getting a lot better with the drawing pad, i feel as if i am somewhat getting somewhere. i dont need to undo every line over five times which means i must be improving. i really want a hug... despite how bad my relationship was i miss this special feeling. i hate the dirt being loose below my feet.
December 22, 2025 at 7:02 PM
getting a lot better with the drawing pad, i feel as if i am somewhat getting somewhere. i dont need to undo every line over five times which means i must be improving. i really want a hug... despite how bad my relationship was i miss this special feeling. i hate the dirt being loose below my feet.
maybe i really was a manic pixie dream girl in practice.
December 21, 2025 at 8:04 PM
maybe i really was a manic pixie dream girl in practice.
the sad truth is it really is difficult to see that i have it truly hard. i simply have to believe and take faith in what is told to me by people i trust. i hold in so much i never notice until it comes out... i hope hormones help with this... please let me be emotional again... i miss it so much...
December 21, 2025 at 11:10 AM
the sad truth is it really is difficult to see that i have it truly hard. i simply have to believe and take faith in what is told to me by people i trust. i hold in so much i never notice until it comes out... i hope hormones help with this... please let me be emotional again... i miss it so much...
i have been stuck running my tires in the mud all my life... i need to stop this cycle now or never. i dont know if i will ever exist if that continues on anymore if it has... i just want to exist, i simply want to be. i cant live on my own i need others... but i have to stand for myself its so hard
December 21, 2025 at 10:42 AM
i have been stuck running my tires in the mud all my life... i need to stop this cycle now or never. i dont know if i will ever exist if that continues on anymore if it has... i just want to exist, i simply want to be. i cant live on my own i need others... but i have to stand for myself its so hard
god i really like her... i really wish i didnt exist on the internet... i get so excited and i spout out so much from my brain without even realizing it. i really really really really like her actually i cant even help it... i feel like i should wait longer and see how my feelings stabilize still...
December 20, 2025 at 7:06 AM
god i really like her... i really wish i didnt exist on the internet... i get so excited and i spout out so much from my brain without even realizing it. i really really really really like her actually i cant even help it... i feel like i should wait longer and see how my feelings stabilize still...
i need to take a break from researching i keep getting too sick from it. needles and the like get to my head and bleeding. a little nervous because i have a bleeding condition but maybe ill be fine? i should list some more items now that i have boxes... i need much more money than this...
December 20, 2025 at 12:27 AM
i need to take a break from researching i keep getting too sick from it. needles and the like get to my head and bleeding. a little nervous because i have a bleeding condition but maybe ill be fine? i should list some more items now that i have boxes... i need much more money than this...
eye bags are getting kind of big... feeling a little squeamish in my stomach. despite this i feel better than i did all year. the drawing tablet i was gifted came in and i spent all day configuring it. im not sure why i am afraid of admitting certain emotions... i feel like im always judged somehow.
December 19, 2025 at 6:02 PM
eye bags are getting kind of big... feeling a little squeamish in my stomach. despite this i feel better than i did all year. the drawing tablet i was gifted came in and i spent all day configuring it. im not sure why i am afraid of admitting certain emotions... i feel like im always judged somehow.
i really wonder if i truly do have BPD... i would rather have an autism diagnoses instead but i really wonder.
December 18, 2025 at 9:13 AM
i really wonder if i truly do have BPD... i would rather have an autism diagnoses instead but i really wonder.
sometimes i feel like a fraud and i simply dont know why
December 17, 2025 at 8:31 AM
sometimes i feel like a fraud and i simply dont know why
i want to be hugged i want to be kissed i want to be loved i want to hold onto someone so tight and feel their heart beat against mine i was to cling onto them and smell so much i want to be held and told its alright with their hand in my hair i want to see a warm caring smile and drift away...
December 17, 2025 at 8:16 AM
i want to be hugged i want to be kissed i want to be loved i want to hold onto someone so tight and feel their heart beat against mine i was to cling onto them and smell so much i want to be held and told its alright with their hand in my hair i want to see a warm caring smile and drift away...
been selling stuff lately, finally made over $200! kind of sad right now. i wish my brain wouldnt flip this way. my head hurts my chest hurts. i had a relatively decent day so im confused... ill be okay but i need a hug so bad... i want to be something more... i need to keep progressing.
December 17, 2025 at 8:13 AM
been selling stuff lately, finally made over $200! kind of sad right now. i wish my brain wouldnt flip this way. my head hurts my chest hurts. i had a relatively decent day so im confused... ill be okay but i need a hug so bad... i want to be something more... i need to keep progressing.
These days feel so fast yet slow lately? I finally started to list my games and made some sales already! The fees are a little insane though I would be lucky if i even 3/4ths of the amount i calculated i think... despite that I feel a bit more content. I even drew again!!! I just need to keep it up.
December 13, 2025 at 2:10 AM
These days feel so fast yet slow lately? I finally started to list my games and made some sales already! The fees are a little insane though I would be lucky if i even 3/4ths of the amount i calculated i think... despite that I feel a bit more content. I even drew again!!! I just need to keep it up.
since my sinus problems are coming back i feel a depression settling in... my head is flowing in the worst way possible, it's rather unbearable. hard to focus, hard to think, hard to act. i wish my appointments really were sooner... waiting months just to get my first visit is hell to me...
