look, i don’t come down to your place of business and slap a $20 bill into your hand as a tip, but i should because you’re a sweetie and you deserve it

All the credit that Tim Walz got as a VP candidate for good stuff that Minnesota has done? Melissa Hortman (and a bunch of other women) led the hard fight to get bills on his desk and make it politically safe for him to sign.

Bob Uecker statue earlier this evening

The oligarchs want you to be concerned about shoplifting shampoo at CVS, not their current smash-and-grab of an entire country.

sorry for my unfunny reply to your post. i thought you were into girls showing you their mid riffs

Remember, kids, if Santa asks you whether you’ve been naughty or nice this year, you should always say, “Am I being detained?”

hey dude, I noticed you thriving unburdened by the weight of history, have you considered inevitably repeating the painful mistakes of the past?

You know it's a fucked up day when people start sharing poems.

ordered a coffee and told them my name was mary christmas. everyone clapped and cheered because I had destroyed woke. they carried me out on their shoulders. and I said wait I don’t have my coffee yet. but no one could hear me over the applause.

This time around, the Kennedys are assassinating us.