HM
@hindumonkey.bsky.social
Movies, Gaming, FPL Shithousery, Cats & Satire. Don't let this bastard game grind you down.
One Love.
One Love.
Pinned
HM
@hindumonkey.bsky.social
· Jul 4
Today we said goodbye to the greatest FPL playing cat that ever lived. My best friend for 16 years. Those of you who have followed me for a while on X will know how big a part of my life he was.
He died in my arms giving me one last kiss. We will never forget him. Our boy. Richard Hawley.
He died in my arms giving me one last kiss. We will never forget him. Our boy. Richard Hawley.
Can't even field XI players any more
What the Van Hecke is going on
What the Van Hecke is going on
February 8, 2026 at 12:49 PM
Can't even field XI players any more
What the Van Hecke is going on
What the Van Hecke is going on
The one thing that has surprised me about Carricks Utd so far is that it's not really a 4 2 3 1. It's much more a 4 4 2 with Amad in particular very wide and Bruno pushed right up alongside Mbeumo.
He switches it slightly when Sesko comes on and then he moves a bit deeper.
He switches it slightly when Sesko comes on and then he moves a bit deeper.
February 8, 2026 at 10:38 AM
The one thing that has surprised me about Carricks Utd so far is that it's not really a 4 2 3 1. It's much more a 4 4 2 with Amad in particular very wide and Bruno pushed right up alongside Mbeumo.
He switches it slightly when Sesko comes on and then he moves a bit deeper.
He switches it slightly when Sesko comes on and then he moves a bit deeper.
Waking up to another red arrow and a rank higher than every rank ever achieved over a 10 year history combined.
February 8, 2026 at 9:36 AM
Waking up to another red arrow and a rank higher than every rank ever achieved over a 10 year history combined.
Janelt is on 42 bps after one half and one goal
What on earth
What on earth
February 7, 2026 at 6:34 PM
Janelt is on 42 bps after one half and one goal
What on earth
What on earth
Another red arrow confirmed unless Thiago hits double digits. Literally no point in playing at this point
I almost transferred in Dewsbury-Hall but thought an extra free next week would hold more value. Nope. Just fisted by variance as fucking per
I'll buy him tonight and he'll be injured tomorrow
I almost transferred in Dewsbury-Hall but thought an extra free next week would hold more value. Nope. Just fisted by variance as fucking per
I'll buy him tonight and he'll be injured tomorrow
February 7, 2026 at 5:11 PM
Another red arrow confirmed unless Thiago hits double digits. Literally no point in playing at this point
I almost transferred in Dewsbury-Hall but thought an extra free next week would hold more value. Nope. Just fisted by variance as fucking per
I'll buy him tonight and he'll be injured tomorrow
I almost transferred in Dewsbury-Hall but thought an extra free next week would hold more value. Nope. Just fisted by variance as fucking per
I'll buy him tonight and he'll be injured tomorrow
I've got to stop playing Martin Dubravaka
It's just self harm at this point
It's just self harm at this point
February 7, 2026 at 3:14 PM
I've got to stop playing Martin Dubravaka
It's just self harm at this point
It's just self harm at this point
It's mind boggling to me that we live in a country that can cancel Gary Lineker for not wanting to blow up kids, whilst welcoming in Farage as our leader who is in the Epstein Files, wrecked our country via Brexit, best mates with Trump and Putin and has broken the code of office again and again.
February 7, 2026 at 9:47 AM
It's mind boggling to me that we live in a country that can cancel Gary Lineker for not wanting to blow up kids, whilst welcoming in Farage as our leader who is in the Epstein Files, wrecked our country via Brexit, best mates with Trump and Putin and has broken the code of office again and again.
He's now injured. When he would have at least got Defcons.
Genuinely fucking incredible. If my FPL team fell from space, it would hit every bit of fucking debris, burn up on re-entry, before crashing into my arse with the power of a thousand suns.
Fuck off and die.
Genuinely fucking incredible. If my FPL team fell from space, it would hit every bit of fucking debris, burn up on re-entry, before crashing into my arse with the power of a thousand suns.
Fuck off and die.
How can the Leeds attacker I own still not have a fucking return?
It's absolutely fucking ludicrous.
The football gods opening their bloodied bowels and shitting all over me as they piss straight into my gaping mouth.
Every single fucking week I have to endure this luckless fuckfest.
Fuck off.
It's absolutely fucking ludicrous.
The football gods opening their bloodied bowels and shitting all over me as they piss straight into my gaping mouth.
Every single fucking week I have to endure this luckless fuckfest.
Fuck off.
February 6, 2026 at 9:37 PM
He's now injured. When he would have at least got Defcons.
