Wilder Newyear
@wildernewyear.bsky.social
He/Him. Everyone's seventh or eighth favorite Waukegan resident. I do something with business software for a living, and like to pretend I'm a voice actor too. Expect Wrestling, Magic: the Gathering, and Chicago Sports. I'm not the Thai BL Drama actor
In an age of turmoil and strife, the people called out for Super Chicken.
But he did not answer.
But he did not answer.
November 13, 2025 at 10:02 PM
In an age of turmoil and strife, the people called out for Super Chicken.
But he did not answer.
But he did not answer.
"Comrades, it is clear we are at an impasse." I shout to the high council of Grunklers. "It is time we refer back to the Sacred Teachings."
"Sacred Teachings, Sacred Teachings" the others chant as I put the "Saturday Night Live - Best of Chris Farley" DVD into the player.
"Sacred Teachings, Sacred Teachings" the others chant as I put the "Saturday Night Live - Best of Chris Farley" DVD into the player.
November 13, 2025 at 6:17 PM
"Comrades, it is clear we are at an impasse." I shout to the high council of Grunklers. "It is time we refer back to the Sacred Teachings."
"Sacred Teachings, Sacred Teachings" the others chant as I put the "Saturday Night Live - Best of Chris Farley" DVD into the player.
"Sacred Teachings, Sacred Teachings" the others chant as I put the "Saturday Night Live - Best of Chris Farley" DVD into the player.
Thank you Epstein list. You're saving the 90's Late Night Talk Show comedy writing industry.
Well, now that I have my previous contacts registered on here, now I can move on to unpacking all my old shitposts. Chronologically.
"You find it funny how all the half-man beasts in Greek Mythos end in '-aur'? Half-horse is a Centaur, Half-bull is a Minotaur, and Half-turkey is a Kenneth Starr!"
"You find it funny how all the half-man beasts in Greek Mythos end in '-aur'? Half-horse is a Centaur, Half-bull is a Minotaur, and Half-turkey is a Kenneth Starr!"
November 13, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Thank you Epstein list. You're saving the 90's Late Night Talk Show comedy writing industry.
It's a shame the release timelines for MTG's Duel Decks and Universes Beyond lines never overlapped, so that we could finally get Duel Decks Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever.
November 13, 2025 at 2:20 AM
It's a shame the release timelines for MTG's Duel Decks and Universes Beyond lines never overlapped, so that we could finally get Duel Decks Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever.
"What do you mean the British are supposed to be the good guys?!"
~ Me, after my James Bond reboot was turned down
~ Me, after my James Bond reboot was turned down
November 12, 2025 at 4:59 PM
"What do you mean the British are supposed to be the good guys?!"
~ Me, after my James Bond reboot was turned down
~ Me, after my James Bond reboot was turned down
Right Brain: No, deals and bonus miles are not what 11/11 was about.
Left Brain: All wars since the 18th century have been about capitalism. This is exactly what 11/11 is about.
Left Brain: All wars since the 18th century have been about capitalism. This is exactly what 11/11 is about.
November 11, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Right Brain: No, deals and bonus miles are not what 11/11 was about.
Left Brain: All wars since the 18th century have been about capitalism. This is exactly what 11/11 is about.
Left Brain: All wars since the 18th century have been about capitalism. This is exactly what 11/11 is about.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled doomscroll with the following announcement:
Cat.
Cat.
November 10, 2025 at 3:10 PM
We interrupt your regularly scheduled doomscroll with the following announcement:
Cat.
Cat.
We could have had this stateside a year ago, but Robin Vos defunded the University of Wisconsin education system.
November 9, 2025 at 4:35 PM
We could have had this stateside a year ago, but Robin Vos defunded the University of Wisconsin education system.
Still a cause I hold near and dear to my heart.
November 8, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Still a cause I hold near and dear to my heart.
Achievement hunters weren't happy when I added the "Send Wilder Newyear, personally, One Million US Dollars" challenge to my game.
