Brandon Diehl
@iambrandondiehl.bsky.social
Poet with autism and a really big cat. Here to connect with fellow bookish people and/or fellow neurodivergent people and/or fellow anti-fascists.
he/him • NJ • www.brandondiehl.net
he/him • NJ • www.brandondiehl.net
Pinned
If you want to support my writing, the best way for now is probably just to follow me on Instagram. I'll follow you back! My thing is @iambrandondiehl. 😌
Idea: a Scooby-Doo spinoff series where I recruit the gang to help me solve the endless mystery of whether or not people are mad at me.
December 4, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Idea: a Scooby-Doo spinoff series where I recruit the gang to help me solve the endless mystery of whether or not people are mad at me.
So much standup comedy is just some painfully unfunny guy being like, "What's up with all these pronouns? I hate my wife."
December 4, 2025 at 12:47 AM
So much standup comedy is just some painfully unfunny guy being like, "What's up with all these pronouns? I hate my wife."
Blurry capture of the man who just ate my mashed potatoes. If you have any information about the suspect, please let me know.
December 4, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Blurry capture of the man who just ate my mashed potatoes. If you have any information about the suspect, please let me know.
If you say anything in support of trans people, conservatives immediately assume you're trans because they don't understand the concept of caring about people other than yourself.
December 2, 2025 at 7:55 PM
If you say anything in support of trans people, conservatives immediately assume you're trans because they don't understand the concept of caring about people other than yourself.
Just spent 20 minutes staring in confusion at my coworker after she casually mentioned having "a few new elves living in the house this year." Then I realized she meant those Elf on the Shelf things and not actual elves.
December 2, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Just spent 20 minutes staring in confusion at my coworker after she casually mentioned having "a few new elves living in the house this year." Then I realized she meant those Elf on the Shelf things and not actual elves.
Neurotypicals will be like "This person has bad vibes 😱" and it's just a harmless autistic person with common autistic traits.
December 2, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Neurotypicals will be like "This person has bad vibes 😱" and it's just a harmless autistic person with common autistic traits.
Re-dialing this customer service number in hopes of being put on hold again so I can hear that really sick saxophone solo.
December 1, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Re-dialing this customer service number in hopes of being put on hold again so I can hear that really sick saxophone solo.
Fuck yeah I'm good in bed, assuming you mean passing out by myself in a sea of half-read novels and having an 18-hour depression nap.
December 1, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Fuck yeah I'm good in bed, assuming you mean passing out by myself in a sea of half-read novels and having an 18-hour depression nap.
Guys who drive Cybertrucks don't wash their balls.
November 30, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Guys who drive Cybertrucks don't wash their balls.
One of my special interests is horror movies, which means I spend way too much time thinking about the scene in Halloween: Resurrection where Busta Rhymes, a main character for some reason, screams "HIII-YA" in a cartoonishly high-pitched voice before kung-fu kicking Michael Myers out of a window.
November 29, 2025 at 7:13 PM
One of my special interests is horror movies, which means I spend way too much time thinking about the scene in Halloween: Resurrection where Busta Rhymes, a main character for some reason, screams "HIII-YA" in a cartoonishly high-pitched voice before kung-fu kicking Michael Myers out of a window.
Vecna from Stranger Things looks like an "edgy joke" guy who everyone hates at open mic nights.
November 28, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Vecna from Stranger Things looks like an "edgy joke" guy who everyone hates at open mic nights.
Hi, friends. I have a new prose poem in Dream Boy Book Club today. It's about autism. Or is it actually about smoking weed? Nobody knows! Happy Thanksgiving. ❤️📺
Brandon Diehl — d r e a m b o y b o o k c l u b
www.dreamboybook.club
November 27, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Hi, friends. I have a new prose poem in Dream Boy Book Club today. It's about autism. Or is it actually about smoking weed? Nobody knows! Happy Thanksgiving. ❤️📺
Humbled and excited to announce that I'm being added to Super Smash Bros. as a playable character. My final smash is called "avoiding eye contact."
November 26, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Humbled and excited to announce that I'm being added to Super Smash Bros. as a playable character. My final smash is called "avoiding eye contact."
When I accidentally step on my cat's tail, I feel like I need everyone in the world to text me and reassure me that I'm not the worst person to ever live.
November 25, 2025 at 7:42 PM
When I accidentally step on my cat's tail, I feel like I need everyone in the world to text me and reassure me that I'm not the worst person to ever live.
Coworker just went on a 20-minute rant about how mermaids are real and how you can find evidence of this on TikTok.
November 25, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Coworker just went on a 20-minute rant about how mermaids are real and how you can find evidence of this on TikTok.
On a video call with a coworker who has a poster behind him of what appears to be a scuba diver riding a narwhal. My social anxiety is preventing me from asking some urgent questions.
November 24, 2025 at 5:59 PM
On a video call with a coworker who has a poster behind him of what appears to be a scuba diver riding a narwhal. My social anxiety is preventing me from asking some urgent questions.
Names I've called my cat over the past week: Mr. Man, Floofy, Slappy, Pumpkinhead, Frank, Roger, Big Pimpin', Bob Barker from The Price Is Right, Whiskerboy.
November 17, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Names I've called my cat over the past week: Mr. Man, Floofy, Slappy, Pumpkinhead, Frank, Roger, Big Pimpin', Bob Barker from The Price Is Right, Whiskerboy.
My favorite type of ASMR is when conservatives shut the fuck up.
November 14, 2025 at 1:27 PM
My favorite type of ASMR is when conservatives shut the fuck up.
My crazy radical take is that pedophiles shouldn't be presidents.
November 14, 2025 at 1:03 AM
My crazy radical take is that pedophiles shouldn't be presidents.
Accidentally said "nice" at my job when my boss told me there were 69 emails in the inbox.
November 10, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Accidentally said "nice" at my job when my boss told me there were 69 emails in the inbox.
This is the only social media app I can open and not immediately see someone spewing fascist talking points. If this is what an "echo chamber" is, I like echo chambers.
October 22, 2025 at 1:12 PM
This is the only social media app I can open and not immediately see someone spewing fascist talking points. If this is what an "echo chamber" is, I like echo chambers.
Started saying "Well, that's one way to tame a sasquatch" in various situations at work and it's been a pretty big hit.
October 21, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Started saying "Well, that's one way to tame a sasquatch" in various situations at work and it's been a pretty big hit.
Hey, sorry I took 5 months to reply to your Instagram DM. I was watching reels of cockatoos.
October 21, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Hey, sorry I took 5 months to reply to your Instagram DM. I was watching reels of cockatoos.
If you killed me in PVP mode, I'd drop an orange slush vape and 3-6 terrible love poems.
October 20, 2025 at 1:10 AM
If you killed me in PVP mode, I'd drop an orange slush vape and 3-6 terrible love poems.
Coworker called out of work because she stubbed her toe, which I think is completely understandable.
October 13, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Coworker called out of work because she stubbed her toe, which I think is completely understandable.