Joe DeNoon
@joethedumber.bsky.social
He/Him
Brooklyn-based writer and producer.
Check out my funny stuff at Commander’s Herald
NYY / NYG / Gotham FC / Knicks and Liberty
Brooklyn-based writer and producer.
Check out my funny stuff at Commander’s Herald
NYY / NYG / Gotham FC / Knicks and Liberty
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
It is unclear what provoked the use of the Blasphemous Act in the first place, but one source tells us it “set off panic bells” as it was “something here from somewhere else".
Border Patrol Caught Using Blasphemous Act on a Single Ornithopter | Commander's Herald
EL PASO, TX — Panic abounded earlier this week, as alarms rang out that a was fired off in the area, spreading fears of a greater conflict. However, after further investigation, it appears all the act...
commandersherald.com
February 17, 2026 at 5:14 PM
It is unclear what provoked the use of the Blasphemous Act in the first place, but one source tells us it “set off panic bells” as it was “something here from somewhere else".
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
i think jesse jackson was one of the most important american political figures of the post-war era and i think that his 1984 and 1988 campaigns for the democratic nomination still have a great deal to teach about forging a path to a more egalitarian world. RIP.
February 17, 2026 at 1:36 PM
i think jesse jackson was one of the most important american political figures of the post-war era and i think that his 1984 and 1988 campaigns for the democratic nomination still have a great deal to teach about forging a path to a more egalitarian world. RIP.
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
Melissa Baker & Charlene Lawyerer, two members of the pod with different backgrounds (Baker with Master Chef
and Lawyerer with $40k in student loan debt) first grazed each other’s fingertips above the oddly progressive anime titty playmat.
and Lawyerer with $40k in student loan debt) first grazed each other’s fingertips above the oddly progressive anime titty playmat.
Romantic Tension Escalates As Two Commander Players Going To Cut Same Deck's Hands Touch | Commander's Herald
Some have criticized the couple for suddenly ramping into a relationship, somehow managing to move in together before turn 5,
commandersherald.com
February 12, 2026 at 5:15 PM
Melissa Baker & Charlene Lawyerer, two members of the pod with different backgrounds (Baker with Master Chef
and Lawyerer with $40k in student loan debt) first grazed each other’s fingertips above the oddly progressive anime titty playmat.
and Lawyerer with $40k in student loan debt) first grazed each other’s fingertips above the oddly progressive anime titty playmat.
I knew it
“While we have advertised Sparky as being the best training partner for new and lapsed Magic players on Arena, we have not been so clear about whether or not Sparky was an actual person."
Report: MTG: Arena's Sparky Controlled By Unpaid Wizard's Intern | Commander's Herald
Wizards of The Coast revealed to be using an unnamed college intern to run the training "program" Sparky on Magic: The Gathering: Arena.
commandersherald.com
February 11, 2026 at 7:00 PM
I knew it
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
"He had brought an entire box that were professionally printed with blue cores and just started handing them out to all of the players while someone with a phone and a ring light followed him around."
Markiplier's Custom Magic Card Somehow Most Successful Card At Pro Tour Lorwyn Eclipsed | Commander's Herald
Richmond, VA — Exciting moments and pleasant surprises were abound the first weekend of February, from the relative lack of Izzet Spellslinger decks to the heartwarming tribute to the late champion Ka...
commandersherald.com
February 10, 2026 at 5:06 PM
"He had brought an entire box that were professionally printed with blue cores and just started handing them out to all of the players while someone with a phone and a ring light followed him around."
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
"I’m just trying to save me and another person having to skate for nothing, when we can both have half of a medal that President Trump will call us and demand we hand over to him.”
MTG Fan and Skater Amber Glenn Asks Opponents to Split Gold Medal | Commander's Herald
Amber Glenn has reportedly asked other skaters in the women's 300 meter downhill event she will be competing in if they'd be OK splitting the gold medal
commandersherald.com
February 9, 2026 at 10:58 PM
"I’m just trying to save me and another person having to skate for nothing, when we can both have half of a medal that President Trump will call us and demand we hand over to him.”
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
Elk me, daddy.
Every Version of Oko Ranked by How Quickly I'd Let Him Elk Me | Commander's Herald
As Magic: The Gathering’s number one thirst trap, Oko has warped the game’s horny meta. Perfectly uniting the hunk green archetype with the blue twink identity, he’s the ultimate fae fantasy, particul...
commandersherald.com
February 9, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Elk me, daddy.
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
February 9, 2026 at 6:14 PM
Amber Glenn, please come to my LGS!!
What Commander do you think Amber Glenn runs?
February 8, 2026 at 10:42 PM
Amber Glenn, please come to my LGS!!