November 7, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Achievement hunters weren't happy when I added the "Send Wilder Newyear, personally, One Million US Dollars" challenge to my game.
Reposted by Wilder Newyear
Picturing Giuliani standing outside Barclays, pointing and yelling "You Forgot!" at random people leaving the Nets game (a 15 point blowout).
November 5, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Picturing Giuliani standing outside Barclays, pointing and yelling "You Forgot!" at random people leaving the Nets game (a 15 point blowout).
November 5, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Live look from Staten Island after the Mamdani win.
November 5, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Live look from Staten Island after the Mamdani win.
Why is there a hole in the middle of Manhattan? I want to know how Central Park voted. The ducks deserve representation too.
November 5, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Why is there a hole in the middle of Manhattan? I want to know how Central Park voted. The ducks deserve representation too.
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. I've seen attack sandwiches exploding off the shoulder of Orion. I've smelled onions and mustard near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost to time like tear gas in the rain.
Time to whine."
Time to whine."
November 4, 2025 at 6:29 PM
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. I've seen attack sandwiches exploding off the shoulder of Orion. I've smelled onions and mustard near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost to time like tear gas in the rain.
Time to whine."
Time to whine."
Following the deaths of both Dick Cheney and Victor Conte, I would consider seeking protective custody if I were an early 2000's shitheel right now.
November 4, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Following the deaths of both Dick Cheney and Victor Conte, I would consider seeking protective custody if I were an early 2000's shitheel right now.
Reposted by Wilder Newyear
Alright Magic: The Gathering Community, one more day on this one. I've got hundreds of likes and retweets, but only ~30 entries.
With funding for US Food Assistance programs running out, I'm giving away one Edge of Eternities Booster Box to a random entrant who has donated to a local food pantry. The winner and four runners up will also get a copy of the Magic Cookbook.
See rules in next posts. Closes at midnight on 11/3.
See rules in next posts. Closes at midnight on 11/3.
November 3, 2025 at 11:51 AM
Alright Magic: The Gathering Community, one more day on this one. I've got hundreds of likes and retweets, but only ~30 entries.
I've gotten my neighbors to stop yelling at each other by playing intricate acoustic guitar riffs over them. Which is unfortunate, as I'm still 2 tracks short of my debut Midwestern Emo LP.
November 3, 2025 at 1:46 AM
I've gotten my neighbors to stop yelling at each other by playing intricate acoustic guitar riffs over them. Which is unfortunate, as I'm still 2 tracks short of my debut Midwestern Emo LP.
Thus begins No Nut November (trying to reduce my oxalate intake; it's also No Chocolate, Tea, and Spinach November)
November 1, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Thus begins No Nut November (trying to reduce my oxalate intake; it's also No Chocolate, Tea, and Spinach November)
Behold, a black cat for Halloween.
October 31, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Behold, a black cat for Halloween.
Pokemon Legends ZA had everything! Triads, Kaijus, Toxic Yuri Bait, Anti-Homeless Architecture, Old Men pretending to be Teenage Girls on the Internet, Neo-Nazis, Bart and Lisa Simpson, Operation Paperclip, The Fifth Amendment...
October 31, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Pokemon Legends ZA had everything! Triads, Kaijus, Toxic Yuri Bait, Anti-Homeless Architecture, Old Men pretending to be Teenage Girls on the Internet, Neo-Nazis, Bart and Lisa Simpson, Operation Paperclip, The Fifth Amendment...
A reminder you are under no obligation to listen to anything Mr. Rahm "Black Site Torture Facility" Emanuel ever says.
Mr. Political Instincts over here with the dumbest imaginable attempt at moderation on trans rights. You can't say that you'll protect LGBT policy while affirming bigotry in the next breath.
This doesn't appeal to the right, angers the left and reveals you as a worm to absolutely everyone.
This doesn't appeal to the right, angers the left and reveals you as a worm to absolutely everyone.
October 30, 2025 at 3:46 PM
A reminder you are under no obligation to listen to anything Mr. Rahm "Black Site Torture Facility" Emanuel ever says.