Genuinely fucking incredible. If my FPL team fell from space, it would hit every bit of fucking debris, burn up on re-entry, before crashing into my arse with the power of a thousand suns.
Fuck off and die.
Genuinely fucking incredible. If my FPL team fell from space, it would hit every bit of fucking debris, burn up on re-entry, before crashing into my arse with the power of a thousand suns.
Fuck off and die.
How can the Leeds attacker I own still not have a fucking return?
It's absolutely fucking ludicrous.
The football gods opening their bloodied bowels and shitting all over me as they piss straight into my gaping mouth.
Every single fucking week I have to endure this luckless fuckfest.
Fuck off.
It's absolutely fucking ludicrous.
The football gods opening their bloodied bowels and shitting all over me as they piss straight into my gaping mouth.
Every single fucking week I have to endure this luckless fuckfest.
Fuck off.
February 6, 2026 at 9:09 PM
How can the Leeds attacker I own still not have a fucking return?
It's absolutely fucking ludicrous.
The football gods opening their bloodied bowels and shitting all over me as they piss straight into my gaping mouth.
Every single fucking week I have to endure this luckless fuckfest.
Fuck off.
It's absolutely fucking ludicrous.
The football gods opening their bloodied bowels and shitting all over me as they piss straight into my gaping mouth.
Every single fucking week I have to endure this luckless fuckfest.
Fuck off.
This weeks absolute fucking car crash
February 6, 2026 at 4:02 PM
This weeks absolute fucking car crash
Predicted Man Utd team for @emma1.bsky.social
Unchanged. But there are still 2 close calls
At some point Mazza has to replace Dalot at RB. He's better, plain and simple
And Sesko probably deserves a start. But for who, I couldn't say
I think he goes with the below, but I hope he makes 2 changes
Unchanged. But there are still 2 close calls
At some point Mazza has to replace Dalot at RB. He's better, plain and simple
And Sesko probably deserves a start. But for who, I couldn't say
I think he goes with the below, but I hope he makes 2 changes
February 6, 2026 at 12:47 PM
Predicted Man Utd team for @emma1.bsky.social
Unchanged. But there are still 2 close calls
At some point Mazza has to replace Dalot at RB. He's better, plain and simple
And Sesko probably deserves a start. But for who, I couldn't say
I think he goes with the below, but I hope he makes 2 changes
Unchanged. But there are still 2 close calls
At some point Mazza has to replace Dalot at RB. He's better, plain and simple
And Sesko probably deserves a start. But for who, I couldn't say
I think he goes with the below, but I hope he makes 2 changes
I think what's frustrating is when I look at FPL teams doing so well they have 8 or 9 players the same as me
But those 2 or 3 differentials are just resulting in a mad 10-15 point erosion each and every week
Never known luck like it. I've had bad seasons before, but not such boringly bad ones.
But those 2 or 3 differentials are just resulting in a mad 10-15 point erosion each and every week
Never known luck like it. I've had bad seasons before, but not such boringly bad ones.
February 5, 2026 at 7:44 AM
I think what's frustrating is when I look at FPL teams doing so well they have 8 or 9 players the same as me
But those 2 or 3 differentials are just resulting in a mad 10-15 point erosion each and every week
Never known luck like it. I've had bad seasons before, but not such boringly bad ones.
But those 2 or 3 differentials are just resulting in a mad 10-15 point erosion each and every week
Never known luck like it. I've had bad seasons before, but not such boringly bad ones.
Anthony Gordon injured
a woman says the lord is testing me while wearing a black sweater
ALT: a woman says the lord is testing me while wearing a black sweater
media.tenor.com
February 4, 2026 at 8:48 PM
Anthony Gordon injured
Reposted by HM
Nigel Farage is named 43 times in the Epstein files.
43 times.
not 1 or 2 times.
43.
why is he not being asked about this and why are the media not questioning this?
this is the man who most bookies think will be our next PM, yet I've yet to see ANY journalist or publication question this.
43 times.
not 1 or 2 times.
43.
why is he not being asked about this and why are the media not questioning this?
this is the man who most bookies think will be our next PM, yet I've yet to see ANY journalist or publication question this.
February 4, 2026 at 7:21 AM
Nigel Farage is named 43 times in the Epstein files.
43 times.
not 1 or 2 times.
43.
why is he not being asked about this and why are the media not questioning this?
this is the man who most bookies think will be our next PM, yet I've yet to see ANY journalist or publication question this.
43 times.
not 1 or 2 times.
43.
why is he not being asked about this and why are the media not questioning this?
this is the man who most bookies think will be our next PM, yet I've yet to see ANY journalist or publication question this.
Reposted by HM
Do NOT believe the lies of #Farage & #Reform.