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
my entire skyline is just people talking about amber glenn being into magic the gathering. i love bluesky, the nerdy sports website for millennials
February 8, 2026 at 7:45 PM
my entire skyline is just people talking about amber glenn being into magic the gathering. i love bluesky, the nerdy sports website for millennials
😭😭😭
Happy Super Bowl Sunday to those who celebrate
February 8, 2026 at 6:55 PM
😭😭😭
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
"Magic Grinder Injects Penis With Tylenol Ahead Of Arena Open"
February 7, 2026 at 9:08 PM
"Magic Grinder Injects Penis With Tylenol Ahead Of Arena Open"
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
🪨🇺🇸🦅
No need to pen an open letter to the tournament organizer, my latest from Commander's Herald is out now:
commandersherald.com/reedpop-anno...
commandersherald.com/reedpop-anno...
ReedPop Announces Real American MagicCon Following ICE Backlash | Commander's Herald
LYNCHBURG, VA — Following a string of controversies, walk-backs, and general fan animosity surrounding their parent company’s recent contracts with ICE, ReedPop announced earlier this week that they w...
commandersherald.com
February 6, 2026 at 8:41 PM
🪨🇺🇸🦅
Prayers up for my favorite format 🙏
"The gaming community may not be aware, but formats can contract diseases just like people. For example, it’s no secret that Modern has struggled with chronic chlamydia after getting repeatedly fucked by the Horizons sets.”
Pioneer Format Dies of Dysentery | Commander's Herald
"It is with heavy hearts that we announce that the Pioneer format passed away from dysentery" said WotC on social media today, with the comments turned off.
commandersherald.com
February 4, 2026 at 5:14 PM
Prayers up for my favorite format 🙏
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
“He just kept tossing the packs that didn’t have a foil and saying he was ‘increasing his chain’. No one could get in or out until he pulled one after 40 attempts. The shop still smells like curry from his foil hunting experiments last weekend.”
Pokemon Shiny Hunter Unsure How To Raise Foil Card Odds | Commander's Herald
GURNEE, IL — A fervor has fallen over local game store Riverside Comics and Games, as local Pokemon Shiny Hunter and newfound TCG collector Miguel Norton had gone to extraordinary lengths to try and o...
commandersherald.com
January 26, 2026 at 5:10 PM
“He just kept tossing the packs that didn’t have a foil and saying he was ‘increasing his chain’. No one could get in or out until he pulled one after 40 attempts. The shop still smells like curry from his foil hunting experiments last weekend.”
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
Alex Pretti was a colleague at the VA. We hired him to recruit for our trial. He became an ICU nurse- I lover working with him. He was a good kind person who lived to help and these fuckers executed him.
White. Hot. Rage.
White. Hot. Rage.
January 24, 2026 at 7:31 PM
Alex Pretti was a colleague at the VA. We hired him to recruit for our trial. He became an ICU nurse- I lover working with him. He was a good kind person who lived to help and these fuckers executed him.
White. Hot. Rage.
White. Hot. Rage.
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
Good morning. Fuck ice. Say it back.
January 24, 2026 at 12:51 PM
Good morning. Fuck ice. Say it back.
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
"They're taking the water right out of our land, our country, and now our decks. If it wasn't for the tax incentives given to wealthy people in town that I so desperately want to be, I'd have half a mind to tear that damn data center down."
Local Tundra Becomes Plains After AI Data Center Construction | Commander's Herald
Mount Pleasant, WI - Confusion and anger plague local residents after "the world's most powerful" AI datacenter was recently built within the city, which has caused a massive drain on many of the town...
commandersherald.com
January 12, 2026 at 5:11 PM
"They're taking the water right out of our land, our country, and now our decks. If it wasn't for the tax incentives given to wealthy people in town that I so desperately want to be, I'd have half a mind to tear that damn data center down."
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
Hylda has the right idea…
January 8, 2026 at 4:47 AM
Hylda has the right idea…
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
Great day to have functioning eyes and a working brain
January 7, 2026 at 8:12 PM
Great day to have functioning eyes and a working brain
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
the nyt says that no version of events in minneapolis can be "verified independently." but that's not true! there are multiple videos proving that the ICE version of events is a total lie. maybe the nyt can, y'know, watch one of them? www.nytimes.com/live/2026/01...
January 7, 2026 at 6:53 PM
the nyt says that no version of events in minneapolis can be "verified independently." but that's not true! there are multiple videos proving that the ICE version of events is a total lie. maybe the nyt can, y'know, watch one of them? www.nytimes.com/live/2026/01...
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
December 18, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
"Pete was just bad at the game. Like, every time he scored a hit, he'd guess the exact same square again the next turn. Which was odd because he also cheated constantly, leaning over to my side to peek."
Hasbro Defies Hegseth: Sells Battleship with Rulebook Included | Commander's Herald
Rejecting demands from Pete Hegseth, Hasbro continues to release Battleship board game with a full rulebook included.
commandersherald.com
December 15, 2025 at 5:54 PM
"Pete was just bad at the game. Like, every time he scored a hit, he'd guess the exact same square again the next turn. Which was odd because he also cheated constantly, leaning over to my side to peek."
Reposted by Joe DeNoon
wtf is a FIFA peace prize? that's like being an NFL laureate in physics
December 5, 2025 at 7:21 PM
wtf is a FIFA peace prize? that's like being an NFL laureate in physics