Jerry Corley
@jokedoctor.bsky.social
Comedy Writer, screenwriter, comedian, author, dad. Trying to build back a presence in this site since skipping out on X.
She loves me. She loves me not," the sound of a flower reading your future.
December 10, 2025 at 9:38 AM
She loves me. She loves me not," the sound of a flower reading your future.
@vtanger.bsky.social in your article "OpenAI Is Suddenly in Major Trouble" on Futurism, you cite the Washington Post article on the same subject, but you say ChatGPT has 800 million weekly users, while the very article you cite at WAPO says, "800 million monthly users." Or am I missing something?
December 10, 2025 at 9:23 AM
@vtanger.bsky.social in your article "OpenAI Is Suddenly in Major Trouble" on Futurism, you cite the Washington Post article on the same subject, but you say ChatGPT has 800 million weekly users, while the very article you cite at WAPO says, "800 million monthly users." Or am I missing something?
Hockey, the way it was meant to be played.
Three fights in first nine seconds of US vs. Canada game at 4 Nations
www.detroitnews.com/story/sports...
www.detroitnews.com/story/sports...
February 16, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Hockey, the way it was meant to be played.
My daughter heard me say "I fell in love 'head over heels'" and she said, "Daddy How come they don't say 'heels over head'?"
I said, "That comes later."
I said, "That comes later."
February 16, 2025 at 2:05 AM
My daughter heard me say "I fell in love 'head over heels'" and she said, "Daddy How come they don't say 'heels over head'?"
I said, "That comes later."
I said, "That comes later."
Don’t worry, if Valentine’s Day doesn’t ruin your bank account, St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner—that’s when we celebrate alcoholism. i’m Irish, I’m already calling a bankruptcy attorney.
February 16, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Don’t worry, if Valentine’s Day doesn’t ruin your bank account, St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner—that’s when we celebrate alcoholism. i’m Irish, I’m already calling a bankruptcy attorney.
Valentine’s Day: a tender, candlelit, dopamine-fueled shakedown. If you need a designated day to say “I love you,” your relationship is already a dumpster fire, and no overpriced soufflé is gonna haul it out. #ValentinesDay
February 16, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Valentine’s Day: a tender, candlelit, dopamine-fueled shakedown. If you need a designated day to say “I love you,” your relationship is already a dumpster fire, and no overpriced soufflé is gonna haul it out. #ValentinesDay
The greeting card companies, the florists, the chocolatiers—they got together like a cartel of emotional loan sharks and figured out how to turn love into a transaction. They turned “I love you” into “We take Visa.” ❤️ #ValentinesDay
February 16, 2025 at 1:42 AM
The greeting card companies, the florists, the chocolatiers—they got together like a cartel of emotional loan sharks and figured out how to turn love into a transaction. They turned “I love you” into “We take Visa.” ❤️ #ValentinesDay
Reposted by Jerry Corley
"One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion. So now people assume that religion and morality have a necessary connection. But the basis of morality is really very simple and doesn't require religion at all."
Arthur C. Clarke
Arthur C. Clarke
February 12, 2025 at 2:58 PM
"One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion. So now people assume that religion and morality have a necessary connection. But the basis of morality is really very simple and doesn't require religion at all."
Arthur C. Clarke
Arthur C. Clarke
“If a nation expects to be ignorant and free ... it expects what never was and never will be.” — Thomas Jefferson
February 2, 2025 at 12:53 AM
“If a nation expects to be ignorant and free ... it expects what never was and never will be.” — Thomas Jefferson
You were always on point with the tough questions in that press room. I will be following you on Substack! You’re like the Dave Chappelle of news, not afraid to walk away when the network’s morals caved.
Really love this cartoon from the great Michael De Adder. The outpouring of support coming in has been truly amazing! Thanks everybody!
January 30, 2025 at 6:53 AM
You were always on point with the tough questions in that press room. I will be following you on Substack! You’re like the Dave Chappelle of news, not afraid to walk away when the network’s morals caved.
Reposted by Jerry Corley
I dated a girl like the bi-polar weather in CA. I called her the “Ice Princess.” She’d be happy in the morning. When I’d come home at night, before I went in, I’d touch the front door with my tongue. If it stuck, I’d stay at the neighbor’s.
January 25, 2025 at 10:43 PM
I dated a girl like the bi-polar weather in CA. I called her the “Ice Princess.” She’d be happy in the morning. When I’d come home at night, before I went in, I’d touch the front door with my tongue. If it stuck, I’d stay at the neighbor’s.
We all have moments when kindness feels distant, but a reminder like this can spark a quiet warmth. Here’s to finding those beautiful surprises waiting in your Saturday.”