5p off a pint - whoop-de-fucking-do! 🙄
Remember, while we might save a whopping 5p on a pint, the #privatised health insurance he’s proposing will end up costing us thousands more.
5p off a pint - whoop-de-fucking-do! 🙄
Remember, while we might save a whopping 5p on a pint, the #privatised health insurance he’s proposing will end up costing us thousands more.
5p off a pint Nigel Farage is offering you, which will cost you an extra £0.4bn on your taxes or £0.4bn off your Public Spending.
These are the 'great' changes Reform are offering.
Absolutely fuck all.
These are the 'great' changes Reform are offering.
Absolutely fuck all.
February 4, 2026 at 6:51 AM
Do NOT believe the lies of #Farage & #Reform.
5p off a pint - whoop-de-fucking-do! 🙄
Remember, while we might save a whopping 5p on a pint, the #privatised health insurance he’s proposing will end up costing us thousands more.
5p off a pint - whoop-de-fucking-do! 🙄
Remember, while we might save a whopping 5p on a pint, the #privatised health insurance he’s proposing will end up costing us thousands more.
I feel I owe Liverpool an apology for saying their team was the worst I'd seen win a Premier League when this Arsenal side exists
February 4, 2026 at 7:36 AM
I feel I owe Liverpool an apology for saying their team was the worst I'd seen win a Premier League when this Arsenal side exists
Literally taking food from children to give beer to boomers.
It's hard to think of any policy in our political history, which greater symbolises how we are entirely controlled by a single, selfish generation.
It's hard to think of any policy in our political history, which greater symbolises how we are entirely controlled by a single, selfish generation.
February 3, 2026 at 9:35 AM
Literally taking food from children to give beer to boomers.
It's hard to think of any policy in our political history, which greater symbolises how we are entirely controlled by a single, selfish generation.
It's hard to think of any policy in our political history, which greater symbolises how we are entirely controlled by a single, selfish generation.
12th shit GW in a row.
It can't go on like this, can it
It can't go on like this, can it
a man wearing glasses stands in front of a purple hat that says bbc radio lancashire
ALT: a man wearing glasses stands in front of a purple hat that says bbc radio lancashire
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2026 at 10:14 PM
12th shit GW in a row.
It can't go on like this, can it
It can't go on like this, can it
Once again. Played Dubravaka over Petrovic.
February 2, 2026 at 8:13 PM
Once again. Played Dubravaka over Petrovic.
Me trying to have a good GW
February 1, 2026 at 8:03 PM
Me trying to have a good GW
Carrick Ball massively offsetting an FPL season where everything I touch turns to molten shit.
Plus you know. Spurs. If you can't laugh, you have nothing.
Plus you know. Spurs. If you can't laugh, you have nothing.
February 1, 2026 at 5:16 PM
Carrick Ball massively offsetting an FPL season where everything I touch turns to molten shit.
Plus you know. Spurs. If you can't laugh, you have nothing.
Plus you know. Spurs. If you can't laugh, you have nothing.
*sold Gordon
*went Rice over Enzo
97th minute clean sheet wipe out for Van Hecke
Minteh one pointer
No defcons
Rice blank in a 4-0 win
Benched Petrovic
This can't continue
Minteh one pointer
No defcons
Rice blank in a 4-0 win
Benched Petrovic
This can't continue
January 31, 2026 at 8:55 PM
*sold Gordon
*went Rice over Enzo
97th minute clean sheet wipe out for Van Hecke
Minteh one pointer
No defcons
Rice blank in a 4-0 win
Benched Petrovic
This can't continue
Minteh one pointer
No defcons
Rice blank in a 4-0 win
Benched Petrovic
This can't continue
a man wearing glasses and a black jacket is sitting in front of a purple microphone that says bbc radio lancashire
ALT: a man wearing glasses and a black jacket is sitting in front of a purple microphone that says bbc radio lancashire
media.tenor.com
January 31, 2026 at 7:57 PM
*went Rice over Enzo
97th minute clean sheet wipe out for Van Hecke
Minteh one pointer
No defcons
Rice blank in a 4-0 win
Benched Petrovic
This can't continue
Minteh one pointer
No defcons
Rice blank in a 4-0 win
Benched Petrovic
This can't continue
a man wearing glasses and a black jacket is sitting in front of a purple microphone that says bbc radio lancashire
ALT: a man wearing glasses and a black jacket is sitting in front of a purple microphone that says bbc radio lancashire
media.tenor.com
January 31, 2026 at 5:02 PM
97th minute clean sheet wipe out for Van Hecke
Minteh one pointer
No defcons
Rice blank in a 4-0 win
Benched Petrovic
This can't continue
Minteh one pointer
No defcons
Rice blank in a 4-0 win
Benched Petrovic
This can't continue