Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene.bsky.social
Writer, satirist, chronically online. Currently @ Buzzfeed.
Work in The Hard Times, Hard Drive, Weekly Humorist, The Belladonna Comedy, Slackjaw, etc. New Substack post every Friday (TMI - Too Much Internet). https://linktr.ee/kelleygreene
Work in The Hard Times, Hard Drive, Weekly Humorist, The Belladonna Comedy, Slackjaw, etc. New Substack post every Friday (TMI - Too Much Internet). https://linktr.ee/kelleygreene
Pinned
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene.bsky.social
· Nov 23
the writing ideas i jotted down at 3am sitting in my notes app
talkin' bryan johnson, lego shoes, and cows over on the substack this week
It Follows
Internet round-up for the week of January 19, 2026
kelleygreene.substack.com
January 24, 2026 at 12:03 AM
talkin' bryan johnson, lego shoes, and cows over on the substack this week
if i send you this it means for shurr
January 23, 2026 at 4:04 AM
if i send you this it means for shurr
the guy i always end up standing behind at concerts
January 22, 2026 at 3:46 AM
the guy i always end up standing behind at concerts
am i just old or is every lid 4000 times tighter these days
January 17, 2026 at 9:08 PM
am i just old or is every lid 4000 times tighter these days
twitter down this morning
January 16, 2026 at 3:51 PM
twitter down this morning
Reposted by Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene.bsky.social is back for another episode of the Boner Tabulator Files to discuss her Roman Empire, form tech exec and man seeking immortality, Bryan Johnson.
Another Bryan Johnson Update w/ Kelley Greene | Culture Dumpster
Get more from Culture Dumpster on Patreon
www.patreon.com
January 9, 2026 at 3:17 PM
@kelleygreene.bsky.social is back for another episode of the Boner Tabulator Files to discuss her Roman Empire, form tech exec and man seeking immortality, Bryan Johnson.
if we survive the next 3 years of trump, i WILL NOT SETTLE for a moderate. i want medicare for all. i want trans folks protected. and i want all of these fuckers prosecuted
January 8, 2026 at 6:27 PM
if we survive the next 3 years of trump, i WILL NOT SETTLE for a moderate. i want medicare for all. i want trans folks protected. and i want all of these fuckers prosecuted
Reposted by Kelley Greene
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
January 7, 2026 at 8:26 PM
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
it's going great on threads
January 6, 2026 at 10:45 PM
it's going great on threads
i forgot the word "tortilla" and called it a burrito skin
January 6, 2026 at 10:42 PM
i forgot the word "tortilla" and called it a burrito skin
chicago's first-tuesday-at-10-am tornado siren test about had me jumping out of my skin this morning
January 6, 2026 at 4:01 PM
chicago's first-tuesday-at-10-am tornado siren test about had me jumping out of my skin this morning
Reposted by Kelley Greene
The hilarious @kelleygreene.bsky.social will be joining the show this week for another Bryan Johnson: Boner Tabulator update.
"Bryan Johnson: Boner Tabulator" W/ Kelley Greene | Culture Dumpster
Get more from Culture Dumpster on Patreon
www.patreon.com
January 6, 2026 at 2:31 AM
The hilarious @kelleygreene.bsky.social will be joining the show this week for another Bryan Johnson: Boner Tabulator update.
Reposted by Kelley Greene
The first two hours this morning
January 5, 2026 at 11:21 AM
The first two hours this morning
work laptop freezing up first thing this morning...it's not ready to come back from the holiday either
January 5, 2026 at 4:10 PM
work laptop freezing up first thing this morning...it's not ready to come back from the holiday either
come for the pop-tarts, stay for the weird billionaires
Myelinated Fibers
Internet round-up for the week of December 29, 2025
kelleygreene.substack.com
January 2, 2026 at 11:13 PM
come for the pop-tarts, stay for the weird billionaires
See price in cart? Baby it’s not goin in there if I don’t know how much it is
December 31, 2025 at 5:39 AM
See price in cart? Baby it’s not goin in there if I don’t know how much it is
i'm in the championship game in BOTH my fantasy leagues this year and i still can't quite figure out how that happened
December 25, 2025 at 6:39 PM
i'm in the championship game in BOTH my fantasy leagues this year and i still can't quite figure out how that happened
oh great NORAD has santa's assassination coordinates
Official NORAD Tracks Santa
noradsanta.org
December 24, 2025 at 3:55 PM
oh great NORAD has santa's assassination coordinates
The state of the union is in like three weeks. This couldn’t wait?
December 18, 2025 at 2:18 AM
The state of the union is in like three weeks. This couldn’t wait?
LOLLLLL 1776 dollars America is a used car lot
December 18, 2025 at 2:16 AM
LOLLLLL 1776 dollars America is a used car lot
Reposted by Kelley Greene
December 17, 2025 at 10:00 PM
THE TOUCHDOWN WAS EVEN BETTER
December 14, 2025 at 10:42 PM
THE TOUCHDOWN WAS EVEN BETTER
watching philip rivers get a first down
December 14, 2025 at 10:40 PM
watching philip rivers get a first down