Follow both!
My girlfriend looks like Peggy Mount
What am I supposed to do?
I’m up the creek and never mind the paddle boy
I haven’t even got a canoe
I sold my soul to an Arctic Roll
I went to hell on a red Ski-doo
I did the Shake’n’Vac and broke my fucking […]
My girlfriend looks like Peggy Mount
What am I supposed to do?
I’m up the creek and never mind the paddle boy
I haven’t even got a canoe
I sold my soul to an Arctic Roll
I went to hell on a red Ski-doo
I did the Shake’n’Vac and broke my fucking […]
Yeah, Swerving the Checkatrade
Swerving the Checkatrade
So we may get to bill and coo
I’ve weighed up all the pros and cons
Of watching under-21s
Swerving the Checkatrade with you
Oh let me gaze upon your curves
Instead of Ipswich Town reserves
Swerving the Checkatrade […]
Yeah, Swerving the Checkatrade
Swerving the Checkatrade
So we may get to bill and coo
I’ve weighed up all the pros and cons
Of watching under-21s
Swerving the Checkatrade with you
Oh let me gaze upon your curves
Instead of Ipswich Town reserves
Swerving the Checkatrade […]
I fancy I’ll open a stationer’s
Stock quaint notepads for weekend pagans
While you were out at The Rollright Stones
I came and set fire to your shed
‘Cos you probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an […]
I fancy I’ll open a stationer’s
Stock quaint notepads for weekend pagans
While you were out at The Rollright Stones
I came and set fire to your shed
‘Cos you probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an […]
Well I’m not really worried about this
But could someone please answer me this:
Apart from on commentary
Where else on earth
Can you hear the word ‘aplomb’ being used?
I’m filling up at Rothersthorpe North
Good Girl has broken my heart
She took off with a youth
From […]
Well I’m not really worried about this
But could someone please answer me this:
Apart from on commentary
Where else on earth
Can you hear the word ‘aplomb’ being used?
I’m filling up at Rothersthorpe North
Good Girl has broken my heart
She took off with a youth
From […]
Talking to a girl on the south coast of France
She was on an 18-30 but I still took a chance
But on the last night ‘neath the stars of Marseilles
She said that Robin Askwith was funny
Oh god how I longed for a dangerous wave
So I could surf myself towards an early grave […]
Talking to a girl on the south coast of France
She was on an 18-30 but I still took a chance
But on the last night ‘neath the stars of Marseilles
She said that Robin Askwith was funny
Oh god how I longed for a dangerous wave
So I could surf myself towards an early grave […]
If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation
Don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations
There’s no “s”, it’s the Book of Revelation
As revealed to St John the Divine
See also Mary Hopkin
She must despair
You’ve got a shit arm….
#HMHB #HalfManHalfBiscuit
If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation
Don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations
There’s no “s”, it’s the Book of Revelation
As revealed to St John the Divine
See also Mary Hopkin
She must despair
You’ve got a shit arm….
#HMHB #HalfManHalfBiscuit
K is for the kissing of the badge
How ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they’re at another club
#HMHB #HalfManHalfBiscuit
K is for the kissing of the badge
How ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they’re at another club
#HMHB #HalfManHalfBiscuit
In the kingdom of the blind
It’s said the one-eyed man is king
And in the kingdom of the bland
It’s nine o’clock on ITV
I believe I’ve seen holograms
With more substance than you
Automatic doors don’t open for you
C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends)
C-O-R-G-I (CORGI […]
In the kingdom of the blind
It’s said the one-eyed man is king
And in the kingdom of the bland
It’s nine o’clock on ITV
I believe I’ve seen holograms
With more substance than you
Automatic doors don’t open for you
C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends)
C-O-R-G-I (CORGI […]
“Christ that sun’s hot”
Yes that’s right sir
Oh help me Mrs Medlicott
I don’t know what to do
I’ve only got three bullets
And there’s four of Motley Crue
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit
“Christ that sun’s hot”
Yes that’s right sir
Oh help me Mrs Medlicott
I don’t know what to do
I’ve only got three bullets
And there’s four of Motley Crue
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit
Faked my way through Glastonbury
By acting all asexually
And then in the acoustic tent
She stood there as if heaven sent
Well if that’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
I’m a sensitive outsider
I’m a sensitive outsider
I’m a sensitive outsider
And I […]
Faked my way through Glastonbury
By acting all asexually
And then in the acoustic tent
She stood there as if heaven sent
Well if that’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
That’s not Enya
I’m a sensitive outsider
I’m a sensitive outsider
I’m a sensitive outsider
And I […]
Horror Clowns are dickheads
You know it’s true
And if you’ve got a phobia of them
You’re a dickhead too
Don’t go worrying and don’t be wary
They have never been remotely scary
Hardly M.R. James
Hardly Edgar Allan Poe
Get a decent mob together
They don’t wanna know […]
Horror Clowns are dickheads
You know it’s true
And if you’ve got a phobia of them
You’re a dickhead too
Don’t go worrying and don’t be wary
They have never been remotely scary
Hardly M.R. James
Hardly Edgar Allan Poe
Get a decent mob together
They don’t wanna know […]
The surgery leaflets
Offer advice
But there’s no preparation
For losing him twice
And now he’s washed and dressed and ready
To keep him safe she’ll face the hurt
And if she could hold that needle steady
She could sew his name into his shirt
#HMHB #HalfManHalfBiscuit
The surgery leaflets
Offer advice
But there’s no preparation
For losing him twice
And now he’s washed and dressed and ready
To keep him safe she’ll face the hurt
And if she could hold that needle steady
She could sew his name into his shirt
#HMHB #HalfManHalfBiscuit
And if eight out of ten cats all prefer Whiskas
Do the other two prefer Lesley Judd?
