HM
@hindumonkey.bsky.social
Movies, Gaming, FPL Shithousery, Cats & Satire. Don't let this bastard game grind you down.
One Love.
One Love.
Pinned
HM
@hindumonkey.bsky.social
· Jul 4
Today we said goodbye to the greatest FPL playing cat that ever lived. My best friend for 16 years. Those of you who have followed me for a while on X will know how big a part of my life he was.
He died in my arms giving me one last kiss. We will never forget him. Our boy. Richard Hawley.
He died in my arms giving me one last kiss. We will never forget him. Our boy. Richard Hawley.
I couldn't give a fuck if you want to get to know me. But I do enjoy a good list for no reason.
10 random things you like.
Otters
Chilli Jam
Craft Beer
Fire pits
Musicals
Character driven RPGs
Tynemouth
Fishing
Yorkshire Puddings
Anything that makes me laugh in amongst the darkness
10 random things you like.
Otters
Chilli Jam
Craft Beer
Fire pits
Musicals
Character driven RPGs
Tynemouth
Fishing
Yorkshire Puddings
Anything that makes me laugh in amongst the darkness
Get to know your followers
10 random things you like
Cheese - the stronger the better
Cooking
Star Trek
First person RPGs
Puns
Quizzes and quiz shows
Teaching my daughter new things
That rare feeling when nothing is on the agenda today
Presenting anything - see also, podcasting
FPL (at times)
10 random things you like
Cheese - the stronger the better
Cooking
Star Trek
First person RPGs
Puns
Quizzes and quiz shows
Teaching my daughter new things
That rare feeling when nothing is on the agenda today
Presenting anything - see also, podcasting
FPL (at times)
Get to know your followers
10 random things you like
Lord of the rings 💍
Empire magazine and podcast 🎧
Marvel movies 🧑✈️ 🇺🇸
FPL/ watching footy ⚽️
My two dogs 🐕
Cheesecake 🍰
Comic con/ dressing up 🕷️
Southampton FC ❤️🤍
Frosty but sunny mornings ☀️
Horses 🐎
10 random things you like
Lord of the rings 💍
Empire magazine and podcast 🎧
Marvel movies 🧑✈️ 🇺🇸
FPL/ watching footy ⚽️
My two dogs 🐕
Cheesecake 🍰
Comic con/ dressing up 🕷️
Southampton FC ❤️🤍
Frosty but sunny mornings ☀️
Horses 🐎
November 15, 2025 at 1:18 PM
I couldn't give a fuck if you want to get to know me. But I do enjoy a good list for no reason.
10 random things you like.
Otters
Chilli Jam
Craft Beer
Fire pits
Musicals
Character driven RPGs
Tynemouth
Fishing
Yorkshire Puddings
Anything that makes me laugh in amongst the darkness
10 random things you like.
Otters
Chilli Jam
Craft Beer
Fire pits
Musicals
Character driven RPGs
Tynemouth
Fishing
Yorkshire Puddings
Anything that makes me laugh in amongst the darkness
Apologies. All a bit pathetic really isnt it.
But you wait 10 weeks to get 15 players with great fixtures and have your worst week of the season. It just all feels so... pointless.
Will enjoy the international break and come back in two weeks ready to fuck up/laugh at once more.
Chin up tossface.
But you wait 10 weeks to get 15 players with great fixtures and have your worst week of the season. It just all feels so... pointless.
Will enjoy the international break and come back in two weeks ready to fuck up/laugh at once more.
Chin up tossface.
November 9, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Apologies. All a bit pathetic really isnt it.
But you wait 10 weeks to get 15 players with great fixtures and have your worst week of the season. It just all feels so... pointless.
Will enjoy the international break and come back in two weeks ready to fuck up/laugh at once more.
Chin up tossface.
But you wait 10 weeks to get 15 players with great fixtures and have your worst week of the season. It just all feels so... pointless.
Will enjoy the international break and come back in two weeks ready to fuck up/laugh at once more.
Chin up tossface.
