Kelly M. Pratt
@kellympratt.bsky.social
Mistress of shenanigans, buyer of snacks, petter of dogs.
I've had the song "Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls stuck in my head for a week. It's driving me nuts!
November 6, 2025 at 1:50 PM
I've had the song "Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls stuck in my head for a week. It's driving me nuts!
I got a bike! It's an e-bike, which means I can keep up with my much more athletic friends when we ride!
May 20, 2025 at 1:34 PM
I got a bike! It's an e-bike, which means I can keep up with my much more athletic friends when we ride!
Build an enormous, mysterious mansion on a hill someplace and use all that money to become the town's local urban legend. Like, get it to the level where Netflix will one day have an entire limited series dedicated to me.
If you were a Bezos or Musk level of rich what frivolous thing would you do?
I don’t want all the goody cure world hunger/cure cancer stuff.
I want to hear the proper mad shit.
I don’t want all the goody cure world hunger/cure cancer stuff.
I want to hear the proper mad shit.
April 24, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Build an enormous, mysterious mansion on a hill someplace and use all that money to become the town's local urban legend. Like, get it to the level where Netflix will one day have an entire limited series dedicated to me.
I need to know if Bluesky is only for smart people saying smart people things, or if I can do some stream of consciousness stuff here. I am in no way important or (usually) well informed and things I write here will reflect that.
March 27, 2025 at 2:59 PM
I need to know if Bluesky is only for smart people saying smart people things, or if I can do some stream of consciousness stuff here. I am in no way important or (usually) well informed and things I write here will reflect that.
A poor guy at my work dropped his lunch and I was helping him clean it up, but I accidentally knelt down on some of it. Now I have turmeric all over the knees of my jeans.
I know the internet makes fun of people who don't season their food and all, but at least bland food doesn't ruin my pants!
I know the internet makes fun of people who don't season their food and all, but at least bland food doesn't ruin my pants!
January 21, 2025 at 6:39 PM
A poor guy at my work dropped his lunch and I was helping him clean it up, but I accidentally knelt down on some of it. Now I have turmeric all over the knees of my jeans.
I know the internet makes fun of people who don't season their food and all, but at least bland food doesn't ruin my pants!
I know the internet makes fun of people who don't season their food and all, but at least bland food doesn't ruin my pants!
The First Lady looks like she borrowed her inaugural outfit from Cam Newton.
January 20, 2025 at 11:19 PM
The First Lady looks like she borrowed her inaugural outfit from Cam Newton.
My mom started following me on Threads which means I will have to stop using swears.
I wonder if she knows about Bluesky?
I wonder if she knows about Bluesky?
January 17, 2025 at 6:23 PM
My mom started following me on Threads which means I will have to stop using swears.
I wonder if she knows about Bluesky?
I wonder if she knows about Bluesky?
I burnt the shit out of my tongue on my oatmeal this morning, and I don't think that eating something healthy should come with pain and suffering.
January 6, 2025 at 4:09 PM
I burnt the shit out of my tongue on my oatmeal this morning, and I don't think that eating something healthy should come with pain and suffering.
I've got a Christmas screen saver on our office smart TV that has random Christmas music playing that I can't control. So far, it's fine. If the damned "Christmas Shoes" song comes on, though, I will rip the TV off the wall and throw it off the roof of the building.
December 4, 2024 at 3:11 PM
I've got a Christmas screen saver on our office smart TV that has random Christmas music playing that I can't control. So far, it's fine. If the damned "Christmas Shoes" song comes on, though, I will rip the TV off the wall and throw it off the roof of the building.
Today I've bitten my tongue, cut my hands in three places and sneezed so hard I might have turned my head inside out. If I somehow decapitate myself trying to scratch my forehead, I would be surprised.
November 25, 2024 at 7:56 PM
Today I've bitten my tongue, cut my hands in three places and sneezed so hard I might have turned my head inside out. If I somehow decapitate myself trying to scratch my forehead, I would be surprised.
I gave blood today!
March 26, 2024 at 8:04 PM
I gave blood today!
I'm fairly certain that I'm at a point in my life that if anyone did anything even remotely kind for me, I'd immediately start crying.
January 11, 2024 at 9:31 PM
I'm fairly certain that I'm at a point in my life that if anyone did anything even remotely kind for me, I'd immediately start crying.
Everyone is talking about the Naked Bass Pro Shop guy, but all I want to know is: Are the fish ok?
January 9, 2024 at 9:07 PM
Everyone is talking about the Naked Bass Pro Shop guy, but all I want to know is: Are the fish ok?
What fresh hell will 2024 bring? Details to come!
January 2, 2024 at 3:46 PM
What fresh hell will 2024 bring? Details to come!
I got an AI bot to make a picture of me, but I was too afraid to keep it or upload it anywhere. It was too perfect and weird. Like Polar Express kind of weird. I can't let something that good looking out into the world! It would just bring disappointment to anyone who saw what I really look like.
December 28, 2023 at 1:56 PM
I got an AI bot to make a picture of me, but I was too afraid to keep it or upload it anywhere. It was too perfect and weird. Like Polar Express kind of weird. I can't let something that good looking out into the world! It would just bring disappointment to anyone who saw what I really look like.
I pulled a muscle in my neck and had to put a makeshift ice pack on it this morning at work. I accidentally squished it, the pack leaked, and water spilled down my back and soaked my shirt. Also, it's very cold. Starting off the day with a bang, I tell ya!
December 27, 2023 at 2:59 PM
I pulled a muscle in my neck and had to put a makeshift ice pack on it this morning at work. I accidentally squished it, the pack leaked, and water spilled down my back and soaked my shirt. Also, it's very cold. Starting off the day with a bang, I tell ya!
I'm the only one left in the office. I'm going to put my butt on EVERYTHING.
December 26, 2023 at 9:43 PM
I'm the only one left in the office. I'm going to put my butt on EVERYTHING.
That was the least Christmassy Christmas I’ve ever Christmassed. Bah...humbug.
December 26, 2023 at 2:03 PM
That was the least Christmassy Christmas I’ve ever Christmassed. Bah...humbug.
I'm probably going to overdose on Cheez-It crackers soon. I have no control over myself when they are around.
December 21, 2023 at 4:17 PM
I'm probably going to overdose on Cheez-It crackers soon. I have no control over myself when they are around.
Well, let's see what I can get up to here!
December 21, 2023 at 2:20 PM
Well, let's see what I can get up to here!