December 9, 2025 at 5:49 PM
since my sinus problems are coming back i feel a depression settling in... my head is flowing in the worst way possible, it's rather unbearable. hard to focus, hard to think, hard to act. i wish my appointments really were sooner... waiting months just to get my first visit is hell to me...
i feel a bit paranoid today... i am trying to remind myself but its hard... nothing even happened but its striking my head a little. ill be okay i just need to persist. i really wish i could get a hug...
December 9, 2025 at 4:11 PM
i feel a bit paranoid today... i am trying to remind myself but its hard... nothing even happened but its striking my head a little. ill be okay i just need to persist. i really wish i could get a hug...
i felt so high last night i really let it get to my head... i feel a headache closing in and my sinus problems are back, maybe i should stick to the sinus medication again. i feel as if i did something wrong though. i really hope i didnt... i will move through my day i have things to do still.
December 9, 2025 at 3:44 PM
i felt so high last night i really let it get to my head... i feel a headache closing in and my sinus problems are back, maybe i should stick to the sinus medication again. i feel as if i did something wrong though. i really hope i didnt... i will move through my day i have things to do still.
i was very happy to spend my night with her last night... interacting really is a joy to me i feel appreciated... beyond that though i want everything to go well. i know there will be bumps but ill do my best to go over them. i see someone special i believe. little steps day by day, never dying...
December 8, 2025 at 5:00 PM
i was very happy to spend my night with her last night... interacting really is a joy to me i feel appreciated... beyond that though i want everything to go well. i know there will be bumps but ill do my best to go over them. i see someone special i believe. little steps day by day, never dying...
feeling ill today... hopelessly spent at the least an hour trying to sleep last night. i did get up to eat and take more photos but otherwise i feel spent. ended up napping for a little bit. i feel better now but my sinuses are in overdrive. i dont want my drive to end like this... i can do better.
December 8, 2025 at 4:57 PM
feeling ill today... hopelessly spent at the least an hour trying to sleep last night. i did get up to eat and take more photos but otherwise i feel spent. ended up napping for a little bit. i feel better now but my sinuses are in overdrive. i dont want my drive to end like this... i can do better.
god i slept in so late i need to eat and do what i need to do...
December 7, 2025 at 4:29 PM
god i slept in so late i need to eat and do what i need to do...
i can not fall for previous bad habits. i must try my best to keep myself in check, my life depends on it. i need to show action and dedication. after i sleep i must work hard on my next step. if i dont finish it today that is okay... i just need to get a good portion of it done. day by day...
December 7, 2025 at 5:35 AM
i can not fall for previous bad habits. i must try my best to keep myself in check, my life depends on it. i need to show action and dedication. after i sleep i must work hard on my next step. if i dont finish it today that is okay... i just need to get a good portion of it done. day by day...
i want everything to work out, i really want everything to be right. the desire to be there for her is rather strong. i love my friends and i want to make sure everything is well. the the trust is there already which makes me feel eased... i felt the restless urge to do something yesterday, good...
December 6, 2025 at 4:08 PM
i want everything to work out, i really want everything to be right. the desire to be there for her is rather strong. i love my friends and i want to make sure everything is well. the the trust is there already which makes me feel eased... i felt the restless urge to do something yesterday, good...
I am getting better day by day, I have a goal in mind; I will try my best to obtain it. I have a good friend, we slip but we catch each other. We instill a positive feedback loop. We can talk through our negative moments. I did not run away like I would have last year, I did improve. Little steps...
December 5, 2025 at 6:46 AM
I am getting better day by day, I have a goal in mind; I will try my best to obtain it. I have a good friend, we slip but we catch each other. We instill a positive feedback loop. We can talk through our negative moments. I did not run away like I would have last year, I did improve. Little steps...
i did what i needed but im still uneasy... am i even doing it right?
December 4, 2025 at 10:41 PM
i did what i needed but im still uneasy... am i even doing it right?
i should finally sell all my belongings. they really are pointless i never touch them or look at them. im not sure how much it would be in the grand scheme but i could make a pretty penny i suppose... i have so much work ahead of me. dont forget small steps... please never forget...
December 3, 2025 at 4:32 PM
i should finally sell all my belongings. they really are pointless i never touch them or look at them. im not sure how much it would be in the grand scheme but i could make a pretty penny i suppose... i have so much work ahead of me. dont forget small steps... please never forget...
i really should rip this bandaid off but its so fucking hard. i was feeling okay, even confident about my decision. then one small detail made me burst into tears on the way back. i need to focus on myself. im not fulfilled like this. the one talk last night was the most ive had all year.
December 3, 2025 at 4:21 PM
i really should rip this bandaid off but its so fucking hard. i was feeling okay, even confident about my decision. then one small detail made me burst into tears on the way back. i need to focus on myself. im not fulfilled like this. the one talk last night was the most ive had all year.
she is insanely cute though and i really liked looking at her but i couldnt ever admit that...
December 3, 2025 at 4:16 AM
she is insanely cute though and i really liked looking at her but i couldnt ever admit that...