followers tonight.
November 13, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Lots of MAGA dudes in sunglasses sitting in giant trucks wondering what they’re supposed to tell their four Facebook followers tonight.