18 minutes gone and all bench boost blanking confirmed (barring a Rodon thunderbastard)
Could have played it literally any other week this season and got more points
Its only the second time all season that the 4 subs of mine have blanked
Simply unreal
Could have played it literally any other week this season and got more points
Its only the second time all season that the 4 subs of mine have blanked
Simply unreal
November 9, 2025 at 2:20 PM
18 minutes gone and all bench boost blanking confirmed (barring a Rodon thunderbastard)
Could have played it literally any other week this season and got more points
Its only the second time all season that the 4 subs of mine have blanked
Simply unreal
Could have played it literally any other week this season and got more points
Its only the second time all season that the 4 subs of mine have blanked
Simply unreal
I still cannot believe how badly yesterday went.
Just the variance of Enzo, Ndiaye, Bowen and Eze all blanking based on those performances is just mad.
Whilst every other well owned attacker feasted.
Palace and Newcastle could end my season this afternoon.
Going to bury my phone.
Just the variance of Enzo, Ndiaye, Bowen and Eze all blanking based on those performances is just mad.
Whilst every other well owned attacker feasted.
Palace and Newcastle could end my season this afternoon.
Going to bury my phone.
November 9, 2025 at 11:43 AM
I still cannot believe how badly yesterday went.
Just the variance of Enzo, Ndiaye, Bowen and Eze all blanking based on those performances is just mad.
Whilst every other well owned attacker feasted.
Palace and Newcastle could end my season this afternoon.
Going to bury my phone.
Just the variance of Enzo, Ndiaye, Bowen and Eze all blanking based on those performances is just mad.
Whilst every other well owned attacker feasted.
Palace and Newcastle could end my season this afternoon.
Going to bury my phone.
One of the worst days of my life in FPL and more misery to come.
9 blanks from 10. Don't own Mateta. Bench boost needs to be rescued by Joe fucking Rodon who I should have bench boosted 2 weeks ago.
Getting a red arrow from a chip is generational failure.
Team is on the brink.
9 blanks from 10. Don't own Mateta. Bench boost needs to be rescued by Joe fucking Rodon who I should have bench boosted 2 weeks ago.
Getting a red arrow from a chip is generational failure.
Team is on the brink.
November 9, 2025 at 8:16 AM
One of the worst days of my life in FPL and more misery to come.
9 blanks from 10. Don't own Mateta. Bench boost needs to be rescued by Joe fucking Rodon who I should have bench boosted 2 weeks ago.
Getting a red arrow from a chip is generational failure.
Team is on the brink.
9 blanks from 10. Don't own Mateta. Bench boost needs to be rescued by Joe fucking Rodon who I should have bench boosted 2 weeks ago.
Getting a red arrow from a chip is generational failure.
Team is on the brink.
8 players. 8 blanks.
Saka has outscored my entire squad.
The challenge of 15 blanks on a BB remains ON.
Saka has outscored my entire squad.
The challenge of 15 blanks on a BB remains ON.
No returns from Bowen and Diouf in a 3 goal win legitimately traumatic
5 players, 5 blanks so far. Anybody ever had all 15 players on a bench boost squad not return?
It is ON.
5 players, 5 blanks so far. Anybody ever had all 15 players on a bench boost squad not return?
It is ON.
November 8, 2025 at 7:37 PM
8 players. 8 blanks.
Saka has outscored my entire squad.
The challenge of 15 blanks on a BB remains ON.
Saka has outscored my entire squad.
The challenge of 15 blanks on a BB remains ON.
No returns from Bowen and Diouf in a 3 goal win legitimately traumatic
5 players, 5 blanks so far. Anybody ever had all 15 players on a bench boost squad not return?
It is ON.
5 players, 5 blanks so far. Anybody ever had all 15 players on a bench boost squad not return?
It is ON.
November 8, 2025 at 5:02 PM
No returns from Bowen and Diouf in a 3 goal win legitimately traumatic
5 players, 5 blanks so far. Anybody ever had all 15 players on a bench boost squad not return?
It is ON.
5 players, 5 blanks so far. Anybody ever had all 15 players on a bench boost squad not return?
It is ON.
Locked in. Fuck this game. The sweet relief of the international break is so close I can urinate on it.
November 8, 2025 at 8:45 AM
Locked in. Fuck this game. The sweet relief of the international break is so close I can urinate on it.
Committed to (finally) Bench Boosting.
3 free transfers but suspect using just 1
Kudus out. Worst transfer all season.
Caicedo. Amad or Rogers in.
Preferences welcome. Can afford up to 7.1m.
3 free transfers but suspect using just 1
Kudus out. Worst transfer all season.
