I saw a very agitated and angry guy just now standing on the sidewalk shooting passing cars with his fingers and saying ‘pa-pow!’ ‘Pa-pow!’ and I guess that’s what you call a Canadian drive-by shooting. No casualties, just finger guns

I should probably not hold my breath for that last one

Joked to my teenager I could save money by making homemade Vitamin water for her by dissolving old vitamin pills and adding food colouring… and enjoyed watched her wonder if I was serious.

I will curse your enemies to turn into a toad but I need you to buy me a whisky first

Jump scared myself by walking into my Grandmother-in-law’s bathroom and thinking there was some sort of four legged animal in the shower

Blessing the Bluesky with some cat content #devonrex #devonrexcats #cats #catyawn #funnycatphoto

Imagine if my cat treated me like I treated him…. Like if I joined the dinner table excited for a meal he just picked me up and flung me aside

After ice baths and intermittent fasting have run their course I’m thinking self flagellation and waterboarding must surely be next

Classic copywriter move: pick up your phone to time your 30 second script and suddenly you’re watching a moose video, searching for a podcast about sceances, and checking the weather in Tokyo

I may have found no treasure at the Value Village just now but… this mysterious sticker was a treasure for my brain

#thrifting #valuevillage #barryharris

I just got “too sooned” on a Napoleon ad I presented today (actual photo of me and my script being interrupted mid dramatic reading)

I created this account back in the 1800s (or at least it feels like it) and suddenly it's become a thing so I'm feeling chuffed about my handle. Sorry to all the other Jane Murrays out there