Jesse Maximum
@jmaq.bsky.social
Musician, writer, zinemeister, essayist…I just keep making stuff, whether I want to or not.
he/them 🩷🤍💜🖤💙
https://linktr.ee/sharkuppercut
he/them 🩷🤍💜🖤💙
https://linktr.ee/sharkuppercut
Pinned
Jesse Maximum
@jmaq.bsky.social
· Aug 11
I’m making another bad decision, and I need your help!
I decided a fast-paced machine gun of tiny films could be endlessly entertaining, and rather than do it all myself I’m looking to collect clips from anyone willing to make one.
Join me in making the SHARK UPPERCUT Micromovie Film Festival!
I decided a fast-paced machine gun of tiny films could be endlessly entertaining, and rather than do it all myself I’m looking to collect clips from anyone willing to make one.
Join me in making the SHARK UPPERCUT Micromovie Film Festival!
Wrestling is beautiful.
Double Springboard Moonsault to the Balls from Gene Munny!! #MysteryWrestling21 @mysterywrestling.bsky.social tling.bsky.social
www.twitch.tv/EvilUno / www.youtube.com/live/bwXvV5o...
www.twitch.tv/EvilUno / www.youtube.com/live/bwXvV5o...
January 18, 2026 at 7:10 PM
Wrestling is beautiful.
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
We've got a new newsletter up - and a new Cheapass Game title available!
Meat on Swords decks are currently for sale at DriveThruCards, while we await our next shipment - our first batch sold out in one day. 😁 We do have coaster sets available!
crabfragmentlabs.com/campaigns/vi...
Meat on Swords decks are currently for sale at DriveThruCards, while we await our next shipment - our first batch sold out in one day. 😁 We do have coaster sets available!
crabfragmentlabs.com/campaigns/vi...
Meat on Swords is here!
Meat on Swords has been a challenge to create. We tried several times to create a Lord of the Fries-style menu for Carnespadas, only to abandon that in favor of a press-your-luck game mechanic, more befitting a restaurant without a menu.
crabfragmentlabs.com
January 18, 2026 at 2:18 AM
We've got a new newsletter up - and a new Cheapass Game title available!
Meat on Swords decks are currently for sale at DriveThruCards, while we await our next shipment - our first batch sold out in one day. 😁 We do have coaster sets available!
crabfragmentlabs.com/campaigns/vi...
Meat on Swords decks are currently for sale at DriveThruCards, while we await our next shipment - our first batch sold out in one day. 😁 We do have coaster sets available!
crabfragmentlabs.com/campaigns/vi...
Phoebe is the opposite of Beefy.
That’s not how opposite works, but I’m still right.
That’s not how opposite works, but I’m still right.
January 17, 2026 at 10:57 PM
Phoebe is the opposite of Beefy.
That’s not how opposite works, but I’m still right.
That’s not how opposite works, but I’m still right.
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
today
mostly final setlist with mostly everyone + links to the event for when it happens on the 17th. thank you for your patience everyone. it will mostly likely start at 7pm est unless I get A Lot More. I will post a setlist before the day of but god knows I never get it done that quick
January 17, 2026 at 10:50 AM
today
🚨🚨NEIGHBORHOOD ALERT🚨🚨
Hey guys, I saw a cool fox. Pretty cool, right?
Hey guys, I saw a cool fox. Pretty cool, right?
January 16, 2026 at 7:17 PM
🚨🚨NEIGHBORHOOD ALERT🚨🚨
Hey guys, I saw a cool fox. Pretty cool, right?
Hey guys, I saw a cool fox. Pretty cool, right?
🎶I really can’t staaay…
🎄
🎶But—
🎄
🎶But—
January 16, 2026 at 12:16 PM
🎶I really can’t staaay…
🎄
🎶But—
🎄
🎶But—
WOKE GAMMON ARMY RISE UP
THE BALD BEET RED MEN ARE JOINING THE BATTLE ON THE SIDE OF HUMANITY
TRULY THE REGIME IS LOSING THE MANDATE OF HEAVEN
TRULY THE REGIME IS LOSING THE MANDATE OF HEAVEN
This dude is intense and correct
January 15, 2026 at 1:52 PM
WOKE GAMMON ARMY RISE UP
Just started getting dizzy and feeling gross, and I don’t know if it’s from sleeping weird all week, reading about Minnesota, or if the song I’ve been working on is psychic poison.
January 15, 2026 at 6:38 AM
Just started getting dizzy and feeling gross, and I don’t know if it’s from sleeping weird all week, reading about Minnesota, or if the song I’ve been working on is psychic poison.
There’s gotta be some kid out there who’s the right mix of dumb and talented start doing an Angel’s Wings version of this facebuster.
Carl Malenko with a double-arm facebuster over the knee rolled into a reverse full nelson
January 14, 2026 at 10:00 PM
There’s gotta be some kid out there who’s the right mix of dumb and talented start doing an Angel’s Wings version of this facebuster.
