Kathy Flann
@keflann.bsky.social
Writer, 4 books, incl. How to Survive a Human Attack: A Guide for Werewolves, Mummies, Cyborgs, Ghosts, Nuclear Mutants, and Other Movie Monsters. Words in McSweeney’s, Boston Globe, WaPo, Slate, HuffPo. Member HWA, SFWA
www.kathyflann.com
www.kathyflann.com
Pinned
Kathy Flann
@keflann.bsky.social
· Jul 16
A lifelong Republican speaks out! My latest for Weekly Humorist #humor @weeklyhumorist.bsky.social
It’s a strange world that has fingers crossed for the weirdly specific scenario that Tucker Carlson raises a daughter like Liz Cheney.
November 8, 2025 at 6:30 PM
It’s a strange world that has fingers crossed for the weirdly specific scenario that Tucker Carlson raises a daughter like Liz Cheney.
Pic doesn’t do justice to how many seniors come out weekly to protest at this intersection. They’re also on other corners. #Baltimore
November 5, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Pic doesn’t do justice to how many seniors come out weekly to protest at this intersection. They’re also on other corners. #Baltimore
It’s International Stress Awareness Week! I don’t know about you, but I am aware.
November 4, 2025 at 12:26 AM
It’s International Stress Awareness Week! I don’t know about you, but I am aware.
This evening, my dog slammed my laptop shut with a paw and said, “Neither time nor kibble is a construct.”
November 2, 2025 at 11:06 PM
This evening, my dog slammed my laptop shut with a paw and said, “Neither time nor kibble is a construct.”
Just a quick note to say my 9yo son and I now wear the same shoe size.
October 28, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Just a quick note to say my 9yo son and I now wear the same shoe size.
I’m embarrassed to say I don’t remember Mr. Rooter’s first name.
October 25, 2025 at 2:39 PM
I’m embarrassed to say I don’t remember Mr. Rooter’s first name.
My dog kept tiptoeing downstairs in the pitch black last night — he usually sleeps like a 10-pound rock. I heard him go again and followed, bracing for an intruder, a fire, a cocaine bear. But in fact, he was inspecting the empty timed feeder I’d brought out of storage to check the batteries
October 25, 2025 at 4:20 AM
My dog kept tiptoeing downstairs in the pitch black last night — he usually sleeps like a 10-pound rock. I heard him go again and followed, bracing for an intruder, a fire, a cocaine bear. But in fact, he was inspecting the empty timed feeder I’d brought out of storage to check the batteries
Dear Republicans, it’s not “joking” if you actually mean it. Instead, it’s called “laughing.” Examples of the distinction between “joking” and “laughing” include Scar and Chucky.
October 20, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Dear Republicans, it’s not “joking” if you actually mean it. Instead, it’s called “laughing.” Examples of the distinction between “joking” and “laughing” include Scar and Chucky.
ONE place had a “kids’ martini” — really a Shirley Temple — and now my 8yo marches into every establishment, like “Can I get a martini or?”
October 12, 2025 at 3:24 AM
ONE place had a “kids’ martini” — really a Shirley Temple — and now my 8yo marches into every establishment, like “Can I get a martini or?”
Almost every day, someone points at my Yorkie mix and asks his age and I say nine, and they go, “What?? But he’s so little!” and I’ve legitimately become curious if everyone knows how small dogs work. 👀
September 30, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Almost every day, someone points at my Yorkie mix and asks his age and I say nine, and they go, “What?? But he’s so little!” and I’ve legitimately become curious if everyone knows how small dogs work. 👀
The “out of control” people of Portland:
a man with a beard wearing a striped shirt is smiling
Alt: a man with a beard wearing a striped shirt is smiling
media.tenor.com
September 27, 2025 at 4:23 PM
The “out of control” people of Portland:
That thing happened where a stranger waved …. at someone behind me why does this always feel like a small death? 🤣
a man with red hair is making a funny face while wearing a colorful shirt .
Alt: a man with red hair is making a funny face while wearing a colorful shirt .
media.tenor.com
September 27, 2025 at 4:15 PM
That thing happened where a stranger waved …. at someone behind me why does this always feel like a small death? 🤣
Travel dental floss: Because the only thing stopping people from flossing on vacation is the gi-normous container.
