Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene.bsky.social
Writer, satirist, chronically online. Currently @ Buzzfeed.
Work in The Hard Times, Hard Drive, Weekly Humorist, The Belladonna Comedy, Slackjaw, etc. New Substack post every Friday (TMI - Too Much Internet). https://linktr.ee/kelleygreene
Work in The Hard Times, Hard Drive, Weekly Humorist, The Belladonna Comedy, Slackjaw, etc. New Substack post every Friday (TMI - Too Much Internet). https://linktr.ee/kelleygreene
Pinned
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene.bsky.social
· Nov 23
the writing ideas i jotted down at 3am sitting in my notes app
Northern lights out the back door!!
November 12, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Northern lights out the back door!!
trying to find my pinky toenail while giving myself a pedicure
November 3, 2025 at 8:48 PM
trying to find my pinky toenail while giving myself a pedicure
daniel jones don't ruin my fantasy team's chances today challenge
November 2, 2025 at 8:17 PM
daniel jones don't ruin my fantasy team's chances today challenge
Happy Halloween!! 🎃 👻 🌽
Just Because This is The Twilight Zone Doesn’t Mean Your Kid Can Put His “Creations” In My Cornfield
Where am I supposed to put all of this, and why has it become my responsibility?
medium.com
October 31, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Happy Halloween!! 🎃 👻 🌽
mfw i see farthest frontier has finally left early access and i can start getting achievements
a green cartoon character with a blue background
ALT: a green cartoon character with a blue background
media.tenor.com
October 24, 2025 at 10:28 PM
mfw i see farthest frontier has finally left early access and i can start getting achievements
today's aws issues in a nutshell
October 21, 2025 at 2:13 AM
today's aws issues in a nutshell
baker mayfield
baker baker mayfield
get some baker and you put him in some mayfield
baker mayfield
touchdown's what he's gonna make
baker mayfieeeeeeeld
baker baker mayfield
get some baker and you put him in some mayfield
baker mayfield
touchdown's what he's gonna make
baker mayfieeeeeeeld
October 21, 2025 at 2:09 AM
baker mayfield
baker baker mayfield
get some baker and you put him in some mayfield
baker mayfield
touchdown's what he's gonna make
baker mayfieeeeeeeld
baker baker mayfield
get some baker and you put him in some mayfield
baker mayfield
touchdown's what he's gonna make
baker mayfieeeeeeeld
Reposted by Kelley Greene
i feel like i generally do okay understanding younger generations' slang but them using "ASL" as "as hell" is REALLY throwing me off
October 20, 2025 at 6:05 PM
i feel like i generally do okay understanding younger generations' slang but them using "ASL" as "as hell" is REALLY throwing me off
Reposted by Kelley Greene
Roll that unbearable bean footage
October 19, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Roll that unbearable bean footage
the dream is convincing a university to hire me as a football coach then living off the buyout from my contract after i'm immediately fired
BREAKING: Florida has fired head coach Billy Napier, @theathletic.com has learned.
Napier was 22-23 in four seasons.
His buyout is around $19 million, with no offset from another job. About $9.7 million is due within 30 days. The rest paid annually into 2028.
Napier was 22-23 in four seasons.
His buyout is around $19 million, with no offset from another job. About $9.7 million is due within 30 days. The rest paid annually into 2028.
October 19, 2025 at 6:25 PM
the dream is convincing a university to hire me as a football coach then living off the buyout from my contract after i'm immediately fired
back from my writer's residency and talking about microsoft crocs
Squirrel Mob
Internet round-up for the week of October 13, 2025
kelleygreene.substack.com
October 19, 2025 at 5:01 PM
back from my writer's residency and talking about microsoft crocs
red zone countdown sounds like background music for beauty and the beast
October 19, 2025 at 4:59 PM
red zone countdown sounds like background music for beauty and the beast
is george santos back on cameo yet 👀
October 18, 2025 at 3:20 AM
is george santos back on cameo yet 👀
i just wanna online window shop without the company sending me emails about something i looked at one time 😫
October 16, 2025 at 4:56 PM
i just wanna online window shop without the company sending me emails about something i looked at one time 😫
feeling very millennial today so i typed "notez" into the top of my google doc only to have it autocorrected. technology is ruining our lives
October 9, 2025 at 3:26 PM
feeling very millennial today so i typed "notez" into the top of my google doc only to have it autocorrected. technology is ruining our lives
scott hansen taking his last-minute piss rn
October 5, 2025 at 5:00 PM
scott hansen taking his last-minute piss rn
i absolutely love bluesky but it's hard for me to leave twitter because i can still directly call russ vought a bitch and know he can see it
October 3, 2025 at 5:21 PM
i absolutely love bluesky but it's hard for me to leave twitter because i can still directly call russ vought a bitch and know he can see it
Reposted by Kelley Greene
Them: So what have y'all been up to?
Me: Haha, you know. The usual.
The Usual:
Me: Haha, you know. The usual.
The Usual:
September 25, 2025 at 11:11 AM
Them: So what have y'all been up to?
Me: Haha, you know. The usual.
The Usual:
Me: Haha, you know. The usual.
The Usual:
Reposted by Kelley Greene
Becoming increasingly clear we’re gonna have to build a parallel infrastructure for all the media we really love. The reason all of this is happening under the color of law is hyperconsolidation, dissent being traded straight up for merger approval, or fear of harassment.
September 18, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Becoming increasingly clear we’re gonna have to build a parallel infrastructure for all the media we really love. The reason all of this is happening under the color of law is hyperconsolidation, dissent being traded straight up for merger approval, or fear of harassment.
I’ve been out on the front lines doing hard hitting journalism
www.buzzfeed.com/kelley_green...
www.buzzfeed.com/kelley_green...
Here's Every Single Thought I Had While Watching "Twilight" For The Very First Time
The 2008 nostalgia is hitting VERY hard.
www.buzzfeed.com
September 20, 2025 at 2:55 AM
I’ve been out on the front lines doing hard hitting journalism
www.buzzfeed.com/kelley_green...
www.buzzfeed.com/kelley_green...
Reposted by Kelley Greene
The following is a statement from the WGA on ABC’s decision to pull ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’
September 18, 2025 at 2:41 AM
The following is a statement from the WGA on ABC’s decision to pull ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’
Reposted by Kelley Greene
i just looked up the win probability graph from last night's bills-ravens game. granted you don't want to put too much stock into probability models, but it really does put buffalo's comeback into a new perspective
September 8, 2025 at 8:10 PM
i just looked up the win probability graph from last night's bills-ravens game. granted you don't want to put too much stock into probability models, but it really does put buffalo's comeback into a new perspective