Life has been tough lately.
Puro prod, lots of expectations, at mga bagay na labas sa kontrol ko.

Kaiiyak ko lang. Hagulgol na tipong nawalan ng kamag-anak.

The video behind it? Nag-uusap sina Soothsayer at Po.

I imagined it was me. In that peaceful village, raided by wolves. (Hyenas?)

Wolf nga.

Mabigat at masakit ang bitbit kong kontradiksyon.

Akala ko mas dadali ang pagpapasya matapos ang pakikipamuhay, pero hindi pala ganoon ang siste.

Marami akong nasaktan.
Batid kong darami pa sila kapag itinuloy ang landas na sa tantsa ko, magwawasto sa mga sakit ng lipunan.

Ang hirap pala talaga.

By no means am I perfect.

But there are days that feel like
A sigh of relief
A windy breeze
Gentle sunlit windows

The rays flutter as angels hover
Tender, softer than a newborn’s finger
I thank those days

As shores wash over sands
When ardor skies turn into prisms
These shades promise

My 1st year self was far happier, perhaps far passionate, and beyond sure I would take on journalism.

Eto ako ngayon,upos na lang ng sarili ko noon. I hate this feeling.

Na hindi ako nag-improve.
Na I could have done better.
Na I could have sacrificed more.

Frustration ko ‘to araw-araw.

The funny thing is, alam kong may mga batang mas mahuhusay sa akin sa larangan ng journalism.

Those who can speak and articulate their thoughts better.

My strength is just from how I sound. Pero it brings me joy hearing compliments from people I look up to.

Or heck, just people in general.

In the end, may pagkaduwag pa rin ako. Human tingz.

*Sees a straight guy reel*

“Mas bakla pa sa akin kumilos nyeta”

Slightly internalized homophobia 4am thoughts 🤣 to yearn to be unique AND to be conventionally attractive nga naman

May takot muling namumuo sa kaligiran ng puso.

Parang lumot kung manuot. Marahan, mamasa-masa, nakadudulas kung hindi makuskusan at mapunasan.

Nakakatakot lang, kung minsan, tulad ng isang basyong naubos, walang nilalamang kuwento ang kuwadernong naglalaman ng buhay ko.

I DESPISE CONTACT LENSES EURGH

Terribly, gratefully, and unsurprisingly got humbled today.

Terror prof against my people-pleasing self. When asked, answer honestly.

From a score of 40, nangalahati kasi hindi crosswise. Ayun, I took it harder than usual but kept it in.

I thought about it on the travel home.

The start of the year.

Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko magawang maglagay ng personal kong buhay at paniniwala online, aside from a few things here and there.

A part of me wants to reject sharing things, and a part of me wants to be seen.

Sa ngayon, hindi ko pa sigurado kung paano balansehin.

Pagod na akong gawin ang makakaya ko.

Parang karamihan ng ginagawa ko, sumasabog lang pabalik sa akin eh.

Lol, ambigat agad ng unang lapag.

Sobrang shit ng pakiramdam ko these days. Hindi sa dami ng gawain eh, kundi sa mga katrabaho.