January 25, 2025 at 10:38 PM
We all have moments when kindness feels distant, but a reminder like this can spark a quiet warmth. Here’s to finding those beautiful surprises waiting in your Saturday.”
Reposted by Jerry Corley
Isn’t that the truth
January 25, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Isn’t that the truth
Reposted by Jerry Corley
“To be distracted from one thing is to attend to another.” Social media is just the newest distraction. We’ve been distracted from each other since the iron stove. According to this piece from the New Yorker. link.newyorker.com/view/5c155a7...
The New Yorker Daily Newsletter
link.newyorker.com
January 25, 2025 at 7:07 AM
“To be distracted from one thing is to attend to another.” Social media is just the newest distraction. We’ve been distracted from each other since the iron stove. According to this piece from the New Yorker. link.newyorker.com/view/5c155a7...
How to write 1-liners like Steven Wright.
1. Grab 10-20 single subject idioms.
2. Find the paradoxes.
“They said I need a nest egg, then they said don’t put all your eggs in one basket. So do I need a nest or a basket? I feel like the chicken is fucking with my retirement.”
1. Grab 10-20 single subject idioms.
2. Find the paradoxes.
“They said I need a nest egg, then they said don’t put all your eggs in one basket. So do I need a nest or a basket? I feel like the chicken is fucking with my retirement.”
January 21, 2025 at 9:06 PM
How to write 1-liners like Steven Wright.
1. Grab 10-20 single subject idioms.
2. Find the paradoxes.
“They said I need a nest egg, then they said don’t put all your eggs in one basket. So do I need a nest or a basket? I feel like the chicken is fucking with my retirement.”
1. Grab 10-20 single subject idioms.
2. Find the paradoxes.
“They said I need a nest egg, then they said don’t put all your eggs in one basket. So do I need a nest or a basket? I feel like the chicken is fucking with my retirement.”
Reposted by Jerry Corley
i think the executive orders directing agencies to end energy efficiency regulations and open up more land to drilling and mining is so indicative of the character of the american right — in its view everything, whether people or our larger environment, is something to be exploited and dominated
January 21, 2025 at 2:02 PM
i think the executive orders directing agencies to end energy efficiency regulations and open up more land to drilling and mining is so indicative of the character of the american right — in its view everything, whether people or our larger environment, is something to be exploited and dominated
Reposted by Jerry Corley
This is who I’ll be thinking of tomorrow. Not some goddamn traitor’s return to the scene of his crime…..
January 20, 2025 at 1:34 AM
This is who I’ll be thinking of tomorrow. Not some goddamn traitor’s return to the scene of his crime…..
Who would say this?
January 20, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Who would say this?
Nice example of George Carlin’s philosophy of finding the unassailable truth. Just look one or two layers deeper into the story and there lies the hypocrisy.
January 19, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Nice example of George Carlin’s philosophy of finding the unassailable truth. Just look one or two layers deeper into the story and there lies the hypocrisy.
My oldest son is 31, when he was in Grammar school they decided that they weren’t going to teach cursive. I was like how are they going to learn how to read important documents. The principal was like what important documents? I was like, “I don’t know, maybe like the Declaration of Independence.”
The National Archives is looking for volunteers with an increasingly rare skill: Reading cursive.
Can you read cursive? It's a superpower the National Archives is looking for.
The National Archives is looking for volunteers with an increasingly rare skill: Reading cursive.
www.usatoday.com
January 17, 2025 at 1:37 AM
My oldest son is 31, when he was in Grammar school they decided that they weren’t going to teach cursive. I was like how are they going to learn how to read important documents. The principal was like what important documents? I was like, “I don’t know, maybe like the Declaration of Independence.”
Reposted by Jerry Corley
The National Archives is looking for volunteers with an increasingly rare skill: Reading cursive.
Can you read cursive? It's a superpower the National Archives is looking for.
The National Archives is looking for volunteers with an increasingly rare skill: Reading cursive.
www.usatoday.com
January 16, 2025 at 9:43 PM
The National Archives is looking for volunteers with an increasingly rare skill: Reading cursive.
Reposted by Jerry Corley
Why would they want to put America (and Americans) First when their voting record clearly shows they want their neighbors to either die a horrible death, lose everything they own, or both?
meidasnews.com/news/44-repu...
meidasnews.com/news/44-repu...
44 Republicans Voted Against Forest Management Wildfire Prevention in December
The funds allow states like California to create barriers to stop the spread of fires
meidasnews.com
January 12, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Why would they want to put America (and Americans) First when their voting record clearly shows they want their neighbors to either die a horrible death, lose everything they own, or both?
meidasnews.com/news/44-repu...
meidasnews.com/news/44-repu...