Caicedo. Amad or Rogers in.
Preferences welcome. Can afford up to 7.1m.
November 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Committed to (finally) Bench Boosting.
3 free transfers but suspect using just 1
Kudus out. Worst transfer all season.
Caicedo. Amad or Rogers in.
Preferences welcome. Can afford up to 7.1m.
3 free transfers but suspect using just 1
Kudus out. Worst transfer all season.
Caicedo. Amad or Rogers in.
Preferences welcome. Can afford up to 7.1m.
Man Utd Predicted XI for @emma1.bsky.social
I think Maguire comes back in. Amiron likes his experience in the bigger fixtures.
Only other decision is Dorgu v Dalot. And think we for the extra attacker v Porro.
Mount could start over Sesko like against Liverpool, but I'd be surprised.
I think Maguire comes back in. Amiron likes his experience in the bigger fixtures.
Only other decision is Dorgu v Dalot. And think we for the extra attacker v Porro.
Mount could start over Sesko like against Liverpool, but I'd be surprised.
November 7, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Man Utd Predicted XI for @emma1.bsky.social
I think Maguire comes back in. Amiron likes his experience in the bigger fixtures.
Only other decision is Dorgu v Dalot. And think we for the extra attacker v Porro.
Mount could start over Sesko like against Liverpool, but I'd be surprised.
I think Maguire comes back in. Amiron likes his experience in the bigger fixtures.
Only other decision is Dorgu v Dalot. And think we for the extra attacker v Porro.
Mount could start over Sesko like against Liverpool, but I'd be surprised.
Sarr. I am begging you, on my knees . Stop scoring in the cups and do something in a fucking league match.
For the love of everything we hold holy.
For the love of everything we hold holy.
November 6, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Sarr. I am begging you, on my knees . Stop scoring in the cups and do something in a fucking league match.
For the love of everything we hold holy.
For the love of everything we hold holy.
If Palace rotate, will Glazner die
November 6, 2025 at 6:55 PM
If Palace rotate, will Glazner die
Reposted by HM
It's in the interests of the far right to terrify the population.
They think panic will breed hatred, and that will allow them to ethnically cleanse the country - and build an authoritarian state.
But it's based on lies.
Lies and hatred - the eternal basis of the far right.
They think panic will breed hatred, and that will allow them to ethnically cleanse the country - and build an authoritarian state.
But it's based on lies.
Lies and hatred - the eternal basis of the far right.
November 5, 2025 at 8:30 AM
It's in the interests of the far right to terrify the population.
They think panic will breed hatred, and that will allow them to ethnically cleanse the country - and build an authoritarian state.
But it's based on lies.
Lies and hatred - the eternal basis of the far right.
They think panic will breed hatred, and that will allow them to ethnically cleanse the country - and build an authoritarian state.
But it's based on lies.
Lies and hatred - the eternal basis of the far right.
Reposted by HM
The far right want you to believe that immigration causes an explosion of crime.
It's simply untrue.
Crime has gone down - and crucially, we are a markedly less violent society than we once were.
It's simply untrue.
Crime has gone down - and crucially, we are a markedly less violent society than we once were.
November 5, 2025 at 8:30 AM
The far right want you to believe that immigration causes an explosion of crime.
It's simply untrue.
Crime has gone down - and crucially, we are a markedly less violent society than we once were.
It's simply untrue.
Crime has gone down - and crucially, we are a markedly less violent society than we once were.
Rice, Caicedo, Xhaka, Grav and Bruno G have 24 attacking returns between them after 10 games
Saka, Foden, Wirtz, Cunha and Gordon have 5
The issue isn't defcons. It's that wide/creative mids are doing absolutely fuck all and deep lying mids are storming into the box
Adapt or die? Or variance...
Saka, Foden, Wirtz, Cunha and Gordon have 5
The issue isn't defcons. It's that wide/creative mids are doing absolutely fuck all and deep lying mids are storming into the box
Adapt or die? Or variance...
November 4, 2025 at 8:06 AM
Rice, Caicedo, Xhaka, Grav and Bruno G have 24 attacking returns between them after 10 games
Saka, Foden, Wirtz, Cunha and Gordon have 5
The issue isn't defcons. It's that wide/creative mids are doing absolutely fuck all and deep lying mids are storming into the box
Adapt or die? Or variance...
