J Marotta
@jmarotta.bsky.social
Very angry nerd. Texas based.
All opinions my own, and I stand by them usually.
All opinions my own, and I stand by them usually.
I am craving garlic. Specifically garlic bread, but any garlic will do.
February 5, 2026 at 4:47 PM
I am craving garlic. Specifically garlic bread, but any garlic will do.
Pop Quiz:
You've got Elon's money. What's the first thing you buy that makes you happy?
I’m going to be totally honest. Before implementing some sort of single payer healthcare trust, or trust for reparations?
A really nice set of kitchen knives that stay sharp for a long time.
You've got Elon's money. What's the first thing you buy that makes you happy?
I’m going to be totally honest. Before implementing some sort of single payer healthcare trust, or trust for reparations?
A really nice set of kitchen knives that stay sharp for a long time.
Pop Quiz:
You've got Elon's money. What's the first thing you buy that makes you happy?
The ASO
You've got Elon's money. What's the first thing you buy that makes you happy?
The ASO
Pop Quiz:
You've got Elon's money. What's the first thing you buy that makes you happy?
The Democratic Party
You've got Elon's money. What's the first thing you buy that makes you happy?
The Democratic Party
February 5, 2026 at 4:38 PM
Pop Quiz:
You've got Elon's money. What's the first thing you buy that makes you happy?
I’m going to be totally honest. Before implementing some sort of single payer healthcare trust, or trust for reparations?
A really nice set of kitchen knives that stay sharp for a long time.
You've got Elon's money. What's the first thing you buy that makes you happy?
I’m going to be totally honest. Before implementing some sort of single payer healthcare trust, or trust for reparations?
A really nice set of kitchen knives that stay sharp for a long time.
Cat is staring at the food dispenser, as if she’s willing the food to come out.
She’s a sweet and lovely girl, but that brain could will a light breeze into being while standing next to an oscillating fan.
She’s a sweet and lovely girl, but that brain could will a light breeze into being while standing next to an oscillating fan.
February 5, 2026 at 1:49 AM
Cat is staring at the food dispenser, as if she’s willing the food to come out.
She’s a sweet and lovely girl, but that brain could will a light breeze into being while standing next to an oscillating fan.
She’s a sweet and lovely girl, but that brain could will a light breeze into being while standing next to an oscillating fan.
I have to say Young Frankenstein is…
February 5, 2026 at 1:01 AM
I have to say Young Frankenstein is…
Wife and I toured a place much like this in Bernal Heights 15 or so years ago.
Hyde Park/North Loop, I love, but you have got to learn how to stage and photograph your ugly houses better
February 5, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Wife and I toured a place much like this in Bernal Heights 15 or so years ago.
I refer to nearly all parking garages as the Pay & Park & Pay.
It’s probably the most dad joke thing I do. But lifted from a simpsons throwaway visual gag.
It’s probably the most dad joke thing I do. But lifted from a simpsons throwaway visual gag.
what's the stupidest/randomest Simpsons quote that lives in your head rent free? Mine is the urge to say "you said go to bread" every time I am about to head to bed.
February 4, 2026 at 9:32 PM
I refer to nearly all parking garages as the Pay & Park & Pay.
It’s probably the most dad joke thing I do. But lifted from a simpsons throwaway visual gag.
It’s probably the most dad joke thing I do. But lifted from a simpsons throwaway visual gag.
This is the kind of lore dump that I always wanted from the McDonald land playscapes as a kid.
Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs (1976-1981): Sweetened puffed corn & oat cereal shaped like smiling faces. The gimmick was that this cereal was made by the Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs cereal company, using a grumpy robot named Cecil. But oh boy is there more to it. You like cereal lore? A 🧵
February 3, 2026 at 1:33 PM
This is the kind of lore dump that I always wanted from the McDonald land playscapes as a kid.
But how wine-dark are the seas in this adaptation?
February 3, 2026 at 12:39 PM
But how wine-dark are the seas in this adaptation?