September 26, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Travel dental floss: Because the only thing stopping people from flossing on vacation is the gi-normous container.
This is my first literal fluff piece! 🤣 It’s the featured story on the site today. Many thanks to @nextavenue.bsky.social! Link in comments. #dogs
September 24, 2025 at 2:59 PM
This is my first literal fluff piece! 🤣 It’s the featured story on the site today. Many thanks to @nextavenue.bsky.social! Link in comments. #dogs
My neuro-divergent child has once again cracked himself up singing, “Self-control to Major Tom, Self-control to Major Tom…THIS IS SELF CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM!!”
September 20, 2025 at 2:05 PM
My neuro-divergent child has once again cracked himself up singing, “Self-control to Major Tom, Self-control to Major Tom…THIS IS SELF CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM!!”
Exciting upgrades to the First Amendment include replacing free speech with luxury options, like $100k Whisper Status and our fabulous $1 million Gold Visa Chatterbox Package!
September 20, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Exciting upgrades to the First Amendment include replacing free speech with luxury options, like $100k Whisper Status and our fabulous $1 million Gold Visa Chatterbox Package!
Imagine a bunch of white guys from a factory town in the Rust Belt who do the total opposite of blaming their community’s problems on women’s lib or whatever and THAT’s the amazing documentary about Devo! Info in comments. #Devo
September 19, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Imagine a bunch of white guys from a factory town in the Rust Belt who do the total opposite of blaming their community’s problems on women’s lib or whatever and THAT’s the amazing documentary about Devo! Info in comments. #Devo
Reposted by Kathy Flann
Oscar Nuñez joins the Andy Richter Call-In Show this Wednesday - and we want to hear your WORST FAMILY OUTINGS. Whether it’s a nice dinner gone wrong or a vacation from hell, fill out the Google Form in my bio or leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604
September 19, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Oscar Nuñez joins the Andy Richter Call-In Show this Wednesday - and we want to hear your WORST FAMILY OUTINGS. Whether it’s a nice dinner gone wrong or a vacation from hell, fill out the Google Form in my bio or leave a voicemail at 855-266-2604
Reposted by Kathy Flann
What do we all need right now? Probably some “poems” crafted from Nextdoor posts! Many thanks to @identitytheory.bsky.social for featuring #satire www.identitytheory.com/unexpected-p...
The Unexpected Poetry of NextDoor Digest - Identity Theory
He can be scary. He can be sweet. He always rings the doorbell.
www.identitytheory.com
September 8, 2025 at 12:38 AM
What do we all need right now? Probably some “poems” crafted from Nextdoor posts! Many thanks to @identitytheory.bsky.social for featuring #satire www.identitytheory.com/unexpected-p...
Unfortunately, this only encourages my benign neglect style of plant parenting.
September 13, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Unfortunately, this only encourages my benign neglect style of plant parenting.
What do we all need right now? Probably some “poems” crafted from Nextdoor posts! Many thanks to @identitytheory.bsky.social for featuring #satire www.identitytheory.com/unexpected-p...
The Unexpected Poetry of NextDoor Digest - Identity Theory
He can be scary. He can be sweet. He always rings the doorbell.
www.identitytheory.com
September 8, 2025 at 12:38 AM
What do we all need right now? Probably some “poems” crafted from Nextdoor posts! Many thanks to @identitytheory.bsky.social for featuring #satire www.identitytheory.com/unexpected-p...
Reposted by Kathy Flann
"FREE couch!
It could be totally wild."
Read "The Unexpected Poetry of NextDoor Digest" by @keflann.bsky.social
It could be totally wild."
Read "The Unexpected Poetry of NextDoor Digest" by @keflann.bsky.social
The Unexpected Poetry of NextDoor Digest - Identity Theory
He can be scary. He can be sweet. He always rings the doorbell.
www.identitytheory.com
September 7, 2025 at 5:49 PM
"FREE couch!
It could be totally wild."
Read "The Unexpected Poetry of NextDoor Digest" by @keflann.bsky.social
It could be totally wild."
Read "The Unexpected Poetry of NextDoor Digest" by @keflann.bsky.social
Cocaine is a hell of a drug… for rich people on vacation.
September 6, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Cocaine is a hell of a drug… for rich people on vacation.