“Kirk was practicing politics in exactly the right way.” — Ezra Klein

“Joe Biden is a bumbling dementia filled Alzheimer's corrupt tyrant who should honestly be put in prison and/or given the death penalty for his crimes against America.” — Charlie Kirk

BREAKING NEWS: Elon Musk announces a revolutionary new coal-powered vehicle, the Tesla Model DJT. Available in two big, beautiful colors — Orange and Even Oranger — the DJT is expected to get up to 3 MPL (miles per lump).

But then, in America’s darkest hour, there arose a new champion, bringing hope to the suffering American people — Eggman! A superhero with the power to control the price of eggs! Also to fly, but only a few feet off the ground and for short distances, so not much practical use really. But the eggs!

In yet another first for the First Felon President, Trump has traveled to a disaster area to pledge that the federal government will not help them recover.