Ayana streams are always a cool hang if you want to dip your dick into some crazy random music.
SCHEDULE FOR MY URLFEST HAPPENING ON THE 17TH!!!! IT WILL BE ON twitch.tv/supercoolgam... AND discord.com/invite/vTdjp... PLEASE COME!!!!!
January 14, 2026 at 4:49 AM
Ayana streams are always a cool hang if you want to dip your dick into some crazy random music.
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
I don’t know the date on this one because Instagram took it down.
January 13, 2026 at 7:33 PM
I don’t know the date on this one because Instagram took it down.
Trans people: "Fix your hearts or die!"
Scott Adams: ok *dies*
Scott Adams: ok *dies*
January 13, 2026 at 4:10 PM
Normalize telling the people you love that they’re fart dudes.
January 13, 2026 at 1:23 PM
Normalize telling the people you love that they’re fart dudes.
Stink of Louis CK aside, Pootie Tang has always been waiting to be an anime.
Give me a slice of life show with occasional fantastical elements. Or shoot him into space to beat up aliens. Either approach is perfect.
Give me a slice of life show with occasional fantastical elements. Or shoot him into space to beat up aliens. Either approach is perfect.
we often talk about “what anime would you adapt into a movie” but here is a reverse: what movies would you adapt into an anime?
January 13, 2026 at 4:56 AM
Stink of Louis CK aside, Pootie Tang has always been waiting to be an anime.
Give me a slice of life show with occasional fantastical elements. Or shoot him into space to beat up aliens. Either approach is perfect.
Give me a slice of life show with occasional fantastical elements. Or shoot him into space to beat up aliens. Either approach is perfect.
(Me halfway through this makeup sesh in this week’s Dropout preview)
Oh, that’s Eddie Kingston.
Oh, that’s Eddie Kingston.
January 13, 2026 at 2:57 AM
(Me halfway through this makeup sesh in this week’s Dropout preview)
Oh, that’s Eddie Kingston.
Oh, that’s Eddie Kingston.
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
Greg Bovino was killed in the line of duty in Minneapolis today. A falling snowflake severed off his penis, and the resultant blood loss (nearly a teaspoon) proved fatal. No services; the body fell down a storm drain
January 13, 2026 at 2:09 AM
Greg Bovino was killed in the line of duty in Minneapolis today. A falling snowflake severed off his penis, and the resultant blood loss (nearly a teaspoon) proved fatal. No services; the body fell down a storm drain
I thought Carnage was so cool as a teenager. Part of it was the killer visual design, but it’s amazing how cool detached psychopathy is what you’re 13. In retrospect, Carnage is The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight from the Tick is a fancy leotard.
Which…sounds pretty cool, actually.
Which…sounds pretty cool, actually.
January 13, 2026 at 2:45 AM
I thought Carnage was so cool as a teenager. Part of it was the killer visual design, but it’s amazing how cool detached psychopathy is what you’re 13. In retrospect, Carnage is The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight from the Tick is a fancy leotard.
Which…sounds pretty cool, actually.
Which…sounds pretty cool, actually.
A moment from a flu shot fever dream I had today, without context: Alec Baldwin sticking his nose in my ear and growling while I explained why a Droopy Dog movie would need Lord of the Rings three movie extended cut treatment to do it justice.
January 12, 2026 at 11:55 PM
A moment from a flu shot fever dream I had today, without context: Alec Baldwin sticking his nose in my ear and growling while I explained why a Droopy Dog movie would need Lord of the Rings three movie extended cut treatment to do it justice.
When you’re the mayor, they just box up the whole kitchen for you, trees and all.
January 12, 2026 at 11:45 PM
When you’re the mayor, they just box up the whole kitchen for you, trees and all.
I swear I just watched this same scene in Heated Rivalry.
I saw this video this morning, and I thought, yes, Bluesky needs this. 😉 #GoldenLovers #ddtpro 🤼♂️
January 12, 2026 at 11:28 PM
I swear I just watched this same scene in Heated Rivalry.
DO IT FOR HIM
January 11, 2026 at 8:03 PM
DO IT FOR HIM
@patrickklepek.bsky.social expressing the full human experience tonight.
January 11, 2026 at 5:35 AM
@patrickklepek.bsky.social expressing the full human experience tonight.
Thinking about him (Ham Yokozuna).
January 11, 2026 at 4:49 AM
Thinking about him (Ham Yokozuna).
This is either a sports tweet, or Patrick is in his 40s and coughed wrong.
Folks, I’m going to shit my pants.
January 11, 2026 at 1:51 AM
This is either a sports tweet, or Patrick is in his 40s and coughed wrong.
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
Little oil pastel and pencil Hangman Page on sugar cane paper 🤼
January 10, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Little oil pastel and pencil Hangman Page on sugar cane paper 🤼