Without Zardoz, there is no Hell Comes to Frogtown.
February 3, 2026 at 3:19 AM
Without Zardoz, there is no Hell Comes to Frogtown.
No new pictures. Where are you at mentally?
February 3, 2026 at 2:50 AM
No new pictures. Where are you at mentally?
Man, it really doesn’t take a lot of beets to make you think you’re internally bleeding the next day.
February 2, 2026 at 2:23 PM
Man, it really doesn’t take a lot of beets to make you think you’re internally bleeding the next day.
Anyway I’ve read enough to understand that weigh != health, but I did gain enough in the last year or two that it actually was a concern.
More to the point, my blood pressure and cholesterol were at “you should really do something about this” levels at my last checkup.
More to the point, my blood pressure and cholesterol were at “you should really do something about this” levels at my last checkup.
Anyway the thing that led to this (side effects of trying to follow the Mediterranean diet), at least has me down about 10 pounds. Also per urgent care my blood pressure looks decent.
February 1, 2026 at 4:32 PM
Anyway I’ve read enough to understand that weigh != health, but I did gain enough in the last year or two that it actually was a concern.
More to the point, my blood pressure and cholesterol were at “you should really do something about this” levels at my last checkup.
More to the point, my blood pressure and cholesterol were at “you should really do something about this” levels at my last checkup.
Learning to do things without getting a thumb wet is hard.
Learning to do things with your left hand when you have been so right handed your entire life is also hard.
Learning to do things with your left hand when you have been so right handed your entire life is also hard.
February 1, 2026 at 4:16 PM
Learning to do things without getting a thumb wet is hard.
Learning to do things with your left hand when you have been so right handed your entire life is also hard.
Learning to do things with your left hand when you have been so right handed your entire life is also hard.
Guess who still has most of his thumbs AND was able to teach his children a valuable lesson in respecting his brand new kitchen mandolin?
January 31, 2026 at 9:29 PM
Guess who still has most of his thumbs AND was able to teach his children a valuable lesson in respecting his brand new kitchen mandolin?
Kids both walked out of school to protest ICE yesterday. 11 year old did it explicitly for the protest. 14 year old did it because “yeah protest but I got out of 3rd & 4th period”.
Don’t care. I’m still proud.
Don’t care. I’m still proud.
January 31, 2026 at 4:26 PM
Kids both walked out of school to protest ICE yesterday. 11 year old did it explicitly for the protest. 14 year old did it because “yeah protest but I got out of 3rd & 4th period”.
Don’t care. I’m still proud.
Don’t care. I’m still proud.
Macarons. Sorry, they’re bland AF and the sugary wafers that come in a bag are a much better version of that.
Guys, I really need to talk about something dumb and meaningless. What's a universally beloved sweet treat that you think is just mid? For me, it's meringue.
January 31, 2026 at 4:01 PM
Macarons. Sorry, they’re bland AF and the sugary wafers that come in a bag are a much better version of that.
Wife is out of town, and I still have a mental block about drinking from her favorite coffee mugs.
“She may swoop in at any moment and want to use one of these 3 mugs!”
“She may swoop in at any moment and want to use one of these 3 mugs!”
January 31, 2026 at 3:59 PM
Wife is out of town, and I still have a mental block about drinking from her favorite coffee mugs.
“She may swoop in at any moment and want to use one of these 3 mugs!”
“She may swoop in at any moment and want to use one of these 3 mugs!”
Chris Rufo buys Prego.
Chris Rufo is so upset about the Minneapolis protests that he is resorting to anti-Nordic racism christopherrufo.com/p/the-curse-...
January 30, 2026 at 6:09 PM
Chris Rufo buys Prego.
Might I recommend learning to smoke meat and vegetables and TTRPGs (and learning to write a *really good* campaign) as hobbies?
every time i see a white guy in their fifties radicalized by the twitter algorithm into racism and extremism i think about how it's a total failure of the youtube algorithm to instead radicalize him into home brewing, elaborate A/V setups, or DIY solar
January 28, 2026 at 10:44 PM
Might I recommend learning to smoke meat and vegetables and TTRPGs (and learning to write a *really good* campaign) as hobbies?
