Jessica
@jizzwitch.bsky.social
America's favorite bimbo necromancer
Let's decode what happened here — first, you saw the best minds of not just any generation, but 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 generation.
Were they sane, clothed and well fed?
No. They were destroyed, not just by madness — but starving hysterical. The real kicker? They were naked
Were they sane, clothed and well fed?
No. They were destroyed, not just by madness — but starving hysterical. The real kicker? They were naked
January 29, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Let's decode what happened here — first, you saw the best minds of not just any generation, but 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 generation.
Were they sane, clothed and well fed?
No. They were destroyed, not just by madness — but starving hysterical. The real kicker? They were naked
Were they sane, clothed and well fed?
No. They were destroyed, not just by madness — but starving hysterical. The real kicker? They were naked
can anyone explain why the British have coined so much egregious sexual slang?
worst offender: "rumpy pumpy"
worst offender: "rumpy pumpy"
January 29, 2026 at 7:25 PM
can anyone explain why the British have coined so much egregious sexual slang?
worst offender: "rumpy pumpy"
worst offender: "rumpy pumpy"
a student came to my 530 hot vinyasa class this morning wearing cutoff skinny jorts
January 29, 2026 at 4:14 PM
a student came to my 530 hot vinyasa class this morning wearing cutoff skinny jorts
therapy: lame, takes forever, expensive
going beast mode: cool as hell, instant results, free
going beast mode: cool as hell, instant results, free
January 29, 2026 at 3:19 PM
therapy: lame, takes forever, expensive
going beast mode: cool as hell, instant results, free
going beast mode: cool as hell, instant results, free
Reposted by Jessica
ladies, I don’t need to hear your lamentations at all. crushing my enemies and seeing them driven before me is enough #ally #notallmen
January 28, 2026 at 4:22 PM
ladies, I don’t need to hear your lamentations at all. crushing my enemies and seeing them driven before me is enough #ally #notallmen
got the results of my MRI back and it turns out I've been exercising on a torn meniscus for 4 months
anyway I'm gonna go meditate in Nepal for a week about it and hopefully receive shaktipat and siddhis from a guru so I can heal it with the power of my own prana
anyway I'm gonna go meditate in Nepal for a week about it and hopefully receive shaktipat and siddhis from a guru so I can heal it with the power of my own prana
January 28, 2026 at 3:55 AM
got the results of my MRI back and it turns out I've been exercising on a torn meniscus for 4 months
anyway I'm gonna go meditate in Nepal for a week about it and hopefully receive shaktipat and siddhis from a guru so I can heal it with the power of my own prana
anyway I'm gonna go meditate in Nepal for a week about it and hopefully receive shaktipat and siddhis from a guru so I can heal it with the power of my own prana
your gym playlist is a sorcerous incantation. choose it wisely
January 27, 2026 at 4:33 PM
your gym playlist is a sorcerous incantation. choose it wisely
using this dungeon crawl classics illustration as a to do list. I figure I'm at about step three rn and look forward to my continued monstrous transfiguration as I unveil further occult mysteries
January 26, 2026 at 11:37 PM
using this dungeon crawl classics illustration as a to do list. I figure I'm at about step three rn and look forward to my continued monstrous transfiguration as I unveil further occult mysteries
*driving 5 minutes extra to the farther away WinCo because they have a better bulk section*
my supply lines are too extended rn idk if I can survive the winter seiges
my supply lines are too extended rn idk if I can survive the winter seiges
January 26, 2026 at 7:48 PM
*driving 5 minutes extra to the farther away WinCo because they have a better bulk section*
my supply lines are too extended rn idk if I can survive the winter seiges
my supply lines are too extended rn idk if I can survive the winter seiges
you hear people say "for the time being" all the time but no one ever asks who the time being is
it's me, I'm the Time Being. thanks for all that stuff you've been doing for me
it's me, I'm the Time Being. thanks for all that stuff you've been doing for me
January 25, 2026 at 3:23 AM
you hear people say "for the time being" all the time but no one ever asks who the time being is
it's me, I'm the Time Being. thanks for all that stuff you've been doing for me
it's me, I'm the Time Being. thanks for all that stuff you've been doing for me
the primordial urge to "try a French bob" after dedicating three years growing your hair to your waist
January 22, 2026 at 10:56 PM
the primordial urge to "try a French bob" after dedicating three years growing your hair to your waist
Reposted by Jessica
Getting into agreements online
January 20, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Getting into agreements online
I have finally succumbed to The Illness and require treats and other kindnesses
January 20, 2026 at 7:29 PM
I have finally succumbed to The Illness and require treats and other kindnesses
I'm perfect AND I'm an island. but I'm a woman, so
January 19, 2026 at 9:00 PM
I'm perfect AND I'm an island. but I'm a woman, so
got hired to teach yoga at a gym and I get a free membership which can only mean one thing: lifting weights until my ass cheeks resemble 2 bowling balls
January 18, 2026 at 3:26 PM
got hired to teach yoga at a gym and I get a free membership which can only mean one thing: lifting weights until my ass cheeks resemble 2 bowling balls
today marks 1 year since my spiritual dada David Lynch died. rest in peace. post your fav Lynch moments ITT
January 16, 2026 at 9:08 PM
today marks 1 year since my spiritual dada David Lynch died. rest in peace. post your fav Lynch moments ITT
freezing some little paper guys in an ice cube tray and then achieving a heightened state of piss gnosis all over them 🙏
January 16, 2026 at 6:16 PM
freezing some little paper guys in an ice cube tray and then achieving a heightened state of piss gnosis all over them 🙏
one thing they don't tell you about practicing occult yoga techniques to attain siddhis is that it's gonna give you some big headaches
I'm being told they actually do tell you
I'm being told they actually do tell you
January 16, 2026 at 6:14 PM
one thing they don't tell you about practicing occult yoga techniques to attain siddhis is that it's gonna give you some big headaches
I'm being told they actually do tell you
I'm being told they actually do tell you
is there anything as satisfying as praying on someone's downfall and then watching them fall down?
January 12, 2026 at 3:00 PM
is there anything as satisfying as praying on someone's downfall and then watching them fall down?
stop asking chat gpt and start asking an oracle or a prophetess of some kind
January 11, 2026 at 3:39 AM
stop asking chat gpt and start asking an oracle or a prophetess of some kind
hey guys how's it going
January 10, 2026 at 3:26 PM
hey guys how's it going
it's a beautiful day to get your dick and balls stomped
June 23, 2025 at 6:45 PM
it's a beautiful day to get your dick and balls stomped
getting workplace accommodations for being a dumb bitch
June 23, 2025 at 4:48 PM
getting workplace accommodations for being a dumb bitch
"are you a top or a bottom?"
neither, I just get the job done
neither, I just get the job done
June 23, 2025 at 3:44 AM
"are you a top or a bottom?"
neither, I just get the job done
neither, I just get the job done
relationship anarchy? no, I said relationship monarchy
June 22, 2025 at 3:35 PM
relationship anarchy? no, I said relationship monarchy