this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

I understand the peace plan sounded better 8n the original Russian.

HEY CORPORATE MEDIA,

Say it with me. Your headline is REPUBLICAN CONGRESS FAILS TO FUND GOVERNMENT: SHUTDOWN IMMINENT

Let me know if you need any help with this

I fully support Hakeem Jeffries, but every time I see him, I feel like I'm supposed to steal third.

So I guess the brain worm died because it starved to death?

Really enjoying this classic Sesame Street segment, two minutes of freestyle jazz riffing on saxophone factory footage