When I leave the house, I’m ga supervillain who’s all “mwahaha I’m going to heat up the sardine and garlic pasta leftovers for lunch!”
And then I have to deal with the smell from my Tupperware back at my desk.
And then I have to deal with the smell from my Tupperware back at my desk.
January 28, 2026 at 7:36 PM
When I leave the house, I’m ga supervillain who’s all “mwahaha I’m going to heat up the sardine and garlic pasta leftovers for lunch!”
And then I have to deal with the smell from my Tupperware back at my desk.
And then I have to deal with the smell from my Tupperware back at my desk.
American Psycho.
Oh, yuppies are evil and materialistic? Class solidarity only exists for the wealthy? What a revelation!
Oh, yuppies are evil and materialistic? Class solidarity only exists for the wealthy? What a revelation!
Apropos that op-ed about Harry Potter, what's some pop culture with The Right Politics that you still can't stand? For me it's BARBIE and EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE.
January 27, 2026 at 2:09 AM
American Psycho.
Oh, yuppies are evil and materialistic? Class solidarity only exists for the wealthy? What a revelation!
Oh, yuppies are evil and materialistic? Class solidarity only exists for the wealthy? What a revelation!
As someone whose last name ALSO ends in a vowel, I hope Greg Bovino’s grocery stores are forever out of fresh parmigiana and he can only buy the sawdust in the green can.
I hope any Saint Joseph’s Day celebration completely reroutes around his hometown forever.
I hope he gets threatened by…
I hope any Saint Joseph’s Day celebration completely reroutes around his hometown forever.
I hope he gets threatened by…
January 27, 2026 at 12:10 AM
As someone whose last name ALSO ends in a vowel, I hope Greg Bovino’s grocery stores are forever out of fresh parmigiana and he can only buy the sawdust in the green can.
I hope any Saint Joseph’s Day celebration completely reroutes around his hometown forever.
I hope he gets threatened by…
I hope any Saint Joseph’s Day celebration completely reroutes around his hometown forever.
I hope he gets threatened by…
While we’re iced in at home, 14 yo asked for “lots of hard boiled eggs”, and, failing that (out of eggs), the spaghetti with sardines that I made last night.
My kids apparently eat like retirees from the 50s.
My kids apparently eat like retirees from the 50s.
January 26, 2026 at 11:58 PM
While we’re iced in at home, 14 yo asked for “lots of hard boiled eggs”, and, failing that (out of eggs), the spaghetti with sardines that I made last night.
My kids apparently eat like retirees from the 50s.
My kids apparently eat like retirees from the 50s.
Work password training:
“Length means strength”
Me: “That’s what she-“
A set of rotting hands reaches from the computer screen. Their blackened fingernails start to slowly peel the skin from my face while I sit, transfixed. Unable to do anything but weep helplessly
“Length means strength”
Me: “That’s what she-“
A set of rotting hands reaches from the computer screen. Their blackened fingernails start to slowly peel the skin from my face while I sit, transfixed. Unable to do anything but weep helplessly
January 26, 2026 at 10:55 PM
Work password training:
“Length means strength”
Me: “That’s what she-“
A set of rotting hands reaches from the computer screen. Their blackened fingernails start to slowly peel the skin from my face while I sit, transfixed. Unable to do anything but weep helplessly
“Length means strength”
Me: “That’s what she-“
A set of rotting hands reaches from the computer screen. Their blackened fingernails start to slowly peel the skin from my face while I sit, transfixed. Unable to do anything but weep helplessly
Ooooh THAT’s why people are talking about Harry Potter again. The headline makes it sound very silly and incorrect.
January 26, 2026 at 10:53 PM
Ooooh THAT’s why people are talking about Harry Potter again. The headline makes it sound very silly and incorrect.