Saka, Foden, Wirtz, Cunha and Gordon have 5
The issue isn't defcons. It's that wide/creative mids are doing absolutely fuck all and deep lying mids are storming into the box
Adapt or die? Or variance...
Not over the Bowen blank
I'm not sure I ever will
Could play that game 10,000 times and blank in the one timeline we are living in
I'm not sure I ever will
Could play that game 10,000 times and blank in the one timeline we are living in
November 3, 2025 at 10:14 AM
Not over the Bowen blank
I'm not sure I ever will
Could play that game 10,000 times and blank in the one timeline we are living in
I'm not sure I ever will
Could play that game 10,000 times and blank in the one timeline we are living in
For the two cash/charity leagues I run, I will be counting Bowens perfectly legitimate assist as 3 points for all owners. This will be added to monthly and overal totals when calculating cash prizes.
Hope others take note and don't let open, flagrant and wanton corruption win.
That is all.
Hope others take note and don't let open, flagrant and wanton corruption win.
That is all.
November 2, 2025 at 10:42 PM
For the two cash/charity leagues I run, I will be counting Bowens perfectly legitimate assist as 3 points for all owners. This will be added to monthly and overal totals when calculating cash prizes.
Hope others take note and don't let open, flagrant and wanton corruption win.
That is all.
Hope others take note and don't let open, flagrant and wanton corruption win.
That is all.
November 2, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Oh and he's now about to fall in price. Man should have enjoyed a 12 pointer.
Owners getting violently assaulted, set fire to and pissed on.
See you again next week.
Owners getting violently assaulted, set fire to and pissed on.
See you again next week.
I think that might be the unluckiest blank in FPL history from Bowen
How have they not even given him the final assist 😂
If ever a single game summed how little skill this game is... that was it.
How have they not even given him the final assist 😂
If ever a single game summed how little skill this game is... that was it.
November 2, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Oh and he's now about to fall in price. Man should have enjoyed a 12 pointer.
Owners getting violently assaulted, set fire to and pissed on.
See you again next week.
Owners getting violently assaulted, set fire to and pissed on.
See you again next week.
I think that might be the unluckiest blank in FPL history from Bowen
How have they not even given him the final assist 😂
If ever a single game summed how little skill this game is... that was it.
How have they not even given him the final assist 😂
If ever a single game summed how little skill this game is... that was it.
November 2, 2025 at 4:04 PM
I think that might be the unluckiest blank in FPL history from Bowen
How have they not even given him the final assist 😂
If ever a single game summed how little skill this game is... that was it.
How have they not even given him the final assist 😂
If ever a single game summed how little skill this game is... that was it.
Casimiro was SENT OFF for winning the ball and taking out the man in middle of pitch
Had he done that exact tackle in box it would have been fine though
Insane
Had he done that exact tackle in box it would have been fine though
Insane
Honestly I'm done with football when they are reversing penalties like that
At this point you could get a feather touch on the ball and shoot somebody and it wouldn't be a penalty
At this point you could get a feather touch on the ball and shoot somebody and it wouldn't be a penalty
November 2, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Casimiro was SENT OFF for winning the ball and taking out the man in middle of pitch
Had he done that exact tackle in box it would have been fine though
Insane
Had he done that exact tackle in box it would have been fine though
Insane
Honestly I'm done with football when they are reversing penalties like that
At this point you could get a feather touch on the ball and shoot somebody and it wouldn't be a penalty
At this point you could get a feather touch on the ball and shoot somebody and it wouldn't be a penalty
November 2, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Honestly I'm done with football when they are reversing penalties like that
At this point you could get a feather touch on the ball and shoot somebody and it wouldn't be a penalty
At this point you could get a feather touch on the ball and shoot somebody and it wouldn't be a penalty
Still the perfect movie.
November 2, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Still the perfect movie.
Waking up to see people with every player returning and looking at my worst midfield in the fucking game
And yes. I benched Semenyo. Like an absolute dickhead.
I embrace the fisting to come.
And yes. I benched Semenyo. Like an absolute dickhead.
I embrace the fisting to come.
November 2, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Waking up to see people with every player returning and looking at my worst midfield in the fucking game
And yes. I benched Semenyo. Like an absolute dickhead.
I embrace the fisting to come.
And yes. I benched Semenyo. Like an absolute dickhead.
I embrace the fisting to come.