#hmhb #halfmanhalfbiscuit
And if eight out of ten cats all prefer Whiskas
Do the other two prefer Lesley Judd?
#hmhb #halfmanhalfbiscuit
Oh Jane was pushing baby round the park
When all at once she saw her husband Mark
Well he was with a man down by the stream
So Jane and baby both began to scream
“Fuckin’ ‘Ell, It’s Fred Titmus!”
….
Oh Dracula comes from […]
[Original post on mastodonapp.uk]
Oh Jane was pushing baby round the park
When all at once she saw her husband Mark
Well he was with a man down by the stream
So Jane and baby both began to scream
“Fuckin’ ‘Ell, It’s Fred Titmus!”
….
Oh Dracula comes from […]
[Original post on mastodonapp.uk]
Yeah, Swerving the Checkatrade
Swerving the Checkatrade
So we may get to bill and coo
I’ve weighed up all the pros and cons
Of watching under-21s
Swerving the Checkatrade with you
Oh let me gaze upon your curves
Instead of Ipswich Town reserves
Swerving the […]
Yeah, Swerving the Checkatrade
Swerving the Checkatrade
So we may get to bill and coo
I’ve weighed up all the pros and cons
Of watching under-21s
Swerving the Checkatrade with you
Oh let me gaze upon your curves
Instead of Ipswich Town reserves
Swerving the […]
Is your child hyperactive, or is he perhaps a twat?
Sometimes I like to watch wave rage down on Fistral Beach
Last Ash Wednesday I had tantric sex and it was shit
Next Ash Wednesday I might strive to lick my elbow
Strive in vain
For they say
Few succeed
#HMHB
Is your child hyperactive, or is he perhaps a twat?
Sometimes I like to watch wave rage down on Fistral Beach
Last Ash Wednesday I had tantric sex and it was shit
Next Ash Wednesday I might strive to lick my elbow
Strive in vain
For they say
Few succeed
#HMHB
If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation
Don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations
There’s no “s”, it’s the Book of Revelation
As revealed to St John the Divine
See also Mary Hopkin
She must despair
You’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo
You’ve […]
If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation
Don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations
There’s no “s”, it’s the Book of Revelation
As revealed to St John the Divine
See also Mary Hopkin
She must despair
You’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo
You’ve […]
Escape from Telepudlian Paul
Around about now regaling all
With his ‘Did you see the match?’
And his flat back four
He’s a Super Sunday super bore
Escape up onto Caldy Hill
The spirit of Olaf, and if you will
Stand still, wait, sudden breeze
Clouds part, showtime
And now I’m […]
Escape from Telepudlian Paul
Around about now regaling all
With his ‘Did you see the match?’
And his flat back four
He’s a Super Sunday super bore
Escape up onto Caldy Hill
The spirit of Olaf, and if you will
Stand still, wait, sudden breeze
Clouds part, showtime
And now I’m […]
Our Ted, it has to be said
Produces proof beyond us
Rain, shine or gale force nine
His frames remain intact
Helicopters in my garden
Bringing wind (I beg your pardon)
Double glazing is amazing
Don't you all agree?
No fears, they'll last you for years
Our statistics prove it […]
Our Ted, it has to be said
Produces proof beyond us
Rain, shine or gale force nine
His frames remain intact
Helicopters in my garden
Bringing wind (I beg your pardon)
Double glazing is amazing
Don't you all agree?
No fears, they'll last you for years
Our statistics prove it […]
That they’d better start assembling the boys from the fort
And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
‘Cos there’s gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit
That they’d better start assembling the boys from the fort
And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
‘Cos there’s gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit
Mention The Lord Of The Rings just once more
And I’ll more than likely kill you Moorcock, Moorcock, Michael Moorcock you fervently moan
Is this a wok that you’ve shoved down my throat Or are you just pleased to see me?
Brian Moore’s head looks uncannily like London Planetarium
#HMHB
Mention The Lord Of The Rings just once more
And I’ll more than likely kill you Moorcock, Moorcock, Michael Moorcock you fervently moan
Is this a wok that you’ve shoved down my throat Or are you just pleased to see me?
Brian Moore’s head looks uncannily like London Planetarium
#HMHB
https://www.skysports.com/football/video/33727/13277728/doncaster-double-lead-after-tranmere-defender-loses-shorts
Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch
Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch
It generates a warmth around the […]
https://www.skysports.com/football/video/33727/13277728/doncaster-double-lead-after-tranmere-defender-loses-shorts
Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch
Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch
It generates a warmth around the […]
Every time a bell rings
I hate you some more
#hmhb
Every time a bell rings
I hate you some more
#hmhb